Whoa. (25 Jun 2008)
Damn, it has been a while.
So. Basics?
We're at this lakeside cabin that my parents' friend owns as a summer home or whatever. It's about a hundred years old and showing signs of almost-falling apart at the seams, but even without that it's kinda grotty. I hate old buildings. Anyway.
Steve is the whiniest, most nasally-voiced little bitch ever, and this is including Brock Gibian. Please don't tell him I said that.
LiveJournal is fun! I think I might keep an online journal. That way I can always keep in touch with you guys, and you all can read what crazy things I'm up to. :D
I polished my budding skills in s'more-making today. The fire kept almost-dying and we had to resurrect about half a billion times with the gasoline, and the pine branches made the fire spit lots of painful little sparks. They all went for Steve, though, so 'sall good. :P
In other news, I'm totally stealing some guy's internet connection (WHICH JUST DIED, USELESS WASSOCK CAN'T EVEN KEEP A GODDAMN INTERNET RUNNING), and I'm with this other Korean family. Christine is about Steve's age, I think, and Ellis (cute name) is younger. I've been watching them all day, and I think this is what parenting feels like. I've had to comfort a crying Ellis, have taken Lily (dog) for a walk and had to pull her back two dozen times to wait for them to catch up, made Christine apologise for pushing Ellis accidentally and making her cry, and OH GOD WHY IS THERE A PORTRAIT OF ABE LINCOLN IN THIS ROOM ANYWAY??? [THERE'S ANOTHER OF GEORGE WASHINGTON BEHIND IT ON THE DRESSER, WHY??????])
(Abe is sitting down with a red wall and part of a landscape painting with clouds and some sort of sunset/sunrise kinda thing behind him, and Georgie is standing up with his right hand on his hip (GIRLY) and his left on a paper on the desk next to him. There's a red curtain behind him, and the wall behind gives way less than half-way from the right to show some kind of early morn/early late evening kinda light and trees and STUFF. I CAN'T THINK I'M TIRED DAMMIT.)
If you want to, feel free to dig up possible matches from Google or someplace and I can verify if they're the ones I saw. If I remember. Estoy cansada. Kthnx.
**I'm going to have a whole lot of swearing in this journal. Deal wit it, fool, or you ain't comin' back.** XD
After a wild tomorrow of boating, motorboating (hopefully--if Dad EVER figures out how to drive the fucking thing, HE'S GOING TO TEACH ME SO BADASS >____<), swimming (butnotformeIHATEYOUFEMALEPROBLEMS*)
*Already cried three times today. Two mood swings caused by stress and one because I'm going to miss you all so much. I love you and wish I could take all of you with me. Maybe I could smuggle a couple of you in my bags? ;___;)
I don't really want to talk about it, but I need to get into the habit of spilling everything. So.
This morning I called Lorri McE. to tell her she didn't need to return the Amazing Automagical Yo-Yo(tm) after all because things promised to get ugly with the last-minute packing. She was at Abbie's with Ricky "Allison" Grip., Jessi R., & more? Can't remember. Distressed. Started crying while saying goodbye. I cried last night at the parking lot too, when everyone left and my dad wasn't there yet and I felt lonely and abandoned and didn't want to ever leave and I'm going to stop now before it sets me off again.
And then Kathryn B.'s get-together today. She caught a sunfish and left it to flop and die slowly and painfully on land and be eaten by crows. I couldn't stand the thought so I got an oar and hit it. It flopped and fell still and it was awful. I feel so ditzy writing this, but I started to cry.
I JUST KILLED IT! It was alive and it could've had a happy fishy life with fishy kids and a loving fishy spouse and I SNUFFED IT OUT WHEN I COULD'VE THROWN IT BACK IN ONLY I THOUGHT KATHRYN WOULDN'T LIKE THAT. Another life. I was so disgusted with myself. There was much comforting from Pooky and everyone and I felt a tiny bit better and I managed to feel kind of happy jumping on the trampoline again, and then I learned IT WASN'T DEAD AFTER ALL AND I ONLY GAVE IT MORE PAIN IN ITS STILL CRUELLY DRAWN-OUT DEATH.
I almost cried again but I got a slightly firmer grip on myself.
And then we were on the way here and Steve would not fucking stop talking and I needed to sleep off the insane emotional rollercoastering so desperately and there was so much shit in the backseat that the seat wouldn't lean back and it was deeply uncomfortable and I was so emotionally overtaxed that I blew up at Steve ("WOULD YOU STOP TALKING FOR ONCE, YOU LITTLE SHIT?") and I went inside the cabin and cried. Again.
I have never felt like such a teenaged girl as I have today. I don't want to talk about it anymore, and I would appreciate it if no-one ever mentioned this entry again, plzkthnxbai.
I need a hug. And a cookie. But I prolly won't get either. ;___;
So. Basics?
We're at this lakeside cabin that my parents' friend owns as a summer home or whatever. It's about a hundred years old and showing signs of almost-falling apart at the seams, but even without that it's kinda grotty. I hate old buildings. Anyway.
Steve is the whiniest, most nasally-voiced little bitch ever, and this is including Brock Gibian. Please don't tell him I said that.
LiveJournal is fun! I think I might keep an online journal. That way I can always keep in touch with you guys, and you all can read what crazy things I'm up to. :D
I polished my budding skills in s'more-making today. The fire kept almost-dying and we had to resurrect about half a billion times with the gasoline, and the pine branches made the fire spit lots of painful little sparks. They all went for Steve, though, so 'sall good. :P
In other news, I'm totally stealing some guy's internet connection (WHICH JUST DIED, USELESS WASSOCK CAN'T EVEN KEEP A GODDAMN INTERNET RUNNING), and I'm with this other Korean family. Christine is about Steve's age, I think, and Ellis (cute name) is younger. I've been watching them all day, and I think this is what parenting feels like. I've had to comfort a crying Ellis, have taken Lily (dog) for a walk and had to pull her back two dozen times to wait for them to catch up, made Christine apologise for pushing Ellis accidentally and making her cry, and OH GOD WHY IS THERE A PORTRAIT OF ABE LINCOLN IN THIS ROOM ANYWAY??? [THERE'S ANOTHER OF GEORGE WASHINGTON BEHIND IT ON THE DRESSER, WHY??????])
(Abe is sitting down with a red wall and part of a landscape painting with clouds and some sort of sunset/sunrise kinda thing behind him, and Georgie is standing up with his right hand on his hip (GIRLY) and his left on a paper on the desk next to him. There's a red curtain behind him, and the wall behind gives way less than half-way from the right to show some kind of early morn/early late evening kinda light and trees and STUFF. I CAN'T THINK I'M TIRED DAMMIT.)
If you want to, feel free to dig up possible matches from Google or someplace and I can verify if they're the ones I saw. If I remember. Estoy cansada. Kthnx.
**I'm going to have a whole lot of swearing in this journal. Deal wit it, fool, or you ain't comin' back.** XD
After a wild tomorrow of boating, motorboating (hopefully--if Dad EVER figures out how to drive the fucking thing, HE'S GOING TO TEACH ME SO BADASS >____<), swimming (butnotformeIHATEYOUFEMALEPROBLEMS*)
*Already cried three times today. Two mood swings caused by stress and one because I'm going to miss you all so much. I love you and wish I could take all of you with me. Maybe I could smuggle a couple of you in my bags? ;___;)
I don't really want to talk about it, but I need to get into the habit of spilling everything. So.
This morning I called Lorri McE. to tell her she didn't need to return the Amazing Automagical Yo-Yo(tm) after all because things promised to get ugly with the last-minute packing. She was at Abbie's with Ricky "Allison" Grip., Jessi R., & more? Can't remember. Distressed. Started crying while saying goodbye. I cried last night at the parking lot too, when everyone left and my dad wasn't there yet and I felt lonely and abandoned and didn't want to ever leave and I'm going to stop now before it sets me off again.
And then Kathryn B.'s get-together today. She caught a sunfish and left it to flop and die slowly and painfully on land and be eaten by crows. I couldn't stand the thought so I got an oar and hit it. It flopped and fell still and it was awful. I feel so ditzy writing this, but I started to cry.
I JUST KILLED IT! It was alive and it could've had a happy fishy life with fishy kids and a loving fishy spouse and I SNUFFED IT OUT WHEN I COULD'VE THROWN IT BACK IN ONLY I THOUGHT KATHRYN WOULDN'T LIKE THAT. Another life. I was so disgusted with myself. There was much comforting from Pooky and everyone and I felt a tiny bit better and I managed to feel kind of happy jumping on the trampoline again, and then I learned IT WASN'T DEAD AFTER ALL AND I ONLY GAVE IT MORE PAIN IN ITS STILL CRUELLY DRAWN-OUT DEATH.
I almost cried again but I got a slightly firmer grip on myself.
And then we were on the way here and Steve would not fucking stop talking and I needed to sleep off the insane emotional rollercoastering so desperately and there was so much shit in the backseat that the seat wouldn't lean back and it was deeply uncomfortable and I was so emotionally overtaxed that I blew up at Steve ("WOULD YOU STOP TALKING FOR ONCE, YOU LITTLE SHIT?") and I went inside the cabin and cried. Again.
I have never felt like such a teenaged girl as I have today. I don't want to talk about it anymore, and I would appreciate it if no-one ever mentioned this entry again, plzkthnxbai.
I need a hug. And a cookie. But I prolly won't get either. ;___;