FRALALA
Wadddy upppy? I am just sitting here "spinning in luminol" anyways. I am feeling antsy. Damn existential angst. I feel so numb and down-trodden. I was just thinking about the other day, that the way we visually connect with the world is through fleshy orbs. Isn't that weird? And then our brain is also a fleshy orb. And planets are orbs too! CYCLE CYCLE CYCLE!! Then it spun me into a panic attack right in the middle of a bookstore, which with all that sensory overload I am suprised had not happened sooner. For my new friends who are just tuning in, I am a recovering agoraphobic. I have done very well these last three years but I still have a full blown panic attack at least once a week, and anxiety just about everyday. My doctors always want to know, why am I so anxious? And I am like, does the absurdity of our existence not ever occur to you? If we do live beyond our bodies, when do we end? What can go on for eternity that would not drive us mad? What could we do for eternity? Why do atoms decide to be certain shapes? All basic atomic structure is the same, why are some cardboard and why are some my eyeball? Why don't I float away? But I am floating already on a rock that is being slung around a gas ball at thousands of miles per hour. YIKES, you see these are the thoughts that trigger my anxiety attacks. My doctor's response? You really need a hobby to take up some of that mental energy, in the meantime, eat these paxil. Yeah right.....