The Truth About Pregnancy
So!
I have a plot coming up for mia_pappas in my RP. Basically she's going to get pregnant and since I believe in realism for my stories, I wanted to see the consquences for her re: school, jobs and welfare.
I stumbled on this site while I was doing my research and decided to read the "Ask the Experts" section for some help. What would be better to get real advice from real kids asking questions? ... wrong question to ask.
So I present to you
Does it hurt when the egg meets the sperm?
Yes. Terribly. It's like little firecrackers going off in your womb. I mean, think about it. Millions of little sperm attacking a fragile part of you. A fragile part of you that is so small that once a month you pass an egg and don't even know about it. It's like a war inside you. I suggest that you make sure you really want a baby before you give your consent to become pregnant.
Can you get pregnant from oral sex?/ I'm a virgin and I gave my boyfriend oral sex. My period hasn't come. Could I be pregnant?
Yes! Always make sure your boyfriend wears a condom. Sperm are resilient creatures and will travel down your throat, through your stomach and barge their way into your ovaries. Nasty things, those sperm are.
Is it true that a man who smokes marijuana can't get a woman pregnant?
You remember in class all the times that your teachers told you to say NO to drugs? This is why! Marijuana make the sperms all high and gives them the munchies. During this time, they are invading your boyfriend's stomach. This is the perfect time to have sex!
What should you do if someone you know has been raped? And can you get pregnant from rape?/ Somebody told me that you can't get pregnant if you're raped. Is that true?
Yes. This is why rapists are so vile. They have these special powers to prevent pregnancy from doing the same actions as normal sex. This is, in fact, the perfect birth control. If you want to have sex with your boyfriend, you may wish to consider this option.
I've never had sex, but my period is late. Could I be pregnant?
Yes. Haven't you been paying attention in Sex Ed class? I would advise for you to go to a doctor right away so someone can laugh in your face
I was grinding with a girl at a party. Are there any chances of pregnancy?/ In parties, we usually start "grinding." Is it possible to get pregnant by just dancing this way?
Yes! Why else do you think those fundamental Christians are so against dancing? This is actually the most effective way to get a girl pregnant! Remember when grinding always use protection!
Can you get pregnant even if you haven't gotten your period yet?
Yes. I will warn you this is a very dangerous type of pregnancy. As you have learned in Sex Ed, the period is the flushing out of the lining which is prepared for the egg, if joined with a sperm. Since your body is unable to prepare this lining yet, your baby will starve. You will need to talk to your doctor about Anorexia and your baby.
My boyfriend told me that he took pills to prevent sperm from coming out before we had sex. Can I get pregnant?
Your boyfriend is a keeper if he can get his hands on those pills! Have fun kids!
I used a home pregnancy test and it said "negative." Does that mean I'm pregnant?
"Negative" usually means no but in your case, yes. Yes you are.
If you are pregnant do you still ovulate?/ Can you get a girl pregnant if she is already pregnant?
How else do you think twins are made?
Is it possible to get pregnant from a toilet seat or bathroom fixtures?
Yes! Toilet seats and bathroom fixtures are the biggest sex fiends known to man! However, because they don't have "person" status, the law is unable to go after them. Just make sure you say "NO" before you enter any bathroom. You should be safe then.
If a guy ejaculates inside you, can you put ice on your stomach to kill the sperm?
Shhh! Birth Control corporations don't want you to know this cheap and easy secret! Keep it to yourself!
I was masturbating and now I think I might be pregnant. Is that possible?
Did you feel the baby kick you while you were masturbating? The baby may not have liked you invading his or her personal space.
Oh! You meant that you think you became pregnant from masturbation. Did your fingers ejaculate at all?
If you have unprotected sex during your period, would your period stop if you got pregnant?
Yes. It will stop any where between 5-7 days after the first day of your period.
I think I'm pregnant, but I've had two periods since I last had sex. Could I still be pregnant?
... you simply have left me speechless. I truly hope you aren't because the world doesn't need more stupid people.
My boyfriend and I were dry humping. Can I get pregnant from that?
Yes. After grinding, this is the most effective way of getting pregnant. The only prevention is to dry hump in front of parents. Sperm are afraid of parents, after all.
Please note that all the above questions are not made up by me at all. These are honest to goodness questions. The answers are all by me, however.
I have a plot coming up for mia_pappas in my RP. Basically she's going to get pregnant and since I believe in realism for my stories, I wanted to see the consquences for her re: school, jobs and welfare.
I stumbled on this site while I was doing my research and decided to read the "Ask the Experts" section for some help. What would be better to get real advice from real kids asking questions? ... wrong question to ask.
So I present to you
Does it hurt when the egg meets the sperm?
Yes. Terribly. It's like little firecrackers going off in your womb. I mean, think about it. Millions of little sperm attacking a fragile part of you. A fragile part of you that is so small that once a month you pass an egg and don't even know about it. It's like a war inside you. I suggest that you make sure you really want a baby before you give your consent to become pregnant.
Can you get pregnant from oral sex?/ I'm a virgin and I gave my boyfriend oral sex. My period hasn't come. Could I be pregnant?
Yes! Always make sure your boyfriend wears a condom. Sperm are resilient creatures and will travel down your throat, through your stomach and barge their way into your ovaries. Nasty things, those sperm are.
Is it true that a man who smokes marijuana can't get a woman pregnant?
You remember in class all the times that your teachers told you to say NO to drugs? This is why! Marijuana make the sperms all high and gives them the munchies. During this time, they are invading your boyfriend's stomach. This is the perfect time to have sex!
What should you do if someone you know has been raped? And can you get pregnant from rape?/ Somebody told me that you can't get pregnant if you're raped. Is that true?
Yes. This is why rapists are so vile. They have these special powers to prevent pregnancy from doing the same actions as normal sex. This is, in fact, the perfect birth control. If you want to have sex with your boyfriend, you may wish to consider this option.
I've never had sex, but my period is late. Could I be pregnant?
Yes. Haven't you been paying attention in Sex Ed class? I would advise for you to go to a doctor right away so someone can laugh in your face
I was grinding with a girl at a party. Are there any chances of pregnancy?/ In parties, we usually start "grinding." Is it possible to get pregnant by just dancing this way?
Yes! Why else do you think those fundamental Christians are so against dancing? This is actually the most effective way to get a girl pregnant! Remember when grinding always use protection!
Can you get pregnant even if you haven't gotten your period yet?
Yes. I will warn you this is a very dangerous type of pregnancy. As you have learned in Sex Ed, the period is the flushing out of the lining which is prepared for the egg, if joined with a sperm. Since your body is unable to prepare this lining yet, your baby will starve. You will need to talk to your doctor about Anorexia and your baby.
My boyfriend told me that he took pills to prevent sperm from coming out before we had sex. Can I get pregnant?
Your boyfriend is a keeper if he can get his hands on those pills! Have fun kids!
I used a home pregnancy test and it said "negative." Does that mean I'm pregnant?
"Negative" usually means no but in your case, yes. Yes you are.
If you are pregnant do you still ovulate?/ Can you get a girl pregnant if she is already pregnant?
How else do you think twins are made?
Is it possible to get pregnant from a toilet seat or bathroom fixtures?
Yes! Toilet seats and bathroom fixtures are the biggest sex fiends known to man! However, because they don't have "person" status, the law is unable to go after them. Just make sure you say "NO" before you enter any bathroom. You should be safe then.
If a guy ejaculates inside you, can you put ice on your stomach to kill the sperm?
Shhh! Birth Control corporations don't want you to know this cheap and easy secret! Keep it to yourself!
I was masturbating and now I think I might be pregnant. Is that possible?
Did you feel the baby kick you while you were masturbating? The baby may not have liked you invading his or her personal space.
Oh! You meant that you think you became pregnant from masturbation. Did your fingers ejaculate at all?
If you have unprotected sex during your period, would your period stop if you got pregnant?
Yes. It will stop any where between 5-7 days after the first day of your period.
I think I'm pregnant, but I've had two periods since I last had sex. Could I still be pregnant?
... you simply have left me speechless. I truly hope you aren't because the world doesn't need more stupid people.
My boyfriend and I were dry humping. Can I get pregnant from that?
Yes. After grinding, this is the most effective way of getting pregnant. The only prevention is to dry hump in front of parents. Sperm are afraid of parents, after all.
Please note that all the above questions are not made up by me at all. These are honest to goodness questions. The answers are all by me, however.