Sad... and angry...
Well... I just read my baby's livejournal for the first time. I made a comment... that was really long. I worked on writing it for about half and hour... but then my computer froze... and it was lost. That makes me hella mad. Anyway... he wrote about this one day that he came to my house and the lights were on and my music was on, but I wasn't here. Well... I was there... I was just smoking by myself and listening to music... and I was angry and I didn't want to talk to you. The only reason why I started talking to my friends again and not calling you and stuff is because everytime I called your house and you were there with Ricky and his friends... it would always make me feel bad. You wouldn't pay attention to me on the phone and you were at your house having a good time... while I was at my house bored... waiting for you. So.. I wanted to have fun myself. And then finding out that you were talking to girls on the phone and having girls at your house telling you to dump me because they liked you. I just can't handle that. I would never cheat on Hector... but when I hear things like that... I just don't even want to talk to him. Fuck a bitch.... if he wants to talk to some stupid little ho.... then go ahead. I'm not stopping you... I can't. I shouldn't have taken all those bitches numbers away from him... he's probably lonley now... because all he has to talk to is me. Aww... poor thing. But... baby you don't have to worry... I'm sure one of those bitches will call you soon... and you can get there numbers again from the caller id... and keep them in your wallet... so where ever you go you can call them. I hope they make sure you're not lonley... Isn't that the whole reason you called them in the first place? I don't know this journal entry might sound a bit mean... but it just hurts... and yeah.... Hector said that he feels like I have been keeping something from him. Yeah I have. I have been keeping the hurt inside and trying not to let the anger out on him.... so sometimes I just don't want to talk... and sometimes I just hide. And... sometimes he just makes me want to die...but it will be alright.... that's what I tell myself over and over again.