together on the factory floor
shh....I'm writing in my livejournal
sitting here eating fruit salad, 700 words of essay written, about half way. but I should tell myself not to worry because I've got a whole week, another sunday included to get it done. Still I am rather appauled at myself, 1 week to go and I've barely read my source books (opened for the first time today) and I'm not planning it properly! I should be getting all my ideas together first, then writing them down together, comparing and contrasting them, rather than listing them as I research them. infuriating! This is not my best work. But I want to improve. grr sometimes I am so retarded, how did i ever get into university. i have a bad attitude.
is it bad that i have to look in my diary to remember what I did over the last few days? alcohol has trully fucked with my mind. I don't think I'll be drinking tonight. that said, it is a sunday so I probably wouldn't have anyway. probably. maybe.
I went to the doctors this week. he asked me if I had dark thoughts. I said no. it was true as well. Sometimes it seems like they're trying to catch me out, get me to say something weird so they can tick the crazy box. I'm finejustfine. But I guess a lot of people find it hard to bring things up so they have to give them lots of opportunities, ask them about a whole range of problems. I don't need or deserve this kind of attention, I know others in far greater need and I feel selfish for using up NHS time. it's not like I even asked for an appointment.
Spent a lot of time hiding away revising for my exam. i think it went ok actually. And then I gave a presentation on the spleen.
do YOU know about your spleen? I bet not. not many people do. so i can tell you
it filters out old rubbish blood cells and attacks yuckie pathogens in the blood. It's easily ruptured, then they cut it out or you DIE. really fast. from blood loss, its not an essential organ. 10% of the population have accesory spleens. You might have one and never know. its the same as a spleen, just a mini extra one.
here's a picture of a feret with a really big spleen
all right boys and girls? I'll shut up now. Last week we looked at kidneys, in our practical tomorrow we get to see (quote dr Jenny) 'lots of big horse willies'. Yes, this class is compulsory.
Claire has got really into anatomy at the mo, she bourght a heart from the butchers, dissected it and photographed it. She may have been spending a little too much time around me. Picking up the photos from the photoshop was the funniest part.
I went to go see some films made by the uni film making soc. They were actually really impressive. I went with ricky and we had fun teasing eachother, insulting eachother, drinking and beating eachother up. He particularly enjoyed calling me a wench and I enjoyed hitting him over the head with my rolled up copy of the student newspaper. He's always makign suggestive comments at me, which make me laugh. I used to like him. Then I found Claire and sorta forgot about him. So he decided he liked me and promptly asked me out. bad timing or what. Well, I wanted us to keep in touch as I like him, he's funny, so we have continued to tease eachother to this day. That doesn't stop him making offers to take part in my anatomy coursework.....yeahyeahyouwish
Alex is suspicious of him. as he is a bit of all my male friends. honestly, is it possible for me to have male friends without there being anything more? maybe this is why most of my male friends are gay, it alows me to be more open I guess. I like guys, they're so much more laid back and unpretentious. not to mention the lack of bitching (jo excluded).
Sorry to rant but Hughie dropped out on me for Roskilde! yeah, thanks for letting me know afterI got my ticket!! grrrr I know I shouldn't be angry with him but I kinda am a bit. Cos I really wanted to go with him too. Oh my he is so unreliable. He also has 3 of my favourite CDs and has repeatedly promised and failed to take me to the zoo. I told Claire and she said she'd take me. I think she means it too.....<3
Yeah yeah I did something naughty on friday and I ditched all my friends to go out with Claire. Which is one of the worst things you can do....well, it wasn't like I was abandoning any of them on their own and none of them were going to anything huge that meant a lot to them, not like i missed one of their birthdays or the like. I had 4 different plans for the evening and I wanted to go to them all. But I think some of them, like the psycho-soc house party, i felt I should go to more under obligation and to appear sociable and network rather than actually believing I'd had a good time. I sat down in the kitchen with rob. in my dressing gown we drank tea and discussed philosophy and the connection between beliefs and desires. I explained to him my different plans and he said 'who do you want to see?' and I said Claire. it made me think that sometimes maybe you just have to do something for yourself. is that selfish? So many things i go to I'm going to support other people, to keep in touch with people, to show commitment, which is silly cos if I think of the number of times that people drop out on me or fail to show up to places I've invited them, they obviously don't feel the same obligation. I think I went off on a tangent there. please ignore.
Well, we went to this house party. I knew a bunch of claire's friends, they're really open and sociable, I find them really easy to get on with and they seem to treat me as another friend rather as some strange outsider. I drank beer through a funnel, which impressed a small bunch of spectators in the kitchen. Somewhere throughout the course of the night Claire and I managed to drink an entire bottle of malibu, I pciked up someone's bag thinking it was a toy...then somehow managed to take it with me KLEPTO! I also ended up with some fruit, a screw driver, a bowler hat and a pink scarf. i should not be left unattended.
We sang and danced and poked a bird in a cage.
We skipped home. well, to claire's home, and decided that work the next day just wasn't practical. While she was gone I took a picture from her pink covers so i remembered what it was like to lie there after I'd gone. everything's so pretty and perfect. Iwannalielikethisforeveruntiltheskyfallsdownonme. I could be really sentimental here but it would be really boring. yeah, I'm happy. it's wonderful. I get to see her tonight. can't wait.
On saturday I felt dead. dehydrated. exhausted. trudging up the hill to bed. I slept a couple of hours then it was time to pick up sam and start the whole thing again. I met sam in the keller around xmas. when i say met I should really have said pulled. but we're friends now. bizarre how that worked out. but we kept in touch as friends. Reflecting on our disastarous relationship histories we set a bet as to who could 'fuck it up first' with current beaus. seriously, I only made that bet because I was sure I'd lose, it was to make him feel a bit better.
to quote court 'you're still going out with her?? I figured you'd just get tired of her really quickly'
darren - 'she hasn't dumped you yet?'
So I won a nice big bottle of smirnoff. But I'm not gonna be mean about it, we threw a little party to celebrate, he came over, rosie, jo, jo's new boyfriend, laura, whatserhace that jewishfrenchamerican girl, james and organ jo. rather more people than I'd been expecting. so we drank the vodka. and giggled. there was once more much mention of GAIDS (gaids pie anyone?, gaids casserole, gaids in the hole...?). Then we all heading lout the opening party of our local queer clubby.
we had to queue to get in!!! and you could barely move. not what I'm used to at all. so so packed. you'd almost think it was a straight club! anyone who was anyone on the gay scene was there., a lot of familiar faces. it was fun. Sam was really drunk, we danced a lot. I did worry a lil that he might be starting to get a bit flirty with me, especially in front of claire. poor drunken fool. he then went off and pulled his (to quote) 'runty friend' silly boy. I couldn't stay long sadly, which was a shame cos I wanted to stay more with claire and claire and all the crew. had a fight with claire (prettyandhigh)'s bf over which claire was better. I don't think it was a good idea for me to suggest they battled it out. Not that my claire isn't tough but she isn't a national rugby player. or much taller than 5,5.
Today I woke up well rested and tried to get things sorted. Did my hall's recycling. lazy bastards. Some of the kitchens have empty recycling bins, i think it may be overly optimistic to assume they emptied them themselves. It's funny seeing the different rubbish people have. A-fry has loads of obscure beer bottle and port. E-fry has its lambrini, the calendar girls have a lot fo shredded paper and G-unit is full of tinned curry/beans/soup/spagetti. which they don't rinse out. yuckityyuck. but I have now been round the entire hall and picked up the lot of it and disposed of it approprately.
I had to do something difficult today too. There are 2 members of teh catering/cleanign staff here who are eastern european i think, they don't speak much english and Rob says they're quite lonely and depressed here. They're married and mostly keep to themselves. i heard that kate went into hospital, and I wanted to go ask pete is she was ok, how she was doing. it was kinda hard to have a conversation with him as he was quite reserved and kinda gave the impression he had no idea what i was talking about for a while. but I felt glad to have done it. it must be diffiult, being that isolated.
Bumping into someone I hadn't seen in ages they exclaimed 'oh its you, clam-shell girl' and made motions of rubbing their imaginary breasts. lovely.
oh my I just wrote a fucking boring entry full of spelling mistakes. I'm losing my touch...what touch? yeah.
sitting here eating fruit salad, 700 words of essay written, about half way. but I should tell myself not to worry because I've got a whole week, another sunday included to get it done. Still I am rather appauled at myself, 1 week to go and I've barely read my source books (opened for the first time today) and I'm not planning it properly! I should be getting all my ideas together first, then writing them down together, comparing and contrasting them, rather than listing them as I research them. infuriating! This is not my best work. But I want to improve. grr sometimes I am so retarded, how did i ever get into university. i have a bad attitude.
is it bad that i have to look in my diary to remember what I did over the last few days? alcohol has trully fucked with my mind. I don't think I'll be drinking tonight. that said, it is a sunday so I probably wouldn't have anyway. probably. maybe.
I went to the doctors this week. he asked me if I had dark thoughts. I said no. it was true as well. Sometimes it seems like they're trying to catch me out, get me to say something weird so they can tick the crazy box. I'm finejustfine. But I guess a lot of people find it hard to bring things up so they have to give them lots of opportunities, ask them about a whole range of problems. I don't need or deserve this kind of attention, I know others in far greater need and I feel selfish for using up NHS time. it's not like I even asked for an appointment.
Spent a lot of time hiding away revising for my exam. i think it went ok actually. And then I gave a presentation on the spleen.
do YOU know about your spleen? I bet not. not many people do. so i can tell you
it filters out old rubbish blood cells and attacks yuckie pathogens in the blood. It's easily ruptured, then they cut it out or you DIE. really fast. from blood loss, its not an essential organ. 10% of the population have accesory spleens. You might have one and never know. its the same as a spleen, just a mini extra one.
here's a picture of a feret with a really big spleen
all right boys and girls? I'll shut up now. Last week we looked at kidneys, in our practical tomorrow we get to see (quote dr Jenny) 'lots of big horse willies'. Yes, this class is compulsory.
Claire has got really into anatomy at the mo, she bourght a heart from the butchers, dissected it and photographed it. She may have been spending a little too much time around me. Picking up the photos from the photoshop was the funniest part.
I went to go see some films made by the uni film making soc. They were actually really impressive. I went with ricky and we had fun teasing eachother, insulting eachother, drinking and beating eachother up. He particularly enjoyed calling me a wench and I enjoyed hitting him over the head with my rolled up copy of the student newspaper. He's always makign suggestive comments at me, which make me laugh. I used to like him. Then I found Claire and sorta forgot about him. So he decided he liked me and promptly asked me out. bad timing or what. Well, I wanted us to keep in touch as I like him, he's funny, so we have continued to tease eachother to this day. That doesn't stop him making offers to take part in my anatomy coursework.....yeahyeahyouwish
Alex is suspicious of him. as he is a bit of all my male friends. honestly, is it possible for me to have male friends without there being anything more? maybe this is why most of my male friends are gay, it alows me to be more open I guess. I like guys, they're so much more laid back and unpretentious. not to mention the lack of bitching (jo excluded).
Sorry to rant but Hughie dropped out on me for Roskilde! yeah, thanks for letting me know afterI got my ticket!! grrrr I know I shouldn't be angry with him but I kinda am a bit. Cos I really wanted to go with him too. Oh my he is so unreliable. He also has 3 of my favourite CDs and has repeatedly promised and failed to take me to the zoo. I told Claire and she said she'd take me. I think she means it too.....<3
Yeah yeah I did something naughty on friday and I ditched all my friends to go out with Claire. Which is one of the worst things you can do....well, it wasn't like I was abandoning any of them on their own and none of them were going to anything huge that meant a lot to them, not like i missed one of their birthdays or the like. I had 4 different plans for the evening and I wanted to go to them all. But I think some of them, like the psycho-soc house party, i felt I should go to more under obligation and to appear sociable and network rather than actually believing I'd had a good time. I sat down in the kitchen with rob. in my dressing gown we drank tea and discussed philosophy and the connection between beliefs and desires. I explained to him my different plans and he said 'who do you want to see?' and I said Claire. it made me think that sometimes maybe you just have to do something for yourself. is that selfish? So many things i go to I'm going to support other people, to keep in touch with people, to show commitment, which is silly cos if I think of the number of times that people drop out on me or fail to show up to places I've invited them, they obviously don't feel the same obligation. I think I went off on a tangent there. please ignore.
Well, we went to this house party. I knew a bunch of claire's friends, they're really open and sociable, I find them really easy to get on with and they seem to treat me as another friend rather as some strange outsider. I drank beer through a funnel, which impressed a small bunch of spectators in the kitchen. Somewhere throughout the course of the night Claire and I managed to drink an entire bottle of malibu, I pciked up someone's bag thinking it was a toy...then somehow managed to take it with me KLEPTO! I also ended up with some fruit, a screw driver, a bowler hat and a pink scarf. i should not be left unattended.
We sang and danced and poked a bird in a cage.
We skipped home. well, to claire's home, and decided that work the next day just wasn't practical. While she was gone I took a picture from her pink covers so i remembered what it was like to lie there after I'd gone. everything's so pretty and perfect. Iwannalielikethisforeveruntiltheskyfallsdownonme. I could be really sentimental here but it would be really boring. yeah, I'm happy. it's wonderful. I get to see her tonight. can't wait.
On saturday I felt dead. dehydrated. exhausted. trudging up the hill to bed. I slept a couple of hours then it was time to pick up sam and start the whole thing again. I met sam in the keller around xmas. when i say met I should really have said pulled. but we're friends now. bizarre how that worked out. but we kept in touch as friends. Reflecting on our disastarous relationship histories we set a bet as to who could 'fuck it up first' with current beaus. seriously, I only made that bet because I was sure I'd lose, it was to make him feel a bit better.
to quote court 'you're still going out with her?? I figured you'd just get tired of her really quickly'
darren - 'she hasn't dumped you yet?'
So I won a nice big bottle of smirnoff. But I'm not gonna be mean about it, we threw a little party to celebrate, he came over, rosie, jo, jo's new boyfriend, laura, whatserhace that jewishfrenchamerican girl, james and organ jo. rather more people than I'd been expecting. so we drank the vodka. and giggled. there was once more much mention of GAIDS (gaids pie anyone?, gaids casserole, gaids in the hole...?). Then we all heading lout the opening party of our local queer clubby.
we had to queue to get in!!! and you could barely move. not what I'm used to at all. so so packed. you'd almost think it was a straight club! anyone who was anyone on the gay scene was there., a lot of familiar faces. it was fun. Sam was really drunk, we danced a lot. I did worry a lil that he might be starting to get a bit flirty with me, especially in front of claire. poor drunken fool. he then went off and pulled his (to quote) 'runty friend' silly boy. I couldn't stay long sadly, which was a shame cos I wanted to stay more with claire and claire and all the crew. had a fight with claire (prettyandhigh)'s bf over which claire was better. I don't think it was a good idea for me to suggest they battled it out. Not that my claire isn't tough but she isn't a national rugby player. or much taller than 5,5.
Today I woke up well rested and tried to get things sorted. Did my hall's recycling. lazy bastards. Some of the kitchens have empty recycling bins, i think it may be overly optimistic to assume they emptied them themselves. It's funny seeing the different rubbish people have. A-fry has loads of obscure beer bottle and port. E-fry has its lambrini, the calendar girls have a lot fo shredded paper and G-unit is full of tinned curry/beans/soup/spagetti. which they don't rinse out. yuckityyuck. but I have now been round the entire hall and picked up the lot of it and disposed of it approprately.
I had to do something difficult today too. There are 2 members of teh catering/cleanign staff here who are eastern european i think, they don't speak much english and Rob says they're quite lonely and depressed here. They're married and mostly keep to themselves. i heard that kate went into hospital, and I wanted to go ask pete is she was ok, how she was doing. it was kinda hard to have a conversation with him as he was quite reserved and kinda gave the impression he had no idea what i was talking about for a while. but I felt glad to have done it. it must be diffiult, being that isolated.
Bumping into someone I hadn't seen in ages they exclaimed 'oh its you, clam-shell girl' and made motions of rubbing their imaginary breasts. lovely.
oh my I just wrote a fucking boring entry full of spelling mistakes. I'm losing my touch...what touch? yeah.