(no subject)
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts... well, they come and they go. As do images and actions. It's all in the wind you know... My quest has been to find a constant. For many years it was an idea of a purest form maybe even the godhead or wellspring. When did that begin? This idea of something pristine. Was it with Plato or was it before even this lifetime? I don't know. And, to whom did it matter? Who is that "me" that also flickers like a dancing candle flame? It's all so surreal... Is it all Brahman playing at diversity within the context of a revolving dream? I'm looking and listening but mainly I Am. Lately, this is about as much as I can say....when I am here. Is there other than "here"? Would I be there to know "IT"? Such are the considerations which, again, point toward the search for a constant. Now, the searching also grinds to a standstill. Is this Tamas or Sattva, I cannot be sure. Desire also is seen as ethereal. There are thoughts about death but where can I go? I am convinced something persists prior to and after the fireworks show. The old cliche of stillness speaking appears to be true but there is no fear of oblivion. No, it's a welcome and it says, "sit right here and just let every single thing go." Yeah, there's a little uncertainness in that. Do we dare to just come apart in utter stillness....to move not? To fade away? Again, where would I go? Is awareness a thing that ceases when it ceases to be this or that? No, I sense no ending... But, yes, it can feel strange and discomforting because pure means free from all conditions and thus there is no-thing left one can hold. I guess this is what some call emptiness but IT is also what is aware of emptiness and so you think of the term "beyond"... All terms also come and go and then? Freedom? Were you ever truly in bondage? So it's back to surreal which I say because it means it has seemed like a reality even though I know it has not been. One cannot call it reality if it comes and goes. And now I think of the word "function" and the many implications and, then, the idea of a function also goes. Silence speaks again along with a furthering appreciation for this quiet. Dare we call it "home"? Back to looking and listening which I call the humble investigation. Not knowing for certain. Not forming any conclusion nor adhering to standard limits. Just quietly being open to silence and observing clouds pass. This is where one might say "boundless" because the eye is never bound by what it perceives. All links shatter and fade away like tiny ripples. Nothing is bound here...certainly not this body which comes and goes. The conditional becomes a suggested metaphor...a potential that might have been...a brief excursion into "maybe". The idea of "explorer" still persists. Seeker? Searcher? Back to the pristine I Am which I call "undefinable". Being being Being. Everything has boiled down to THIS and IT was here all along. All the roads were mighty dancing but now the music has ceased. Do these happenings even contain an interest? Oh, and do not get me started on meaning... I laugh. And now considering a nice hot shower because the body itches and stinks. Or, further meditation? Out...