I hate SU
Disappointments:
* I do not feel trained in my job and feel that I'm not effective or helpful. I've asked for training and it comes in small trickles.
* Having a very hard time adjusting to living with J. We've talked about it but things aren't getting better.
* There are bugs in my apartment. The exterminator has sprayed and we've put out roach traps but there they are and I'm terrified that they'll crawl on me while I'm sleeping. I killed a spider that was at least 2 inches.
* Did I mention that the neighborhood is very bad? One of my neighbors harasses J and me about being white and Throws trash at us. I do not have the means to move to another apartment. I've talked to the director of Greek Life about being a house mom, but that position won't open up for at least a semester, if at all.
* I don't like the student culture here. Give me back entitlement. Students here are very privileged beyond belief. They lack humility. Student Affairs professionals are merely stepping stones for these students. I miss humble and entitled Grinnell students. I argued with the yearbook staff about journalistic integrity and the necessity for institutional memory.
* I'm friendly with most of my classmates, however, I wouldn't want to have a glass of wine with any of them. Most of my classmates are straight out of undergrad without much experience and lots of misconceptions.
* Class projects and meetings encroach into every part of my life.I have no down/personal time. Which I know will only continue to get worse as i take on a practicum next semester or become a Student Affairs professional. It is very important for me to be able to leave work at the office or in the classroom. I resent how much this has taken over my life. I also know myself well enough to know that if I'm not getting enough personal time I'll either get sick or I'll create personal time by shirking my class and/or work responsabilities.
* I do not enjoy my classes. I find the readings slightly interesting but I seriously don't care about where learning communities started or reading ten articles based on the same set of data all of which I find intuitive. My professors are not interested in hearing from students. They talk about how best to serve undergrad students but fail to realize that most of my classmates are millennial students.
* I'm, now, regretting not going into an MFA program. It doesn't "qualify" me to do anything, but it can teach me how to make a life out of my passion for writing. I've been running away from writing too long and it is time for me to face my fears and put my work out into the world.
* I don't like all the group work/projects. I tend to be very individualistic and independent and cooperative models of learning do not suit me or how I learn best. Team facilitating classes, team presenting research, team writing papers.
* I have little desire to write or publish journal articles regarding research on the college student which is what most of classes aim to do.
* I convinced myself to be here out of logical concern for the future; however, I don't respond well to logic. I care more about how things feel and having the right fit.
* My hair is falling out, my stomach is eating itself, I'm not sleeping well. My body is telling me I made the wrong choice.
* It isn't that I don't know how to read critically or quickly. I just have no interest in the material. the work load doesn't scare me, my lack of interest scares me.
* I may turn out to be a great student affairs professional, but at what cost? I wouldn't make it through boot camp nor would I want to. I take too much pride in being me.
I do like most of the people I work with, but that's not enough to keep me here. They are nice people.
When I talk to J about my concerns, he takes it as a personal attack because he loves it so much. This is the right place for him and he can't wrap his head around someone being so unhappy.
My unhappiness extends into every part of my life: classes, work, home, and even the shallow friendships I've developed so far.
* I do not feel trained in my job and feel that I'm not effective or helpful. I've asked for training and it comes in small trickles.
* Having a very hard time adjusting to living with J. We've talked about it but things aren't getting better.
* There are bugs in my apartment. The exterminator has sprayed and we've put out roach traps but there they are and I'm terrified that they'll crawl on me while I'm sleeping. I killed a spider that was at least 2 inches.
* Did I mention that the neighborhood is very bad? One of my neighbors harasses J and me about being white and Throws trash at us. I do not have the means to move to another apartment. I've talked to the director of Greek Life about being a house mom, but that position won't open up for at least a semester, if at all.
* I don't like the student culture here. Give me back entitlement. Students here are very privileged beyond belief. They lack humility. Student Affairs professionals are merely stepping stones for these students. I miss humble and entitled Grinnell students. I argued with the yearbook staff about journalistic integrity and the necessity for institutional memory.
* I'm friendly with most of my classmates, however, I wouldn't want to have a glass of wine with any of them. Most of my classmates are straight out of undergrad without much experience and lots of misconceptions.
* Class projects and meetings encroach into every part of my life.I have no down/personal time. Which I know will only continue to get worse as i take on a practicum next semester or become a Student Affairs professional. It is very important for me to be able to leave work at the office or in the classroom. I resent how much this has taken over my life. I also know myself well enough to know that if I'm not getting enough personal time I'll either get sick or I'll create personal time by shirking my class and/or work responsabilities.
* I do not enjoy my classes. I find the readings slightly interesting but I seriously don't care about where learning communities started or reading ten articles based on the same set of data all of which I find intuitive. My professors are not interested in hearing from students. They talk about how best to serve undergrad students but fail to realize that most of my classmates are millennial students.
* I'm, now, regretting not going into an MFA program. It doesn't "qualify" me to do anything, but it can teach me how to make a life out of my passion for writing. I've been running away from writing too long and it is time for me to face my fears and put my work out into the world.
* I don't like all the group work/projects. I tend to be very individualistic and independent and cooperative models of learning do not suit me or how I learn best. Team facilitating classes, team presenting research, team writing papers.
* I have little desire to write or publish journal articles regarding research on the college student which is what most of classes aim to do.
* I convinced myself to be here out of logical concern for the future; however, I don't respond well to logic. I care more about how things feel and having the right fit.
* My hair is falling out, my stomach is eating itself, I'm not sleeping well. My body is telling me I made the wrong choice.
* It isn't that I don't know how to read critically or quickly. I just have no interest in the material. the work load doesn't scare me, my lack of interest scares me.
* I may turn out to be a great student affairs professional, but at what cost? I wouldn't make it through boot camp nor would I want to. I take too much pride in being me.
I do like most of the people I work with, but that's not enough to keep me here. They are nice people.
When I talk to J about my concerns, he takes it as a personal attack because he loves it so much. This is the right place for him and he can't wrap his head around someone being so unhappy.
My unhappiness extends into every part of my life: classes, work, home, and even the shallow friendships I've developed so far.