Star Wars: THE REVIEW! *POTENTIAL SPOILERS HEREIN!*
TAKE NOTE: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! YOU ARE WARNED!
Last night, I had the pleasure of sitting in the midnight showing of Star Wars Epidode III: Revenge of the Sith, along with other lucky people, and I felt the film was worth sitting for two hours pre-show, with a bunch of dumbfucks making Wookie noises. And, to quote Kevin Smith, it is pretty fucking awesome. This is a film that shows just how far we've come in visual technology, and how great a film maker George Lucas is.
Take note, this is a very dark film, and it should be. This is about the transformation of Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader, one of the greatest film villans in movie history. If you're looking for a good lighthearted romp, you may want to look into The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, because if you go into this for happy, you'll be scared shitless.
This film brings us a quick but menacing new villan: General Greivous, the cyborg Jedi hunter, whose capture would bring about the end of the war. So, Obi-Wan and Anakin fly to Greivous's ship, where Palpatine is being held captive. They board the ship, lightsabers in hand, ready to slash the everloving crap out of the droids. They eventually find Palpatine, being guarded by our friend Count Dooku. Dooku is promptly beheaded (With the help of his own lightsaber), and the three move on, only to be captured by droids and brought to Greivous. Long story short, the droids are slain, and greivous escapes.
Soon, Anakin finds Padme (With her hair like Leia's Cinnabuns), and she tells him that she is pregnant with her children. He has a dream that she dies in childbirth, which troubles him. Greatly.
The Clone War ends pretty soon in the film, after Ben kills Greivous. This leaves the rest of the film to center on Anakin's transformation to Darth Vader, and Palpatine being revealed as Darth Sidious.
Mace Windu and several others come to arrest Palpatine, and they are promptly killed off. Mace Windu corners Palpy, which is when he releases everyone's favorite scary shit...that's right...he electrocutes Mace! Anakin promptly kills Mace, and Palpatine knights Anakin as *dramatic pause* Darth Vader.
Soon, Order 66 is executed, meaning the deaths of many Jedi across the universe. Soon, Anakin invades the Jedi Temple, to find the younglings (From Attack of the Clones) hiding behind the seats in the Council Room. "What should we do, Master Anakin?" one asks. The next time we see the younglings, Yoda is walking through a hallway, their bodies lying lifeless.
Anakin flies to the firey planet of Mustafar, to kill the Separatist leaders (Don't worry about who they are), and is followed by Padme (and Obi-Wan, whose hiding in the ship), who wants to try and convince Anakin to stay with her. This is when Ben and Anakin have their lightsaber duel, ending with Ben leaving Anakin, legs gone, and on fire, spitting curses at him. Soon, Palpatine comes to retrieve him and take him to the Star Destroyer, to painfully restore his charred body with mechanical parts and the famous Vader get-up. This is when he learns that Padme has died. He's killed the one person he loved, the person he'd gone to the Dark Side to protect. "Nooooooooo!" he cries.
The last 15 minutes of the film are PACKED with linkups, such as:
- At the end of the picture, Threepio and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles, but they also get their memory bank's wiped.
- Vader, now restored, meets the young Grand Moff Tarkin, on the deck of the Star Destroyer, looking out on the faintest traces of the Death Star.
- The twins, Leia and Luke, now motherless (Because Padme dies in childbirth). Leia heads to Alderann with Bail Organa, and Obi Wan hands Luke over to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, complete with the setting suns of Tatooine, like the beginning of Episode Four.
- Yoda telling Obi Wan that, as he heads to Tatooine to hand over Luke and go into exile, that he should spend his time learning to commune with those who've crossed over to the "next stage of life", as Yoda maintains he's been doing with Qui Gon (and Ben will later do with both Luke and Yoda, in Episodes Five and Six).
- The best link-up of all is Bail Organa steppong into the hallway of the Rebel Blockade Runner, which opened Episode Four. Unlike the rest of the high-tech shit from the rest of the prequel trilogy, this looks amazingly low-tech, straight out of 1977.
All in all, this is one of the greatest films I've seen in a good while. I'm not normally an action/sci-fi fan, but Star Wars is worth the exception. This film has been worth the wait, and worth the death of my limbs during the 4 1/2 hours I was in that theater last night. I got there about 10:05.
Last night, I had the pleasure of sitting in the midnight showing of Star Wars Epidode III: Revenge of the Sith, along with other lucky people, and I felt the film was worth sitting for two hours pre-show, with a bunch of dumbfucks making Wookie noises. And, to quote Kevin Smith, it is pretty fucking awesome. This is a film that shows just how far we've come in visual technology, and how great a film maker George Lucas is.
Take note, this is a very dark film, and it should be. This is about the transformation of Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader, one of the greatest film villans in movie history. If you're looking for a good lighthearted romp, you may want to look into The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, because if you go into this for happy, you'll be scared shitless.
This film brings us a quick but menacing new villan: General Greivous, the cyborg Jedi hunter, whose capture would bring about the end of the war. So, Obi-Wan and Anakin fly to Greivous's ship, where Palpatine is being held captive. They board the ship, lightsabers in hand, ready to slash the everloving crap out of the droids. They eventually find Palpatine, being guarded by our friend Count Dooku. Dooku is promptly beheaded (With the help of his own lightsaber), and the three move on, only to be captured by droids and brought to Greivous. Long story short, the droids are slain, and greivous escapes.
Soon, Anakin finds Padme (With her hair like Leia's Cinnabuns), and she tells him that she is pregnant with her children. He has a dream that she dies in childbirth, which troubles him. Greatly.
The Clone War ends pretty soon in the film, after Ben kills Greivous. This leaves the rest of the film to center on Anakin's transformation to Darth Vader, and Palpatine being revealed as Darth Sidious.
Mace Windu and several others come to arrest Palpatine, and they are promptly killed off. Mace Windu corners Palpy, which is when he releases everyone's favorite scary shit...that's right...he electrocutes Mace! Anakin promptly kills Mace, and Palpatine knights Anakin as *dramatic pause* Darth Vader.
Soon, Order 66 is executed, meaning the deaths of many Jedi across the universe. Soon, Anakin invades the Jedi Temple, to find the younglings (From Attack of the Clones) hiding behind the seats in the Council Room. "What should we do, Master Anakin?" one asks. The next time we see the younglings, Yoda is walking through a hallway, their bodies lying lifeless.
Anakin flies to the firey planet of Mustafar, to kill the Separatist leaders (Don't worry about who they are), and is followed by Padme (and Obi-Wan, whose hiding in the ship), who wants to try and convince Anakin to stay with her. This is when Ben and Anakin have their lightsaber duel, ending with Ben leaving Anakin, legs gone, and on fire, spitting curses at him. Soon, Palpatine comes to retrieve him and take him to the Star Destroyer, to painfully restore his charred body with mechanical parts and the famous Vader get-up. This is when he learns that Padme has died. He's killed the one person he loved, the person he'd gone to the Dark Side to protect. "Nooooooooo!" he cries.
The last 15 minutes of the film are PACKED with linkups, such as:
- At the end of the picture, Threepio and Artoo are given to Captain Antilles, but they also get their memory bank's wiped.
- Vader, now restored, meets the young Grand Moff Tarkin, on the deck of the Star Destroyer, looking out on the faintest traces of the Death Star.
- The twins, Leia and Luke, now motherless (Because Padme dies in childbirth). Leia heads to Alderann with Bail Organa, and Obi Wan hands Luke over to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, complete with the setting suns of Tatooine, like the beginning of Episode Four.
- Yoda telling Obi Wan that, as he heads to Tatooine to hand over Luke and go into exile, that he should spend his time learning to commune with those who've crossed over to the "next stage of life", as Yoda maintains he's been doing with Qui Gon (and Ben will later do with both Luke and Yoda, in Episodes Five and Six).
- The best link-up of all is Bail Organa steppong into the hallway of the Rebel Blockade Runner, which opened Episode Four. Unlike the rest of the high-tech shit from the rest of the prequel trilogy, this looks amazingly low-tech, straight out of 1977.
All in all, this is one of the greatest films I've seen in a good while. I'm not normally an action/sci-fi fan, but Star Wars is worth the exception. This film has been worth the wait, and worth the death of my limbs during the 4 1/2 hours I was in that theater last night. I got there about 10:05.