here's the truth, support is needed.
well, I have a myspace. I don't know why, but after reading everyone's updates (since I haven't done that in a long time), I feel an obligation to write my feelings down so eveeryone can read them and feel someone esle's emotions like I did their's.
I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't know what I want to happen to me. I wonder sometimes jsut to know that I am at least trying to concern myself with it, but most of the time I don't wonder. as if it doesnt' even matter.
I think of Lyndsey after just reading some of her updates. she is having some difficulties that many ppl would not know about unless she had told them or they were read in here. I thikn of LaDawn and how she is going to do next year with Lyndsey gone, and how her ways will change, how her heart will change. I think of Nicole and Sara and how they are going to feel different next year about everyone and everything. I think of all my friends, how I have done the simplest little thing and how it must have effected them.
I think that everyone has a messy life with droughts and springs, but no one knows.. how ppl can just be one way and that's how we think they are, how they feel, and how their soul is.. in reality, it's not like that ever. Lyndsey does smile alot. we all see her smiling, we all see her with her friends and how everyone loves her and we all know that she loves us, but she does have other things going on that we don't see and that we won't understand. LaDawn is going to have more things effect her soon and we won't be able to imagine the feelings that will overwhelm her, but we are going to be there to support her, aren't we? we rarely see the bubbly personality pop, but when we do, we need to understand the best of our ability. we need to help each other, even when we don't understand fully or if we are unable to know the whole story, we have to be there for each other.
what is wrong with everyone? believing what they see? or hear? what happened to knowing in their hearts? what happened to common sense of love and understanding? the knowledge of pain is far greater than the pain of knowledge and for that to be understood, we must be open in our mind and hearts.
I wish for everyone that I know and even that I don't know.. I just wish they could be in my head and see my thoughts and feel my fear or lack of. I wish we could share our hatred and love by just knowing. the world is absurd. it just is and it's either out to screw you over or kill you. we have to deal with it. so far I have dealt with it. I soemtimes want to die, but most of the time I feel like I have to beg to live. I feel like I will never get my chance to have a daughter who looks like me, or I'll never get to leave where I am. I feel like everytime I know myself, I loose it and have to start over.
kill the system of standards. creativity will distill the normality in which our brains seem to follow. be kind and cry.
wish the stars would float forever, the sky would sink, the heart would fly, the mind would wander, the love would flutter, the body would dance, the hatred would dim, and the beauty be found.
help my fight against ignorance. support emotion.
I don't know what's going on with me. I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't know what I want to happen to me. I wonder sometimes jsut to know that I am at least trying to concern myself with it, but most of the time I don't wonder. as if it doesnt' even matter.
I think of Lyndsey after just reading some of her updates. she is having some difficulties that many ppl would not know about unless she had told them or they were read in here. I thikn of LaDawn and how she is going to do next year with Lyndsey gone, and how her ways will change, how her heart will change. I think of Nicole and Sara and how they are going to feel different next year about everyone and everything. I think of all my friends, how I have done the simplest little thing and how it must have effected them.
I think that everyone has a messy life with droughts and springs, but no one knows.. how ppl can just be one way and that's how we think they are, how they feel, and how their soul is.. in reality, it's not like that ever. Lyndsey does smile alot. we all see her smiling, we all see her with her friends and how everyone loves her and we all know that she loves us, but she does have other things going on that we don't see and that we won't understand. LaDawn is going to have more things effect her soon and we won't be able to imagine the feelings that will overwhelm her, but we are going to be there to support her, aren't we? we rarely see the bubbly personality pop, but when we do, we need to understand the best of our ability. we need to help each other, even when we don't understand fully or if we are unable to know the whole story, we have to be there for each other.
what is wrong with everyone? believing what they see? or hear? what happened to knowing in their hearts? what happened to common sense of love and understanding? the knowledge of pain is far greater than the pain of knowledge and for that to be understood, we must be open in our mind and hearts.
I wish for everyone that I know and even that I don't know.. I just wish they could be in my head and see my thoughts and feel my fear or lack of. I wish we could share our hatred and love by just knowing. the world is absurd. it just is and it's either out to screw you over or kill you. we have to deal with it. so far I have dealt with it. I soemtimes want to die, but most of the time I feel like I have to beg to live. I feel like I will never get my chance to have a daughter who looks like me, or I'll never get to leave where I am. I feel like everytime I know myself, I loose it and have to start over.
kill the system of standards. creativity will distill the normality in which our brains seem to follow. be kind and cry.
wish the stars would float forever, the sky would sink, the heart would fly, the mind would wander, the love would flutter, the body would dance, the hatred would dim, and the beauty be found.
help my fight against ignorance. support emotion.