(no subject)
I'm in such a bad place right now. I'm so lost and confused and depressed and angry and furious and irritated all of that plus more. I fucking hate my job and the way that i get treated there. Do you know how it feels when people look down on you? When people see you as not being good enough? I give everything i've got for that fucking job, but apparently that's not enough. I do my fucking best. Do you know how that feels? DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FEELS?!?! I JUST WANT TO SAY FUCK YOU ALL! I'm sorry that i have ADHD. I'm sorry that it causes me to hyperfocus on a task and you have to get my attention for a guest. I'm sorry that it causes me to become easily overwhelmed and freeze up. I'm sorry that the way my brain works makes me work more slowly than most people. I'm sorry that i give my absolute best but it just isn't enough for you. I'M FUCKING SORRY THAT YOU HAVE THE FUCKING MISFORTUNE OF HAVING TO WORK WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME!!!
But now I ask you, what the fuck am I supposed to do? The only jobs available are in retail and the like. They all have fast-pace environments that are not conducive to a person with my disability. I have rent. I have bills. I have expenses. I'm a person just like each and every one of you. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Even when i'm on my medication, i still can't do the job up to par. So, if you have an answer for me, please tell me what the fuck i'm supposed to do, because i'm all out of options.
I apologize if i offended anyone with this, but it is how i feel, and I needed to say it.