R/W ?
I think there comes a point in time when you start to question where your life is heading. And inevitably, might be it foolishly, you can only think of three options: walk on ahead, change your route or end it.
I think the easiest out of those three options is to end it. I don't see ending one's life as a cowardly action, but neither do I see it as honourable either. Seppuku is one Japanese culture that I will never understand ever.
Hmm, honestly I don't really know what I'm talking about now either. Or why I even mentioned seppuku (haha?). But my head's really messed up right now, my thoughts are scattered everywhere and I don't even know what I'm supposed to think about. Or where to start thinking?
But I guess, this year, I've questioned myself many many times whether I deserve to be happy. Not in the sense that I should not have such a right, but when everyone around me is so unhappy, I wonder if something is wrong with me that I'm the only one who doesn't seem sad?
But I guess it's not that I'm entirely happy either, or I don't experience any moments when I just want to hole myself up in my room and bawl my eyes out but hmm.. Why? Why should I let myself be affected by unhappy situations when 10years down the road, or even 10minutes later, I'm going to look back at it and laugh at myself for letting such a trivial matter bother me? I'm probably one of those fast-recovery people, huh. But I guess, I don't really like looking back at the past, because there's a reason why it's called the past. So why should I let those happy reasons in the past cause me misery in the present? I'll defeat the purpose of those happy memories.
I guess, when I say that my favourite quote is, "I believe that everything I am experiencing now will definitely have some meaning in my life." I really do mean it, and I really do believe in it. Maybe, in a way it's bad to look at life itself as only an experience, but it's many of these little experiences that makes up your life isn't it? And at the end, when I'm on my death bed, I want to be able to think that I can leave peacefully because I've had all the good and bad experiences in life.
But on the other hand, I might be looking at life too simply? After all, when I say this, I'm not considering my responsibilities in life at all. Maybe I am being too complacent after all? So is it alright for me to be happy after all?
Hmm, I've no idea really. But while I find out the answer, I'm going to live happily, because that's the only choice in life that I can fully call my own. I seriously have no idea why I ended up posting this. Maybe it's Anzenchitai's songs, or maybe it's too much rainbow pink hair thoughts frying my brain these days. Oh well.
I think the easiest out of those three options is to end it. I don't see ending one's life as a cowardly action, but neither do I see it as honourable either. Seppuku is one Japanese culture that I will never understand ever.
Hmm, honestly I don't really know what I'm talking about now either. Or why I even mentioned seppuku (haha?). But my head's really messed up right now, my thoughts are scattered everywhere and I don't even know what I'm supposed to think about. Or where to start thinking?
But I guess, this year, I've questioned myself many many times whether I deserve to be happy. Not in the sense that I should not have such a right, but when everyone around me is so unhappy, I wonder if something is wrong with me that I'm the only one who doesn't seem sad?
But I guess it's not that I'm entirely happy either, or I don't experience any moments when I just want to hole myself up in my room and bawl my eyes out but hmm.. Why? Why should I let myself be affected by unhappy situations when 10years down the road, or even 10minutes later, I'm going to look back at it and laugh at myself for letting such a trivial matter bother me? I'm probably one of those fast-recovery people, huh. But I guess, I don't really like looking back at the past, because there's a reason why it's called the past. So why should I let those happy reasons in the past cause me misery in the present? I'll defeat the purpose of those happy memories.
I guess, when I say that my favourite quote is, "I believe that everything I am experiencing now will definitely have some meaning in my life." I really do mean it, and I really do believe in it. Maybe, in a way it's bad to look at life itself as only an experience, but it's many of these little experiences that makes up your life isn't it? And at the end, when I'm on my death bed, I want to be able to think that I can leave peacefully because I've had all the good and bad experiences in life.
But on the other hand, I might be looking at life too simply? After all, when I say this, I'm not considering my responsibilities in life at all. Maybe I am being too complacent after all? So is it alright for me to be happy after all?
Hmm, I've no idea really. But while I find out the answer, I'm going to live happily, because that's the only choice in life that I can fully call my own. I seriously have no idea why I ended up posting this. Maybe it's Anzenchitai's songs, or maybe it's too much rainbow pink hair thoughts frying my brain these days. Oh well.