Guys and Dolls application
PLAYER
[journal] shadows_in_mind
[age] 30
[previous characters Deidara
[character journal] --
CHARACTER
[series] Naruto
[full name] Sai
[age] 17 canonically, I'm aging him up to 19.
[gender] Male
[canon point] Before the war, about to march in.
[reference] Narutopedia: Sai
[personality]
"You say people change... And here I am. But there are also things that don't change - bonds, I want to see what they're really made of."
Sai is a work in progress. He was brought up to be a weapon, a shield that guards Konoha, the roots the village stands on. He doesn't have a name, he doesn't have a personality, he doesn't have a life of his own. However, he is learning again, everything from scratch.
As one of the ANBU Root, he was taught consistently to suppress his own personality, his emotions, his desires and dislikes. And he did so very diligently, disposed himself of any weakness that might come in his way of acting as a tool for the Root's leader, Danzo. He is used to thinking himself as nothing, just a white canvas on which he paints what he finds necessary in each situation, emotions, thoughts, attitudes - he isn't exactly good in fabricating those, but sufficiently skilled. The tool-mentality went as far as Danzo placing a cursed seal on the tongue of every Root shinobi, so that if they'd ever speak of Root or Danzo, they'd become completely paralysed.
However, during his first mission with Team 7, he discovers that not all emotions are a hindrance and remembers his own late 'brother', with whom he shared much more than just a professional relationship. Naruto's bond with Sasuke becomes a corner stone of his revelation, allowing him to observe the sheer volume of passion that can be poured into friendship, and how that can become strength as well as it can be a weakness. Ever since he has been slowly deciphering human interaction and emotions, learning from books as well as the other younger shinobi.
It would be an overstatement to say he understands now how a social network functions; he has the theory, several subjective views borrowed from haphazard mentors, but he has no intuition. That, after all, has to be learned by experience, which he doesn't have. On one hand, he is a perfect soldier, impersonal, calm, obedient, sharp and tireless. And on the other hand he is a confused young man with no real experience of normal life. His interaction with others is mostly based on trial by error, testing, nudging, deciphering one detail at a time. However, as he might fault at experience, he is extremely observant, used to watching and waiting, and he will take a note of small nuances and changes. Given that, to learn more, he must experience, which makes him very prone to random interaction of all kind, whether it'd be that of pleasantries or bold questions.
It is hard to say what he finds personally pleasing or displeasing, as he is barely just knitting together the first layer of his personality. He is capable of complex emotions such as embarrassment, guilt and even spite. However, he isn't quite certain why he is feeling what he does at the time. He is very easily subjected to influence by others, and his personality is bound to match his company. But despite his curiosity and willingness for change, some things will remain the same, such as his loyalty for Konoha and his suicide mentality towards the village and its people. He will serve and protect, whatever the cost. And he will not shy away from even the hard choices; one person's happiness means very little when regarding the health and survival of a whole village. It should also go without saying that his moral compass is, the least to say, fucked. He was raised to be an assassin, devoid of all emotion and sympathy. He will not feel what is right or wrong. He might know how others prefer to think, but he just doesn't rock the same kind of equipment others do regarding morality, justice and social standards.
His greatest single asset probably would be his tireless focus and sharp observational skills. He is very good at prioritizing and doesn't waver when he makes up his mind, striving almost single mindedly for whatever goal he has set as his first priority. Being trained first and foremost as a soldier, he is very effective when he sets his mind to take on a mission.
Like any child who has got to manage on their own, he is very persistent, and doesn't give up before it's plainly clear that he can't succeed in something he has set out to do. He's independent, used to work on his own before Team 7. He isn't shy or easily embarrassed to a point where that would become an obstacle. In fact, he is more prone to calmly state something outrageously bold and then watch with a slight smile as others sputter and groan and laugh at him. He might have been clueless in the beginning, but as time goes by and he proves to be more and more thoughtful and surprisingly insightful, it makes you wonder if it's just his way of putting people at ease around him.
He might lack that "gut feeling" about people, might learn interaction from a book, not know how to name a feeling even when he is experiencing it, but he isn't afraid to speak his mind when he thinks something needs to be said. He can be considerate but also bluntly honest when the situation calls for it. Adaptable and rational, he knows what people are capable of and doesn't have any illusions about justice or altruism, but he also knows that he has friends and colleagues he can trust.
In introspection, his biggest weakness goes hand-in-hand with his greatest strength. He might have had excessive training, might have been very goal oriented and sharply capable of dissecting facts out of bigger concepts, his artistic skills might be very good, but he lacks the passion to reach over his own limitations. He doesn't push himself hard to learn new techniques, much like other characters do. If he had been doing that, he'd probably be on a completely different power level.
However, he shows a reawakening interest towards social skills, which, granted, are one of his biggest weaknesses. He doesn't intuitively understand other people, and finds it hard to sympathise with complicated emotions. His lack of understanding often leads to awkward situations and may cause a great deal of tension, especially when it comes to questions of morality and duty.
His tool-mentality can be a strength as well, but mostly it proves to be a drawback for him personally. He still considers himself to be a weapon for Konoha to use, and it's a mentality that is hard to lose, even if he sees merit in looking beyond it. It's in his spine and in difficult situations he will return to it as a default.
"Sai is the name I was given for this mission... I'm nobody. I am a tool for Lord Danzō. I don't exist."
[orientation] Unknown
[appearance] No chances. :3
[wish] Annihilation of all bijuu without harming their hosts.
[requested house] Satouzuke or Nadeshiko
[misc notes]
SAMPLES
[sample 1#] [ video post ]
[ It starts with a slight rattle before focusing on a young man smiling serenely in a dark yukata. He seems to belong to the grainy black and white film, like a character of a noir movie, black ink spilled on white canvas, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin, just a hint of a bruise rising up along his neck and side of his face. (He fell while trying to escape.)
He tilts his head fractionally, just so, eyes curving into pleased crescent moons. ]
Good evening Ukiyo, [ he starts softly, hands folded onto his lap, calm like a doll, proper, sitting on his heels, half in a spot where sun spills in from an open window, shadows slowly crawling over him. ]
I've been told to use this communication device to contact the rest of the captives-- [ A small, discreet cough can be heard behind the Fansuwoth. ] --fellow workers, and-- [ he continues without a hitch, a hand rising to his cheek as if to rub the side of his nose, and for those who are trained to notice, giving out hand signals, discreetly, requesting back up. ] --socialize so I wouldn't feel myself lonely.
That would be such a shame, don't you think?
[ His smile curves a bit deeper, if not any less fabricated, and he bows down, deeply, until anyone can see the view on the street outside his house from an open balcony door. Recognize it? Good, because it'll be blocked in the next moment with this young man's sweetly smiling face again. ]
I'm called Sai. I'm pleased to meet you all. I'm sure we can soon become friends, sharing the same kind of... situation should bring us closer. [ He is not talking about friendship, but are you capable of reading between the lines? ]
Ah... [ And just as abruptly as it started, it ends, with a slight nod and a quiet: ] Good night.
[sample 2#] [ Porn drabble ]
Sex is surprisingly messy. Sai's idea of copulation is very clinical, based on books and observations of wildlife. Animals are very straightforward with it and books failed to mention the slick feeling over his hips, her wetness spreading over his skin like liquid heat, her sweat upon his tongue, her saliva like a second skin over him. Books failed to mention how the pleasure is almost an ache at the base of his spine, the way her low moan makes him tremble, grab her hips harder and slam her against the wall.
It takes maneuvering, and he slips out of her, awkwardly pressing his fingerprints onto her skin as he holds her up, slipping wetly between her folds, and he can feel her shudder against his pelvis, her legs constricting around his hips.
It is messy and not at all like in books, the clinical and not. It feels more than just inserting a body part into another person, and less than the raptured lust that was described in loving detail in one of those books Kakashi tends to read.
No, it's very different. A staccato of awkward pauses and erratic breath washing damply against her collarbone, hauling her higher, slipping a hand between them to guide himself. A mindless chase of an elusive completion, an endless restructure, building the release and losing his grip on it when the rhythm falters. It's hard to think, hard to form coherent chains of logical thoughts, he is paused with oh that feels good and so slick, more...
Sex is not what Sai expected. But he finds it hard to really care when he is so close...
[journal] shadows_in_mind
[age] 30
[previous characters Deidara
[character journal] --
CHARACTER
[series] Naruto
[full name] Sai
[age] 17 canonically, I'm aging him up to 19.
[gender] Male
[canon point] Before the war, about to march in.
[reference] Narutopedia: Sai
[personality]
"You say people change... And here I am. But there are also things that don't change - bonds, I want to see what they're really made of."
Sai is a work in progress. He was brought up to be a weapon, a shield that guards Konoha, the roots the village stands on. He doesn't have a name, he doesn't have a personality, he doesn't have a life of his own. However, he is learning again, everything from scratch.
As one of the ANBU Root, he was taught consistently to suppress his own personality, his emotions, his desires and dislikes. And he did so very diligently, disposed himself of any weakness that might come in his way of acting as a tool for the Root's leader, Danzo. He is used to thinking himself as nothing, just a white canvas on which he paints what he finds necessary in each situation, emotions, thoughts, attitudes - he isn't exactly good in fabricating those, but sufficiently skilled. The tool-mentality went as far as Danzo placing a cursed seal on the tongue of every Root shinobi, so that if they'd ever speak of Root or Danzo, they'd become completely paralysed.
However, during his first mission with Team 7, he discovers that not all emotions are a hindrance and remembers his own late 'brother', with whom he shared much more than just a professional relationship. Naruto's bond with Sasuke becomes a corner stone of his revelation, allowing him to observe the sheer volume of passion that can be poured into friendship, and how that can become strength as well as it can be a weakness. Ever since he has been slowly deciphering human interaction and emotions, learning from books as well as the other younger shinobi.
It would be an overstatement to say he understands now how a social network functions; he has the theory, several subjective views borrowed from haphazard mentors, but he has no intuition. That, after all, has to be learned by experience, which he doesn't have. On one hand, he is a perfect soldier, impersonal, calm, obedient, sharp and tireless. And on the other hand he is a confused young man with no real experience of normal life. His interaction with others is mostly based on trial by error, testing, nudging, deciphering one detail at a time. However, as he might fault at experience, he is extremely observant, used to watching and waiting, and he will take a note of small nuances and changes. Given that, to learn more, he must experience, which makes him very prone to random interaction of all kind, whether it'd be that of pleasantries or bold questions.
It is hard to say what he finds personally pleasing or displeasing, as he is barely just knitting together the first layer of his personality. He is capable of complex emotions such as embarrassment, guilt and even spite. However, he isn't quite certain why he is feeling what he does at the time. He is very easily subjected to influence by others, and his personality is bound to match his company. But despite his curiosity and willingness for change, some things will remain the same, such as his loyalty for Konoha and his suicide mentality towards the village and its people. He will serve and protect, whatever the cost. And he will not shy away from even the hard choices; one person's happiness means very little when regarding the health and survival of a whole village. It should also go without saying that his moral compass is, the least to say, fucked. He was raised to be an assassin, devoid of all emotion and sympathy. He will not feel what is right or wrong. He might know how others prefer to think, but he just doesn't rock the same kind of equipment others do regarding morality, justice and social standards.
His greatest single asset probably would be his tireless focus and sharp observational skills. He is very good at prioritizing and doesn't waver when he makes up his mind, striving almost single mindedly for whatever goal he has set as his first priority. Being trained first and foremost as a soldier, he is very effective when he sets his mind to take on a mission.
Like any child who has got to manage on their own, he is very persistent, and doesn't give up before it's plainly clear that he can't succeed in something he has set out to do. He's independent, used to work on his own before Team 7. He isn't shy or easily embarrassed to a point where that would become an obstacle. In fact, he is more prone to calmly state something outrageously bold and then watch with a slight smile as others sputter and groan and laugh at him. He might have been clueless in the beginning, but as time goes by and he proves to be more and more thoughtful and surprisingly insightful, it makes you wonder if it's just his way of putting people at ease around him.
He might lack that "gut feeling" about people, might learn interaction from a book, not know how to name a feeling even when he is experiencing it, but he isn't afraid to speak his mind when he thinks something needs to be said. He can be considerate but also bluntly honest when the situation calls for it. Adaptable and rational, he knows what people are capable of and doesn't have any illusions about justice or altruism, but he also knows that he has friends and colleagues he can trust.
In introspection, his biggest weakness goes hand-in-hand with his greatest strength. He might have had excessive training, might have been very goal oriented and sharply capable of dissecting facts out of bigger concepts, his artistic skills might be very good, but he lacks the passion to reach over his own limitations. He doesn't push himself hard to learn new techniques, much like other characters do. If he had been doing that, he'd probably be on a completely different power level.
However, he shows a reawakening interest towards social skills, which, granted, are one of his biggest weaknesses. He doesn't intuitively understand other people, and finds it hard to sympathise with complicated emotions. His lack of understanding often leads to awkward situations and may cause a great deal of tension, especially when it comes to questions of morality and duty.
His tool-mentality can be a strength as well, but mostly it proves to be a drawback for him personally. He still considers himself to be a weapon for Konoha to use, and it's a mentality that is hard to lose, even if he sees merit in looking beyond it. It's in his spine and in difficult situations he will return to it as a default.
"Sai is the name I was given for this mission... I'm nobody. I am a tool for Lord Danzō. I don't exist."
[orientation] Unknown
[appearance] No chances. :3
[wish] Annihilation of all bijuu without harming their hosts.
[requested house] Satouzuke or Nadeshiko
[misc notes]
SAMPLES
[sample 1#] [ video post ]
[ It starts with a slight rattle before focusing on a young man smiling serenely in a dark yukata. He seems to belong to the grainy black and white film, like a character of a noir movie, black ink spilled on white canvas, dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin, just a hint of a bruise rising up along his neck and side of his face. (He fell while trying to escape.)
He tilts his head fractionally, just so, eyes curving into pleased crescent moons. ]
Good evening Ukiyo, [ he starts softly, hands folded onto his lap, calm like a doll, proper, sitting on his heels, half in a spot where sun spills in from an open window, shadows slowly crawling over him. ]
I've been told to use this communication device to contact the rest of the captives-- [ A small, discreet cough can be heard behind the Fansuwoth. ] --fellow workers, and-- [ he continues without a hitch, a hand rising to his cheek as if to rub the side of his nose, and for those who are trained to notice, giving out hand signals, discreetly, requesting back up. ] --socialize so I wouldn't feel myself lonely.
That would be such a shame, don't you think?
[ His smile curves a bit deeper, if not any less fabricated, and he bows down, deeply, until anyone can see the view on the street outside his house from an open balcony door. Recognize it? Good, because it'll be blocked in the next moment with this young man's sweetly smiling face again. ]
I'm called Sai. I'm pleased to meet you all. I'm sure we can soon become friends, sharing the same kind of... situation should bring us closer. [ He is not talking about friendship, but are you capable of reading between the lines? ]
Ah... [ And just as abruptly as it started, it ends, with a slight nod and a quiet: ] Good night.
[sample 2#] [ Porn drabble ]
Sex is surprisingly messy. Sai's idea of copulation is very clinical, based on books and observations of wildlife. Animals are very straightforward with it and books failed to mention the slick feeling over his hips, her wetness spreading over his skin like liquid heat, her sweat upon his tongue, her saliva like a second skin over him. Books failed to mention how the pleasure is almost an ache at the base of his spine, the way her low moan makes him tremble, grab her hips harder and slam her against the wall.
It takes maneuvering, and he slips out of her, awkwardly pressing his fingerprints onto her skin as he holds her up, slipping wetly between her folds, and he can feel her shudder against his pelvis, her legs constricting around his hips.
It is messy and not at all like in books, the clinical and not. It feels more than just inserting a body part into another person, and less than the raptured lust that was described in loving detail in one of those books Kakashi tends to read.
No, it's very different. A staccato of awkward pauses and erratic breath washing damply against her collarbone, hauling her higher, slipping a hand between them to guide himself. A mindless chase of an elusive completion, an endless restructure, building the release and losing his grip on it when the rhythm falters. It's hard to think, hard to form coherent chains of logical thoughts, he is paused with oh that feels good and so slick, more...
Sex is not what Sai expected. But he finds it hard to really care when he is so close...