i'm still hurting
"Jamie is over and Jamie is gone/Jamie's decided it's time to move on/Jamie has new dreams he's building upon/And I'm still hurting"- Still Hurting from the musical The Last Five Years.
I'm no longer at the point of crying, i finished that thursday morning. I'm just still very hurt about the whole situation and how it went down. i discussed my worries about my trust in men during my group therapy on thursday night. It was so hard to explain what happened with me because i'm so embarrassed by the whole thing. And then to explain my past to people i've only known for two month, i just felt very valnerable. And even though they were really helpful i just couldn't help but think about what they really thought about me. How i'm think girl, who just broke up with her boyfriend not to long about and just started seeign someone else and he dumped her too. there must be something wrong with her.
But they told me i can't dwell on the pass because i will only expect the worst. We all have to deal with heartbreak and that eventually i'll find someone great. And i know that's true, but what if it doesn't. I look at my mom, she's still alone and unhappy. I look at my sister she's married but incredibly miserable. There can't be much hope for me. I'm going to end up just like that and it scares me.
I don't really trust anyone at this moment, not even friends. I'm not looking forward to moving in with my housemates next month. I heard that one of my housemates believe i broke her stupid teapot. And she's talking behind my back yet she asked me to buy her some liquor yesterday. All smiling in my face and shit, fake bitch. I'm going to go up to her today or tomorrow and ask if she really believes i broke her teapot. She should know, i do drink tea but i always make it in the microwave. I've never use that damn teapot not once. the only people who use that shit is her and her roommate. Fuck bitch. I know i'm going to be a loner in my house, they all are going to hang out and have memories together and i'm going to be alone. but i'm fine because i can't trust them and they are all immature bitches.
And then my friend Shawna who's friend with the housemate i hate, jon. Told him about the whole Rody situation. And he has to the nerve to talk about my business with other housemate. FUCKING JERK i hate him.
I'm no longer at the point of crying, i finished that thursday morning. I'm just still very hurt about the whole situation and how it went down. i discussed my worries about my trust in men during my group therapy on thursday night. It was so hard to explain what happened with me because i'm so embarrassed by the whole thing. And then to explain my past to people i've only known for two month, i just felt very valnerable. And even though they were really helpful i just couldn't help but think about what they really thought about me. How i'm think girl, who just broke up with her boyfriend not to long about and just started seeign someone else and he dumped her too. there must be something wrong with her.
But they told me i can't dwell on the pass because i will only expect the worst. We all have to deal with heartbreak and that eventually i'll find someone great. And i know that's true, but what if it doesn't. I look at my mom, she's still alone and unhappy. I look at my sister she's married but incredibly miserable. There can't be much hope for me. I'm going to end up just like that and it scares me.
I don't really trust anyone at this moment, not even friends. I'm not looking forward to moving in with my housemates next month. I heard that one of my housemates believe i broke her stupid teapot. And she's talking behind my back yet she asked me to buy her some liquor yesterday. All smiling in my face and shit, fake bitch. I'm going to go up to her today or tomorrow and ask if she really believes i broke her teapot. She should know, i do drink tea but i always make it in the microwave. I've never use that damn teapot not once. the only people who use that shit is her and her roommate. Fuck bitch. I know i'm going to be a loner in my house, they all are going to hang out and have memories together and i'm going to be alone. but i'm fine because i can't trust them and they are all immature bitches.
And then my friend Shawna who's friend with the housemate i hate, jon. Told him about the whole Rody situation. And he has to the nerve to talk about my business with other housemate. FUCKING JERK i hate him.