My issues with 'the season'.
It's a week to go and... mostly I've had enough already. I have some old complaints about Christmas and perhaps a more structured airing of them is warranted.
This isn't about /your/ experience. It's about mine. Your mileage will vary. Celebrate as and if you wish whatever midwinter tradition floats your boat. This is why, for me, it isn't a celebration.
1) Bad music.
Most of the catalog of music is really bad. Write a sappy song about any other subject and people will flee... but not if it's about snowflakes or Santa. Pipe Bieber into every semi-public space imaginable and you'd have a revolt on your hands, but not if it's him singing /Jingle Bell Rock/ with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!
I get it. For many people this isn't about the actual songs. It's about memories of childhood. It just doesn't work for me. I just hear music I'm not fond of and cannot escape from.
2) Bad memories.
Ties right into number one up there. The too-many-years-long proxy fight between my mother and father would inevitably heat up at this time of year, and my mom's (understandable) rage at my father's general unavailability would but up against his frustration with my mother's tendency to micromanage everything and everyone around her. Made for a fun lead up.
As an adult, I can find it in me to forgive and love these flawed individuals for who they are, but 10-year-old me was caught in that crossfire without really understanding anything of what was going on. The memories are often bittersweet at best and painful at worst.
3) Christmas lovers.
Not people who love it, but the people who have been in my life that have taken it as a personal affront that /I/ don't love it. That never respected my desire to not participate in every single tradition they felt integral in /their/ enjoyment of it. This extends to the cultural bombardment in general. It says I'm a bad person for not loving it. It says I'm deficient, somehow lacking in feeling, somehow inhuman.
4) Decoration.
Decorating for any seasonal event has always and will always feel like a waste of my time. It isn't in me to put lights up without feeling the shadow of what will happen when it is time to take them down. There is no joy for me here. I'm fine with /other people/ decorating. I can look at a neighbor's display and smile at the cleverness or artistry of it. Deck the halls to your heart's content. Just don't expect me to do more than grumble if you guilt me into it, and be aware that it is being coerced even when I'm putting on smiles because I may care about your feelings or opinion of me more than my own feelings or comfort.
Plus, getting pine-pitch out of my hair is really painful and I hate it.
--
So... that's my gripe list at the moment.
To everyone that reads this, you have my hopes that your winter celebrations are filled with joy, the company of friends and loved ones, warm shelter, good food, and hope for the year to come.
This isn't about /your/ experience. It's about mine. Your mileage will vary. Celebrate as and if you wish whatever midwinter tradition floats your boat. This is why, for me, it isn't a celebration.
1) Bad music.
Most of the catalog of music is really bad. Write a sappy song about any other subject and people will flee... but not if it's about snowflakes or Santa. Pipe Bieber into every semi-public space imaginable and you'd have a revolt on your hands, but not if it's him singing /Jingle Bell Rock/ with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!
I get it. For many people this isn't about the actual songs. It's about memories of childhood. It just doesn't work for me. I just hear music I'm not fond of and cannot escape from.
2) Bad memories.
Ties right into number one up there. The too-many-years-long proxy fight between my mother and father would inevitably heat up at this time of year, and my mom's (understandable) rage at my father's general unavailability would but up against his frustration with my mother's tendency to micromanage everything and everyone around her. Made for a fun lead up.
As an adult, I can find it in me to forgive and love these flawed individuals for who they are, but 10-year-old me was caught in that crossfire without really understanding anything of what was going on. The memories are often bittersweet at best and painful at worst.
3) Christmas lovers.
Not people who love it, but the people who have been in my life that have taken it as a personal affront that /I/ don't love it. That never respected my desire to not participate in every single tradition they felt integral in /their/ enjoyment of it. This extends to the cultural bombardment in general. It says I'm a bad person for not loving it. It says I'm deficient, somehow lacking in feeling, somehow inhuman.
4) Decoration.
Decorating for any seasonal event has always and will always feel like a waste of my time. It isn't in me to put lights up without feeling the shadow of what will happen when it is time to take them down. There is no joy for me here. I'm fine with /other people/ decorating. I can look at a neighbor's display and smile at the cleverness or artistry of it. Deck the halls to your heart's content. Just don't expect me to do more than grumble if you guilt me into it, and be aware that it is being coerced even when I'm putting on smiles because I may care about your feelings or opinion of me more than my own feelings or comfort.
Plus, getting pine-pitch out of my hair is really painful and I hate it.
--
So... that's my gripe list at the moment.
To everyone that reads this, you have my hopes that your winter celebrations are filled with joy, the company of friends and loved ones, warm shelter, good food, and hope for the year to come.