(no subject)
Aw, poor neglected little LiveJournal. I kinda miss you. You were the first one I had.. and I just abandonded you. ::shakes head:: so sad.
Ok, so I'm talking to a computer program. Maybe that's not quite a good sign... Oh well, what can ya do about it?
Anyways, I've been goin through a phase where I remember how things used to be and all that..and realize how much I've changed.. it makes me sad how much I miss the past..I think I'm actually a better person now and I know it has to be this way..but I miss the old times sooo much you don't even know.. I hate the recent decisions I've made and hate how I've been acting and thinking and I'm just so unhappy with who I have come to be.. but I'm learnign and growing, and no one said it would be easy, and I new that it wouldn't, but I just have this great longing to go back to the past and back to how things used to be and you know I think I would if it wasn't for the people I've met and now care about..it wouldn't be fair for me to just disappear and hide because they'd be upset and one of the things I hate most about my recent actions is that they've hurt people so I know I can't hurt them more but I'm so trapped right now what can I do? I ought to do what's best for me, I'm the only one I'll always have unconditionally in all honesty, but this world would not survive if everyone just did what they wanted without considering others' feelings.. So it seems as though I have come to an impass. No one knows the turh about how I feel anymore, I don't tell anyone the whole truth.. and I hate how things have turned out and it's not even the end yet..and perhaps I would wish it was the end liek some people but I don't because I don't want it to end in such a terrible way and leave things so fucked up as they are right now. I miss talkign to John, he always gave me good insight into things, but I kow he's busy and so I don't expect him to take time away for me.. I haven't talked to him in a while and when i did talk to him it wasn't even for that long but the talks were actually about something, and so of course I remember them and cherish them. And I miss talking to Kent too, that was always a true pleasure, but I know he is busy as well, and I hope you're all doing ok, just know that I miss you and feel lost without you. It's scary how much I've depended on other people in my life..you don't realize it til it's gone, as they always say. But yes. So, you can go ahead and some this entry up in "I miss my past." What else is new?
Ok, so I'm talking to a computer program. Maybe that's not quite a good sign... Oh well, what can ya do about it?
Anyways, I've been goin through a phase where I remember how things used to be and all that..and realize how much I've changed.. it makes me sad how much I miss the past..I think I'm actually a better person now and I know it has to be this way..but I miss the old times sooo much you don't even know.. I hate the recent decisions I've made and hate how I've been acting and thinking and I'm just so unhappy with who I have come to be.. but I'm learnign and growing, and no one said it would be easy, and I new that it wouldn't, but I just have this great longing to go back to the past and back to how things used to be and you know I think I would if it wasn't for the people I've met and now care about..it wouldn't be fair for me to just disappear and hide because they'd be upset and one of the things I hate most about my recent actions is that they've hurt people so I know I can't hurt them more but I'm so trapped right now what can I do? I ought to do what's best for me, I'm the only one I'll always have unconditionally in all honesty, but this world would not survive if everyone just did what they wanted without considering others' feelings.. So it seems as though I have come to an impass. No one knows the turh about how I feel anymore, I don't tell anyone the whole truth.. and I hate how things have turned out and it's not even the end yet..and perhaps I would wish it was the end liek some people but I don't because I don't want it to end in such a terrible way and leave things so fucked up as they are right now. I miss talkign to John, he always gave me good insight into things, but I kow he's busy and so I don't expect him to take time away for me.. I haven't talked to him in a while and when i did talk to him it wasn't even for that long but the talks were actually about something, and so of course I remember them and cherish them. And I miss talking to Kent too, that was always a true pleasure, but I know he is busy as well, and I hope you're all doing ok, just know that I miss you and feel lost without you. It's scary how much I've depended on other people in my life..you don't realize it til it's gone, as they always say. But yes. So, you can go ahead and some this entry up in "I miss my past." What else is new?