A great big mess, jumbled and jangled in my head
St. Luke's in Global City is a nice place. It's new and there's barely anyone there, so the staff are very courteous and helpful, and friendly.
Getting the MRI was a totally different matter. I wanted to be sedated, but we were told that there'd be a huge additional payment if we did. Mom was willing to shell out for it, but I thought it was too much. The moment I walked into the room, I knew that I was going to hate every second of the next hour of my life; and I did. I had to change into a scrub, and it was cold, and the MRI machine was very large and very intimidating. They gave me large headphones that played bad ballad-y songs from the 80's and the 90's that I wasn't familiar with. The moment I had to lay down, I closed my eyes, and kept them closed for the whole procedure, except for when they had to inject me with contrasting fluid. Like before, I was strapped down and put halfway into the machine, inside a very narrow tunnel. Hello, claustrophobia. The MRI itself was very loud; banging and ticking and whining, like sirens.
It was insane. The first ten minutes were... ok. I was systematically distracting myself with the music playing, with random thoughts and images in my head. I was counting how many songs had played and estimating their length, thus estimating how much time had passed. But then I lost count. After around 20 minutes everything started going downhill, but I caught a break when they had to inject me with the contrasting fluid, because they had to slide me out and it helped me calm down again. It took a while too, because the attendant at the MRI couldn't find a vein to easily inject into. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that I only had to go through 15 more minutes of the MRI and I would be done. But when the banging noises started I found myself digging my nails into my thigh and I just wanted to die. I started crying and even though it was finished, they couldn't take me out yet because the doctor was checking of the scans were clear enough. I felt so bad just laying there with my eyes shut, crying. It was terrible. It was absolutely terrible.
We ate out and went home. Since I got home, I've been taking naps because I've been having this constant, mild headache. I feel so out of it, I don't even know how I managed to write this down. I think it's a combination of what happened today and the heat. Hopefully I'll feel better after I actually sleep.
Getting the MRI was a totally different matter. I wanted to be sedated, but we were told that there'd be a huge additional payment if we did. Mom was willing to shell out for it, but I thought it was too much. The moment I walked into the room, I knew that I was going to hate every second of the next hour of my life; and I did. I had to change into a scrub, and it was cold, and the MRI machine was very large and very intimidating. They gave me large headphones that played bad ballad-y songs from the 80's and the 90's that I wasn't familiar with. The moment I had to lay down, I closed my eyes, and kept them closed for the whole procedure, except for when they had to inject me with contrasting fluid. Like before, I was strapped down and put halfway into the machine, inside a very narrow tunnel. Hello, claustrophobia. The MRI itself was very loud; banging and ticking and whining, like sirens.
It was insane. The first ten minutes were... ok. I was systematically distracting myself with the music playing, with random thoughts and images in my head. I was counting how many songs had played and estimating their length, thus estimating how much time had passed. But then I lost count. After around 20 minutes everything started going downhill, but I caught a break when they had to inject me with the contrasting fluid, because they had to slide me out and it helped me calm down again. It took a while too, because the attendant at the MRI couldn't find a vein to easily inject into. I tried to comfort myself with the knowledge that I only had to go through 15 more minutes of the MRI and I would be done. But when the banging noises started I found myself digging my nails into my thigh and I just wanted to die. I started crying and even though it was finished, they couldn't take me out yet because the doctor was checking of the scans were clear enough. I felt so bad just laying there with my eyes shut, crying. It was terrible. It was absolutely terrible.
We ate out and went home. Since I got home, I've been taking naps because I've been having this constant, mild headache. I feel so out of it, I don't even know how I managed to write this down. I think it's a combination of what happened today and the heat. Hopefully I'll feel better after I actually sleep.