♚ 黒執事 ♚
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The shame burns in his face, because it's horrible, yet it doesn't feel like such. He tries not to sob. That would be more than he could handle, crying in front of that girl, and he's not even sure why he wants to. He's a Phantomhive, he's proud, and if anyone is taking advantage of the situation, it's him. If he wanted her, why shouldn't he have? He tries to rationalize his thoughts - Sebastian would have helped him if he didn't want it, right? - but he finds it's too hard, that his mind doesn't focus.
When he comes, he has his eyes closed, and his knuckles are already white from the strength he's using to hold onto the bed. He can't see how she lifted her fingers and licked them tentatively, or how she quickly put them away from her mouth, making a face.
Doll is still smiling when he's not looking, though. She leans over him and kisses his forehead, this time, just above his right eye. He can't help but feel disgusted by the mess he made, yet she only cleans him with a piece of cloth that feels dirtier than his own tights, promptly helping him adjust his pants.
He opens his eyes slowly, and once again he can't decipher her smile.
And maybe that is the best for him, for them.
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