(no subject)
Hey. I haven't been on here in so long. I'm not quite sure what to blog about, really. I think I shall rant.
There is this boy--but he isn't a boy, really. He's a man. He's over 18 by some years, and that makes him untouchable to someone like me. Someone like.. 17 and a half years old. I don't really know if I like him in depth, or if it's one of my quick flings that mean nothing. We worked together and while that sounds weird, and may be painting a loser-ish picture of him, it isn't so. He wasn't on the same level of me. He was.. a sort of managerial type deal. Anyway, he quit because he thought he was too old to be working there, even though he was in such a position. I tried to tell him that it was okay, but he couldn't stay. I hadn't liked him then. We were just quiet friends. I miss him, honestly. I have missed him since the day after his last. It's kind of sad, but I don't really think there's anything I'd be able to do about it.
I saw him the other day. I see him sometimes, around. But it doesn't mean anything. Maybe I'm saying things like that to just make myself think that it's another nothing. Perhaps I'm trying to trick myself, as I sometimes do. I don't care; it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to stop talking about it.
I do this all the time. I confuse my feelings because I think I wish for love so much that I create it, rather than search for it.
I am able to observe someone for a bit, and know what habits would bother me, which would make me happy, which I'd appreciate, and so on.
Well, I have always had extremely high standards. I don't lower them. I never have. Sure, I've dated below the standards, but those weren't serious, they were just flings. Pure flings.
I confuse love with extreme temporary infatuation. And it sucks.
I guess I'll go study for my algebra2 test that I missed on Friday cause I played sick and went home..
There is this boy--but he isn't a boy, really. He's a man. He's over 18 by some years, and that makes him untouchable to someone like me. Someone like.. 17 and a half years old. I don't really know if I like him in depth, or if it's one of my quick flings that mean nothing. We worked together and while that sounds weird, and may be painting a loser-ish picture of him, it isn't so. He wasn't on the same level of me. He was.. a sort of managerial type deal. Anyway, he quit because he thought he was too old to be working there, even though he was in such a position. I tried to tell him that it was okay, but he couldn't stay. I hadn't liked him then. We were just quiet friends. I miss him, honestly. I have missed him since the day after his last. It's kind of sad, but I don't really think there's anything I'd be able to do about it.
I saw him the other day. I see him sometimes, around. But it doesn't mean anything. Maybe I'm saying things like that to just make myself think that it's another nothing. Perhaps I'm trying to trick myself, as I sometimes do. I don't care; it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to stop talking about it.
I do this all the time. I confuse my feelings because I think I wish for love so much that I create it, rather than search for it.
I am able to observe someone for a bit, and know what habits would bother me, which would make me happy, which I'd appreciate, and so on.
Well, I have always had extremely high standards. I don't lower them. I never have. Sure, I've dated below the standards, but those weren't serious, they were just flings. Pure flings.
I confuse love with extreme temporary infatuation. And it sucks.
I guess I'll go study for my algebra2 test that I missed on Friday cause I played sick and went home..