(no subject)
i was thinking about slitting my wrists again today, but i thought against it because i remembered how stupid it is to do that. someone tell me why this hurts me so much more than it hurts her. why can she go on with her life as if what happened only 2 weeks ago happened 6 months ago. it's simple, i fucked up and i feel so guilty for it and she's happy that she got out of a relationship that she didn't want to be in anymore. i would give anything to be back with her right now, but she's found someone better that me, so i'm screwed. i still hope that there's a chance for us to get back together. i dont know what i would do if there isn't. maybe try to find a sharper razor... maybe try to find someone else. everyone always says there's other fish in the sea. and true there may be more than just one fish for everyone. but what if you find the rarest of all the fish out there. you would spend your time trying to catch it again. i'm not posting this for attention. i'm not even sure anyone reads this anymore. i don't think anyone does. and i really doubt madalyne does anymore because she knows how little i post on my livejournal so i don't think she's even checked to see if i have updated for a long time now. this is just somewhere i can talk about what's wrong and there's a slight chance that someone will be able to give me advice that i can follow.
well i'm going to work now. if anyone has advice for me reply and i'll check it out.
well i'm going to work now. if anyone has advice for me reply and i'll check it out.