goodbye.......
so many things to say.so little time.its hard losing someone,its even harder losing someone through death.we prepare our selves for these situations but still they are shocking and very sad time's.
i am in one of those time's right now with my grampa.he hasnt passed on yet,but it is really close and its scary.i have been in the hospital visiting him quite a few times in the last while.my first time in on sunday was hard i didnt know what to say,he looked at me and it sent a chill through my body.i couldnt hold it in to hold his hand or talk to him.he know's your there he reconnizes your face,but he cant speak,we only get faint mumbles from him.i went in tuesday with the family and they told me my dad and my uncles decided to have the IV removed to not prolong any pain.i was only in the room for 2 minutes when i went to the bed and i spoke to him and held his hand and let him know that i love him very much,it felt good to say these words and to hold his hand.when i was a kid he always asked my about the blonde girl down the street,and i was always like ewwwww,but he joked with me about it all the time.so when i left i told him i loved him and i was off to find that blonde from down the street.my mom told him she was taking me home and she'd be back in a bit,and he said "ALLRIGHT" in a faint voice.we where all shocked.he havent heard words from sence he went into the hospital,we had only heard moans and faint mumbles.when my mom and i left i told her that was the last time i would see my grampa as i choked back a few tears,and she said it probably will be and we thought he would leave us all very soon....later that night i decided to go back out to the hospital with my dad to see him one last time.my dad droped me off at the doors and took my aunt home and got us some coffee.so i headed up to his room by myself.when i got in the room he was asleep and i told him hello and i was gonna stay with him for a bit,he looked at me and reached for my hand and i held it and told him i love him so much and he faintly said i love you too,i was very comforting hearing that from him.so for the next 20 min before my dad got back he mumbled away about who knows what,i couldnt under stand it but i knew he was happy that i was there for him.when my dad got there i told him that grampa had been taking none stop sence i got there so my dad talked with him for a bit.and out of the mumbles and faint words he asked "where's jason",a tear rolled down my cheek as i walked over to him and told him i was right here in the room with him,he fallowed me with his eyes as i got closer and he continued to mumble and talk.this went on for 4 hours,me and my dad could not belive it.he was asking if everthing had been taken care of and if the boys will be ok amoung other things.he finally fell asleep a 3:30am and we had been there sence 11:30pm.he knows he's dying and is aware of all of us going to see him and he knows we all love him very much and we know he loves us all and its only a matter of time till he passes on and he'll be in a place where there is no pain,a place where is only happy memories,and a place with my grama,a place of peace,a place of rest......and forever a place in my heart that says"i love you grampa".......
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GRAMPA.
i am in one of those time's right now with my grampa.he hasnt passed on yet,but it is really close and its scary.i have been in the hospital visiting him quite a few times in the last while.my first time in on sunday was hard i didnt know what to say,he looked at me and it sent a chill through my body.i couldnt hold it in to hold his hand or talk to him.he know's your there he reconnizes your face,but he cant speak,we only get faint mumbles from him.i went in tuesday with the family and they told me my dad and my uncles decided to have the IV removed to not prolong any pain.i was only in the room for 2 minutes when i went to the bed and i spoke to him and held his hand and let him know that i love him very much,it felt good to say these words and to hold his hand.when i was a kid he always asked my about the blonde girl down the street,and i was always like ewwwww,but he joked with me about it all the time.so when i left i told him i loved him and i was off to find that blonde from down the street.my mom told him she was taking me home and she'd be back in a bit,and he said "ALLRIGHT" in a faint voice.we where all shocked.he havent heard words from sence he went into the hospital,we had only heard moans and faint mumbles.when my mom and i left i told her that was the last time i would see my grampa as i choked back a few tears,and she said it probably will be and we thought he would leave us all very soon....later that night i decided to go back out to the hospital with my dad to see him one last time.my dad droped me off at the doors and took my aunt home and got us some coffee.so i headed up to his room by myself.when i got in the room he was asleep and i told him hello and i was gonna stay with him for a bit,he looked at me and reached for my hand and i held it and told him i love him so much and he faintly said i love you too,i was very comforting hearing that from him.so for the next 20 min before my dad got back he mumbled away about who knows what,i couldnt under stand it but i knew he was happy that i was there for him.when my dad got there i told him that grampa had been taking none stop sence i got there so my dad talked with him for a bit.and out of the mumbles and faint words he asked "where's jason",a tear rolled down my cheek as i walked over to him and told him i was right here in the room with him,he fallowed me with his eyes as i got closer and he continued to mumble and talk.this went on for 4 hours,me and my dad could not belive it.he was asking if everthing had been taken care of and if the boys will be ok amoung other things.he finally fell asleep a 3:30am and we had been there sence 11:30pm.he knows he's dying and is aware of all of us going to see him and he knows we all love him very much and we know he loves us all and its only a matter of time till he passes on and he'll be in a place where there is no pain,a place where is only happy memories,and a place with my grama,a place of peace,a place of rest......and forever a place in my heart that says"i love you grampa".......
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GRAMPA.