Next Chapter
Wow, it's been about 7 years since my last update. I like to keep this going as record of me and all the ways things change in time.
I'm happily married. Living in a safe and stable home with my beautiful and amazing wife Devon. I have a dog and a cat, Bree and Conor. We are expecting our first child in about 3 weeks. I am going to be a father of a wonderful baby boy. We have the full support of our families and our friends. I am nervous and excited.
I've spent the last year or so in therapy. My therapist diagnosed me with depression and anger. She has helped me develop tools and processes to help me manage and overcome both. I still struggle. I have had bad days, but over all, I feel better. I have learned to be kinder to myself. I also let Devon in more so she can support me when I need it. Its ok to not be ok and to seek professional help. Don't give up.
Nick reached out to me this year and we were able to reconnect and I was able to apologize. That took so much grief and misery off my plate. That had literally been a daily struggle for years. He's doing really well for himself and his family, I am glad for them.
I've decided to give up on video games. I spent so much time using them as an escape, like a drug, that I now feel like I wasted that time. Although others would disagree. I definitely wish I had spent more of my youth with my family. I wish I had spent more time learning. But it's all part of my story and you can't go back so no point living in the woulda, coulda, shoulda's.
I spend a lot more time in the sunlight and in nature now. I found so much peace there. I love hiking with Bree and its one of the things I am excited to share with my son. One day I would love to complete the Appalachian Trail, from Maine to Georgia. I also want to hike the peaks of Mt Washington again, this time without passing out and being carried.
I'm looking forward to being a father. I have so much I hope to teach my son. Most of all I hope I can help him avoid the things that held me back the most. I didn't have a hard childhood, most of what was difficult was self-induced. Be confident, be proud, work hard, appreciate family and the small things. The world itself may be scarier now than ever before, but there are still reasons to have hope. Surround yourself with the things that brighten your world.