(no subject)
:(
I don't know how I did it. I don't know how I managed to stay in a fucking shell for months and months and months. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't do anything. Most days I couldn't get out of bed. I still don't want to get out of bed. Winter never went away. Winter never disappeared. It just stayed cold. The whole world remained cold, and the longer I stayed inside, the colder it got outside.
I gained weight. The image that I worked so hard for disappeared. For a while, it killed me, and provided me with more reason not to see anyone, but I don't care anymore.
I finished all my schoolwork, but when I think of the things I lost, and the things I gave up and the people I stopped talking to, and the winter sadness that I succomed to, it now seems a curse. It wasn't worth it, because now I can't get back out.
Damnit.
I don't know how I did it. I don't know how I managed to stay in a fucking shell for months and months and months. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't do anything. Most days I couldn't get out of bed. I still don't want to get out of bed. Winter never went away. Winter never disappeared. It just stayed cold. The whole world remained cold, and the longer I stayed inside, the colder it got outside.
I gained weight. The image that I worked so hard for disappeared. For a while, it killed me, and provided me with more reason not to see anyone, but I don't care anymore.
I finished all my schoolwork, but when I think of the things I lost, and the things I gave up and the people I stopped talking to, and the winter sadness that I succomed to, it now seems a curse. It wasn't worth it, because now I can't get back out.
Damnit.