work work work

[blackflamingo06]

whatt work.I've been so tired taht i'bve been wondering why does my mom and brother have so much time to watch tv?WTf I have barly enough time to talk on the phone cause i've been too tired to do ANYTHING else. I usally have to drag my tired self out just to get down town to relax in a different environment. i feel like a 30 year old in a 18 year olds life.MEEh.Yeah The only internet time i have is at work cause I'm starting to work more which I'm glad but Its already is enough is enough I feel liek I don;t work hard enough and my mom just bitches at me cause I'm indecive..Hmm anyways this morning I had work experiend semnair at 7 I went then eric vanderwall showed up we talked for about a half hour caugh up on each others life.I then relized that i lost touch with alot of people and it made me sad but then I rememerbered its not liek any of these peopel are trying to get ahold of me or that only limiting my self to about 6 people who I talk to at school was what I wanted. also I'm on day 5 of jogging but mostly wlaking cause i'm out of shape and I've been watching what I eat and it makes me want to Eat morree...mmmm..my brother forgot his lunch and i almost want to eat it but then i know I don;t need that much food to fill my body i'm just a fatfuck who lovves FOOD..MMM..I love smelling food,tasteing food and watching food..I can go on and on about food causze its soo good but then i remmebr somthing nancy said about how food was designed for survival not to just eat.I've noticed all my life I've eaten just because It was their and for the first time I'm eating cause I'm hungry..WHOA.Its its liek DUURRR cherise DURR..Ha.eric completely put me in a better mood this morning I forgot what it was liek to talk to him Its nice catching up with old faces..I really can't wait to graduate though.Can't wait.I'm excited to be working though i just wish my dad would call me back and quit being a shitty father since now he has a GF he abondens his kids to start a new family so I wrote him a letter today and hopfully hell get in and call me back cause i figure if I can get him to take over my car insurance and help with college I should be okay.I get sad though when i think about how shitty he's been he hasn't really helped with anything my mom has done it all.which I completely respect her for it its just the way she treats me It liek we can talk with out yelling and what I think it really is Thats she burned out with parenting and she trys to put larry on me and its liek already I have a full load right now.With work ,school and golf then she wants me to pick up larry and drive him around and i ask if she can do it then Its liek "OMG..YOur rebeling!!AAH..How could YOU!!!" How could I?I mean how many people do what I do? I don;t think its alot and its not liek she cleans teh house or anything I'm usally doing and when i do get paid It not like I get to keep thats money cause my mom is liek "cherise you need to pay your half" Its like DAMN woman How am I suppose to pay for college when I'm still struggling to pay you back for just breathing?jesus it makes my brain explode every time.I just get all worked up that all I can do Is take a deep breath and just keep living life.Thsi is what I chose to do and i can get through it.on the brighter side of things no one is dieding.the next couple of months are going to suck cause I need to save money up.when i was talking to eric about how I blew my money on eating out and gas he just sort of look at me liek "cherise your fine" Meeh I feel like my insides are a mess though and that maybe I'm overreacting? probably?
yeeah well I'm working for 9 to 5 today no customer have been in today things are slow today I'm planing on catching up on school work and I suppose to train the new girl my uncle hired before he left for vaction.Woot I just for jack johnson I'm going to burn It right now for my own listening pleasure..MMM..Yess the day just got better.