I was never grateful, that's why i spent my days alone
i don't want to be poor
i don't want richness enough to do anything
b/c it makes me feel greedy
but i'm hungry and i need money for food.
i don't want to rely on others
i don't want to be part of the system
i don't want to be in college.
i don't want to stop learning
i don't want to be a disapointment and drop out
I really want to fast forward to the future, or have a workable plan for the future fall into my lap...
i don't want to have to admit these feelings for him
i don't want him to ignore my feelings for hers
i don't want to desire being with anybody
i don't want to be without him
i don't want to sacrifice the way i live for him
i don't want to admit that i'm selfish because he's being forced to sacrifice the same thing that he loves b/c of what it does to him
i don't want to change myself to be with him
and yet... i really want to be with him
i don't think he's going to call me back.
its certainly simpler this way, i guess, although it remains to be seen if its better.
oh well... I don't need all the stress and all the games and all the calling me names and fronting like your sane." (Twiztid-Fuck on the 1st date)
I been taught and I been played, it's all the same
And that's why they call it a game and me a loser...
Plus I'm probably everything you'd expect
And you'll probably just want to go and get married instead
And you'll probably just be the craziest bitch I ever met...
-Twiztid, Fantasy
Sometimes you stop to just take a breath
You breathe in the air and you get upset
You don't need to change, you just think you need
A little time alone and away from me
And I'm not the only thing in the world that's in your way
And I know it's hard sometimes
You misunderstand all those things I say
And I don't need anymore, anything to control me
I've thrown my addictions aside again
And I don't need anymore, anything to provoke me
I wonder why I try again
I think that maybe this way that I feel a side effect
From trying to balance my soul, instead I keep dividing it
And hiding it from people who wanna provoke my bad side
And keep it all from bubbling over into a landslide
I'm medicated just hoping that it'll fly by
But sometimes I need to take a breath and I'll be alright
Up all night because all of this is getting to me
I know you probably want to hit me but breathe with me
Chorus
I sit so hallowed open while others level off at any cost
I've been depraved of things
That people think are such an awful loss
And I lost the race and picked up the pace
My timing's off, I'm well aware
And I can't believe I say those things I say as if I just don't care
Chorus
And I don't want anymore, all the greed is controlling
The hunger never seems to end
And I don't try anymore, so afraid of devoting
And then I die inside again
I think that maybe this way that I feels a side effect
From trying to balance my soul, well I keep dividing it
I try to get back up when I slip on banana peels
Situations develop out the mist of air it kind of feels
Like breathing in exhaust fumes while exhaling the hate
Of so many days gone bad it all seems to fade
And dilute and pollute and contaminate the breathing air
I'm taking breaths in moderation as if I just don't care
Chorus
Breathe with me as if I just don't care
Would you breathe with me, as if I just don't care
Breathe with me as if I just don't care
Would you breathe with me, as if I just don't care
Breathe with me as if I just don't care
Would you breathe with me, as if I just don't car
i really wish i had money to go on a binge. i've got pot.. but i don't really like smoking that much when i'm like this. i need something harder, something real, like pain...
if only he were here to hurt me...
I feel stupid - but I know it wont last for long
Ive been guessing - I coulda been guessin wrong
You dont know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got ya down?
I feel stupid but its something that comes and goes
Ive been changin - think its funny how now one knows
We dont talk about - the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around
So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now
It seems to me - youd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - Im lost and Im hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though Ive never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
I feel stupid - but I think I been catchin on
I feel ugly - but I know I still turn you on
You seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down
So are you gonna stand there
Are you gonna help me out
You need to be together now - I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - Im lost and Im hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though Ive never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
Now Im cryin - isnt that what you want
Im tryin to live my life on my own
But I wont
At times - I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do i, i, I feel stupid
And I came undone
And I came undone
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - Im lost and Im hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though Ive never spoken
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - Im a child and Im hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though Ive never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
"I don't wanna try to change, just wanna fry my brains." - ICP
*sigh* i feel so emo i want to pretend its 6/6/6 and punch myself in the face.