And they lived happily ever after....

[blackcatsprowl]

I want someone that writes me letters and thinks of me when he's alone.
I want someone who sweeps me off of my feet.
I want someone who makes me feel loved.
And not just some of the time.
I want the fairytale that doesn't exist.
I want someone who defends my honor.
I want someone who never gets tired of holding me.
I want something pure.
I want the fairytale that doesn't exist.
I want to never be sad and to never be angry and to never be sick.
And if I am, I want someone to hold me and give me peace.
I want to never feel second rate.
I want the fairytale that doesn't exist.
I want someone to think I'm the prettiest girl they've ever known.
I want someone to think I'm their perfect fit.
I want someone who can't hurt me or break me or make me cry.
I want you to be someone that doesn't exist.

I guess I could try really hard to settle for some of this. I'm tired of who I am in relationships. I push people away. I push people away with my need for something that's "meant-to-be", something that doesn't need work, and never hurts. I know it doesn't exist, but then why all the movie romances that fall right into place? Why do they show us these things? Why the fairytales with always happy endings? Why?

Why do things have to hurt? Please, no bullshit about how things have to hurt so that we can really feel and know joy. That's all crap guys, it really is. I'm feeling down and out and unsure and afraid.

I fear the power that you have when my heart is in your possession. Oh and it is, it really fucking is.