FANFIC: "Strange/ I'm Not Worried (OneShot)" (JYJ/HoMin YunJae)
Title: "Strange/ I'm Not Worried"
Pairings: YunJae, YooSu (Mentioned)
Writer: black_prophet (Midsummer_Slave)
Genre: FlashFic. Angsty Beginning with a Fluffy Ending
Rating: PG
Warning: YooSu Mentioned, because I can't NOT! Also MinFood Mention. That's about it. Oh, and randomness because I wrote this during the Dog Training Club Board meeting.
A/N: See Warning. Dedicated to onichick because she pimps my fics and is patient with my MIA self... And remains my fangirl. Ayyy Girl!
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they'll never be mine, but that's ok because they belong to each other. I own some CDs, DVDs, and pictures, that's as close as I've gotten so far. Didn't witness any of this, all from the realm of my mind, only for entertainment, etc etc etc. The Lyrics Jaejoong received are from "Love In The Ice", the lyrics Yunho received are from "Hug". The reason behind Jaejoong's should be fairly obvious, and the reason behind Yunho's is from that XMan Episode where Jae sang them to Yunho and talked about how his first "scandal" was with Yunho. You YunJae shippers are with me on this one, I know you are. <3
***
Kim Jaejoong
Journal Entry: 533
We’re practicing again, just the three of us. I stare at the mirrors the whole time, mesmerized by the emptiness of them. Three figures dancing. The instructors don’t explain things to me nearly as well as you used to. But then, you used to show me how you wanted me to move, and they only tell me.
It is strange how much less space three bodies occupy, when compared to five. When we get back to the apartment, I try not to mention how empty the car was with only three of us in it. Standing in the kitchen, I start to think about ‘three verses five’ all over again. I’ve been comparing it ever since that day, the day I don’t want to think about.
It’s alarming how much less food three people eat, when I compare it to what we used to go through as five. Yoochun points out that none of us have felt like eating, and I have to agree that he’s right. Part of my heart is missing, and most of my soul. Why would my stomach want food? I’ve been torn apart and slowly bleeding to death for longer than I care to remember. What could food possibly do for me?
Yoochun says it will get better; we just have to be patient. In this, I’m not sure my SoulMate is right. In this, this one thing, I will be selfish. I will be demanding. I will not be patient. I want you back. I want our son back. I want our five stars to be together again. Now. Not ‘later’, not ‘soon’, now.
Junsu offers up the fact that five normal people can’t put away the same amount of food as Changmin. He’s trying to make me smile. In this, I have to agree that he’s right. No one can eat like our Minnie can. The thought makes us all smile, at least for a moment.
Then my heart twists and I can’t breathe again, and my smile is gone.
Junsu and Yoochun disappear behind blinding tears and a sudden but comforting darkness. ‘Forget’, it whispers to me, and there’s a roaring in my ears that cold be fierce thunder or maybe just my heart. But no, that’s not right. I don’t think it is thunder, and I know my heart doesn’t sound like that anymore. Maybe it was that strong -that loud- before, before two people were ripped out of it… But not since, not anymore. Now it’s a weak, damaged thing, like the rest of me.
‘Sleep’ the darkness orders, and I’m already gone beneath a crushing press of black. For a little while, it doesn’t hurt.
That night I wake up warm and as close to content as I’ve been since that day. I don’t want to think about it, so I push those thoughts away. They leave with little reluctance, lost in the dark of the room and the tangled warmth around me. I shift and someone on my right mutters a protest, a soothing murmur is offered from my left in reply.
Yoochun’s murmur instantly settles Junsu, who cuddles back into my chest with no other words, content. Yoochun’s arm -tossed over my ribs and tangled in the slack of Junsu’s sleep shirt- moves enough to give me a soothing brush.
His voice is soft and sleepy in my ear. “SoulMate?”
“Shhh.” I almost sigh to him, not wanting to think beyond the almost-comfort I’ve found myself in. Stretching slightly, I resettle between them and relax. “Tomorrow.”
“You scared us.” He sounded grumpy now, and more awake, and he’s propped up enough to look down at me and glare.
I manage an almost-smile without much effort; an expression that is not amused enough to make him mad, but will relay that I’m teasing him as I playfully nudge his stomach with my elbow. “I figured, since my bed has been invaded.”
Yoochun sounds hurt, and worried. “We didn’t want to leave you alone.”
“Thank you…” I whisper, turning enough to brush my cheek against his face, and he kisses my temple with a relenting noise, no longer angry with me. “Now sleep.”
“Yes Umma.” He hisses the tease as he lays back down, his arm firmly over my hip and hand curled around Junsu’s.
“Pabo.” I reply. “Go to sleep.”
I can feel his other arm stretch and slide under my pillow, and for awhile I feel his regard. I don’t turn around, feigning sleep so he won’t ask me the thousand questions I can sense trapped just behind his lips. I can tell by how his breath stirs my hair when he finally gives up and slowly slips back into sleep.
I lay on my side, awake, between two sleeping bodies. And it’s strange, even with my bed full of people, I still felt so alone. ‘Baby… I miss you. It’s so lonely without you here.’
“Why does every Journal Entry I write sound like a letter to you?” Jaejoong muttered to thin air, pushing the book across his desk in annoyance. “Why can you just be here, living everything with me, so I don’t have to write it down? What happened to that?”
***
An unknown number appeared on Jaejoong’s phone, trilling brightly to capture his attention. Lifting the device, the lead singer frowned to himself and opened the text message with a certain amount of reluctance, afraid once again his number had been found out by the wrong people.
1 New Text Message:
Sender: Unknown
‘Yes for you that place is here, don’t worry, don’t be afraid anymore. I will protect you.
Yoochun peered over his shoulder, reading the cryptic message. “That’s a little strange.”
Jaejoong smiled, shaking his head as he put the phone away. No, strange was how light his heart suddenly felt. Strange was how he wanted to laugh and cry all at once. “No, it’s not that strange.”
“You’re not worried it’s a stalker?”
“I’m, not worried.”
***
Yunho reached into his jacket pocket, withdrawing his beeping phone with one hand as the other pulled his water bottle away from his lips. It was late in the evening and they were still practicing, but in some ways it made things easier. As strange as that may seem, it made things hurt a little less, at least for as long as he was dancing.
Changmin flopped down onto the bench, leaning on Yunho’s shoulder and watching as his hyung opened a text message from an unknown number.
1 New Text Message:
Sender: Unknown
‘Just for one day, I want to be the bed in your room, Oh Baby~’
Changmin blinked, tilted his head to eye the older male. “Hyung, that’s a little strange.”
Yunho smiled, sliding the phone way. “No, Min-ah. It’s good, not strange.”
“It could be a stalker.”
“I’m not worried.”
***
“Hyung, what are you sending?” Junsu murmured inquiringly, peering at Jaejoong from where he draped half-off the couch.
Jaejoong hesitated in his progress through the room, giving Junsu a look he was deserving of as he inquired about Jaejoong’s affairs while hanging upside down off the couch. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, you know.” Junsu shrugged.
Jae blinked. “No... I really don’t. You’re so strange, Su-ah!”
Junsu pouted. “Never mind that. What’s in the envelope?”
Jaejoong glanced at the envelope in hand, giving his band-mate a distracted smile. “A letter… Don’t worry about it Su.”
Junsu frowned, watching Jaejoong pace out of the room and continuing to stare at him afterward until Yoochun stepped into his line of sight.
“Baby?” Yoochun inquired, tilting his head sideways as though he too was wondering why Junsu was hanging off the couch upside down. “You do know that’s not the way you sit on the couch, right?”
“Has no one else ever done this just because they could?” Junsu demanded, indignant.
“Jaejoong ask you about it too?” Yoochun grinned, sitting on the couch and stroking the two inches or so of skin that was bared by the slow progress of Junsu’s shirt, aided by gravity.
“It’s not strange.” Junsu sniffed. “Not as strange as that letter.”
“What letter?”
***
“Everything smells good.” Yoochun muttered appreciatively, carefully slinking into the kitchen. He and Junsu were careful of Jae’s realm, the lead singer could be lethal with a wooden spoon. “Wow, did you really need to cook so much? I don’t think we’ll be able to eat all that.”
“I’m not worried.” Jaejoong murmured, smiling. His smile widened as the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” Junsu squealed in delight, vaulting over the couch and bolting down the hallway for the front door. He squealed again when he opened the door, this time in surprise.
“Were we expecting company?” Yoochun murmured, leaning on the counter nearest to Jae.
“I’m not sure you would call us company.” Yunho murmured, appearing with an arm around Junsu and a broad smile on his face.
“It hasn’t been that long, hyung. I think we still just count as family.” Changmin chimed in, grinning as he inhaled deeply. “I smell all my favorites.”
“Did you expect me to forget them?” Jaejoong challenged, arching a brow as he glanced over his shoulder.
Changmin shook his head, but smiled shyly. “I might have had a nightmare about it once or twice though.”
Jaejoong tsked and returned to stirring one of the pots, flicking his hand toward the cabinet that held the dishes. “Boys, make yourselves useful and set the table. Min-ah, go wash your hands and hang up your jacket, I know you just tossed it over the couch as you walked past the living room.”
“What about Appa?” Junsu whined as Changmin slipped back out of the room.
Jaejoong smiled, glancing over his shoulder at Yunho before turning to Junsu. “Your Appa and I need to talk. Go set the table.”
Yunho threaded his way around the departing couple and moved to wrap his arms around Jaejoong, holding the older male captive against him. “It’s strange.”
“What is?” Jaejoong asked, turning to face him.
Yunho smiled as Changmin arrived in the dining room and began correcting Junsu’s every move. “In some ways, it feels like nothing has changed.”
Jae frowned. “Does that bother you?”
Yunho shook his head, stealing a kiss. “No, I was just worried that things would have…”
“And now?” Jae murmured, turning back to the stove and turning various dials off.
The spicy scent of different dishes filled the air, but Yunho could still pick out Jaejoong’s delicate lemon and vanilla scent. “I’m not worried.”
“Good.” Jaejoong smiled, turning and stealing a kiss. “Go wrangle the boys for me while I get this out to the table.”
Yunho catches the lead singer when he means to draw away, stealing a deeper kiss. When he releases Jaejoong, he’s all smiles and a playful “Yes dear.”
Jae rolls his eyes and shoves the leader out of the kitchen. “Pabo.”
**
Kim Jaejoong
Journal Entry: 534
Strange how time passes, and things feel different… But the important things remain the same. They’ve gone home for the night, but they’re still here in my heart. We had a wonderful dinner and they stayed later than they should have, and we smiled and laughed the whole time. I don’t know when we’ll get to do this again, but I’m not worried. I know I'll see them again, I know we'll be together again.
And for that I will always, Always Keep The Faith.
***
It's random... Part of it was just written tonight because I couldn't let it 'stop' where it had when I ran out of time at the meeting. So yeah, this was formerly two pages of my cramped handwriting, courtesy of being curled up in a ball on the floor with a clipboard and just rocking out to my DBSK playlist. It has now become the charming little flash fic you see before you. Yes there is angst but fluff & faith are the main ingredients! I hope it brings you smiles! And me comments. SARANGHAE! ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH
Pairings: YunJae, YooSu (Mentioned)
Writer: black_prophet (Midsummer_Slave)
Genre: FlashFic. Angsty Beginning with a Fluffy Ending
Rating: PG
Warning: YooSu Mentioned, because I can't NOT! Also MinFood Mention. That's about it. Oh, and randomness because I wrote this during the Dog Training Club Board meeting.
A/N: See Warning. Dedicated to onichick because she pimps my fics and is patient with my MIA self... And remains my fangirl. Ayyy Girl!
Disclaimer: They're not mine, they'll never be mine, but that's ok because they belong to each other. I own some CDs, DVDs, and pictures, that's as close as I've gotten so far. Didn't witness any of this, all from the realm of my mind, only for entertainment, etc etc etc. The Lyrics Jaejoong received are from "Love In The Ice", the lyrics Yunho received are from "Hug". The reason behind Jaejoong's should be fairly obvious, and the reason behind Yunho's is from that XMan Episode where Jae sang them to Yunho and talked about how his first "scandal" was with Yunho. You YunJae shippers are with me on this one, I know you are. <3
***
Kim Jaejoong
Journal Entry: 533
We’re practicing again, just the three of us. I stare at the mirrors the whole time, mesmerized by the emptiness of them. Three figures dancing. The instructors don’t explain things to me nearly as well as you used to. But then, you used to show me how you wanted me to move, and they only tell me.
It is strange how much less space three bodies occupy, when compared to five. When we get back to the apartment, I try not to mention how empty the car was with only three of us in it. Standing in the kitchen, I start to think about ‘three verses five’ all over again. I’ve been comparing it ever since that day, the day I don’t want to think about.
It’s alarming how much less food three people eat, when I compare it to what we used to go through as five. Yoochun points out that none of us have felt like eating, and I have to agree that he’s right. Part of my heart is missing, and most of my soul. Why would my stomach want food? I’ve been torn apart and slowly bleeding to death for longer than I care to remember. What could food possibly do for me?
Yoochun says it will get better; we just have to be patient. In this, I’m not sure my SoulMate is right. In this, this one thing, I will be selfish. I will be demanding. I will not be patient. I want you back. I want our son back. I want our five stars to be together again. Now. Not ‘later’, not ‘soon’, now.
Junsu offers up the fact that five normal people can’t put away the same amount of food as Changmin. He’s trying to make me smile. In this, I have to agree that he’s right. No one can eat like our Minnie can. The thought makes us all smile, at least for a moment.
Then my heart twists and I can’t breathe again, and my smile is gone.
Junsu and Yoochun disappear behind blinding tears and a sudden but comforting darkness. ‘Forget’, it whispers to me, and there’s a roaring in my ears that cold be fierce thunder or maybe just my heart. But no, that’s not right. I don’t think it is thunder, and I know my heart doesn’t sound like that anymore. Maybe it was that strong -that loud- before, before two people were ripped out of it… But not since, not anymore. Now it’s a weak, damaged thing, like the rest of me.
‘Sleep’ the darkness orders, and I’m already gone beneath a crushing press of black. For a little while, it doesn’t hurt.
That night I wake up warm and as close to content as I’ve been since that day. I don’t want to think about it, so I push those thoughts away. They leave with little reluctance, lost in the dark of the room and the tangled warmth around me. I shift and someone on my right mutters a protest, a soothing murmur is offered from my left in reply.
Yoochun’s murmur instantly settles Junsu, who cuddles back into my chest with no other words, content. Yoochun’s arm -tossed over my ribs and tangled in the slack of Junsu’s sleep shirt- moves enough to give me a soothing brush.
His voice is soft and sleepy in my ear. “SoulMate?”
“Shhh.” I almost sigh to him, not wanting to think beyond the almost-comfort I’ve found myself in. Stretching slightly, I resettle between them and relax. “Tomorrow.”
“You scared us.” He sounded grumpy now, and more awake, and he’s propped up enough to look down at me and glare.
I manage an almost-smile without much effort; an expression that is not amused enough to make him mad, but will relay that I’m teasing him as I playfully nudge his stomach with my elbow. “I figured, since my bed has been invaded.”
Yoochun sounds hurt, and worried. “We didn’t want to leave you alone.”
“Thank you…” I whisper, turning enough to brush my cheek against his face, and he kisses my temple with a relenting noise, no longer angry with me. “Now sleep.”
“Yes Umma.” He hisses the tease as he lays back down, his arm firmly over my hip and hand curled around Junsu’s.
“Pabo.” I reply. “Go to sleep.”
I can feel his other arm stretch and slide under my pillow, and for awhile I feel his regard. I don’t turn around, feigning sleep so he won’t ask me the thousand questions I can sense trapped just behind his lips. I can tell by how his breath stirs my hair when he finally gives up and slowly slips back into sleep.
I lay on my side, awake, between two sleeping bodies. And it’s strange, even with my bed full of people, I still felt so alone. ‘Baby… I miss you. It’s so lonely without you here.’
“Why does every Journal Entry I write sound like a letter to you?” Jaejoong muttered to thin air, pushing the book across his desk in annoyance. “Why can you just be here, living everything with me, so I don’t have to write it down? What happened to that?”
***
An unknown number appeared on Jaejoong’s phone, trilling brightly to capture his attention. Lifting the device, the lead singer frowned to himself and opened the text message with a certain amount of reluctance, afraid once again his number had been found out by the wrong people.
1 New Text Message:
Sender: Unknown
‘Yes for you that place is here, don’t worry, don’t be afraid anymore. I will protect you.
Yoochun peered over his shoulder, reading the cryptic message. “That’s a little strange.”
Jaejoong smiled, shaking his head as he put the phone away. No, strange was how light his heart suddenly felt. Strange was how he wanted to laugh and cry all at once. “No, it’s not that strange.”
“You’re not worried it’s a stalker?”
“I’m, not worried.”
***
Yunho reached into his jacket pocket, withdrawing his beeping phone with one hand as the other pulled his water bottle away from his lips. It was late in the evening and they were still practicing, but in some ways it made things easier. As strange as that may seem, it made things hurt a little less, at least for as long as he was dancing.
Changmin flopped down onto the bench, leaning on Yunho’s shoulder and watching as his hyung opened a text message from an unknown number.
1 New Text Message:
Sender: Unknown
‘Just for one day, I want to be the bed in your room, Oh Baby~’
Changmin blinked, tilted his head to eye the older male. “Hyung, that’s a little strange.”
Yunho smiled, sliding the phone way. “No, Min-ah. It’s good, not strange.”
“It could be a stalker.”
“I’m not worried.”
***
“Hyung, what are you sending?” Junsu murmured inquiringly, peering at Jaejoong from where he draped half-off the couch.
Jaejoong hesitated in his progress through the room, giving Junsu a look he was deserving of as he inquired about Jaejoong’s affairs while hanging upside down off the couch. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, you know.” Junsu shrugged.
Jae blinked. “No... I really don’t. You’re so strange, Su-ah!”
Junsu pouted. “Never mind that. What’s in the envelope?”
Jaejoong glanced at the envelope in hand, giving his band-mate a distracted smile. “A letter… Don’t worry about it Su.”
Junsu frowned, watching Jaejoong pace out of the room and continuing to stare at him afterward until Yoochun stepped into his line of sight.
“Baby?” Yoochun inquired, tilting his head sideways as though he too was wondering why Junsu was hanging off the couch upside down. “You do know that’s not the way you sit on the couch, right?”
“Has no one else ever done this just because they could?” Junsu demanded, indignant.
“Jaejoong ask you about it too?” Yoochun grinned, sitting on the couch and stroking the two inches or so of skin that was bared by the slow progress of Junsu’s shirt, aided by gravity.
“It’s not strange.” Junsu sniffed. “Not as strange as that letter.”
“What letter?”
***
“Everything smells good.” Yoochun muttered appreciatively, carefully slinking into the kitchen. He and Junsu were careful of Jae’s realm, the lead singer could be lethal with a wooden spoon. “Wow, did you really need to cook so much? I don’t think we’ll be able to eat all that.”
“I’m not worried.” Jaejoong murmured, smiling. His smile widened as the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” Junsu squealed in delight, vaulting over the couch and bolting down the hallway for the front door. He squealed again when he opened the door, this time in surprise.
“Were we expecting company?” Yoochun murmured, leaning on the counter nearest to Jae.
“I’m not sure you would call us company.” Yunho murmured, appearing with an arm around Junsu and a broad smile on his face.
“It hasn’t been that long, hyung. I think we still just count as family.” Changmin chimed in, grinning as he inhaled deeply. “I smell all my favorites.”
“Did you expect me to forget them?” Jaejoong challenged, arching a brow as he glanced over his shoulder.
Changmin shook his head, but smiled shyly. “I might have had a nightmare about it once or twice though.”
Jaejoong tsked and returned to stirring one of the pots, flicking his hand toward the cabinet that held the dishes. “Boys, make yourselves useful and set the table. Min-ah, go wash your hands and hang up your jacket, I know you just tossed it over the couch as you walked past the living room.”
“What about Appa?” Junsu whined as Changmin slipped back out of the room.
Jaejoong smiled, glancing over his shoulder at Yunho before turning to Junsu. “Your Appa and I need to talk. Go set the table.”
Yunho threaded his way around the departing couple and moved to wrap his arms around Jaejoong, holding the older male captive against him. “It’s strange.”
“What is?” Jaejoong asked, turning to face him.
Yunho smiled as Changmin arrived in the dining room and began correcting Junsu’s every move. “In some ways, it feels like nothing has changed.”
Jae frowned. “Does that bother you?”
Yunho shook his head, stealing a kiss. “No, I was just worried that things would have…”
“And now?” Jae murmured, turning back to the stove and turning various dials off.
The spicy scent of different dishes filled the air, but Yunho could still pick out Jaejoong’s delicate lemon and vanilla scent. “I’m not worried.”
“Good.” Jaejoong smiled, turning and stealing a kiss. “Go wrangle the boys for me while I get this out to the table.”
Yunho catches the lead singer when he means to draw away, stealing a deeper kiss. When he releases Jaejoong, he’s all smiles and a playful “Yes dear.”
Jae rolls his eyes and shoves the leader out of the kitchen. “Pabo.”
**
Kim Jaejoong
Journal Entry: 534
Strange how time passes, and things feel different… But the important things remain the same. They’ve gone home for the night, but they’re still here in my heart. We had a wonderful dinner and they stayed later than they should have, and we smiled and laughed the whole time. I don’t know when we’ll get to do this again, but I’m not worried. I know I'll see them again, I know we'll be together again.
And for that I will always, Always Keep The Faith.
***
It's random... Part of it was just written tonight because I couldn't let it 'stop' where it had when I ran out of time at the meeting. So yeah, this was formerly two pages of my cramped handwriting, courtesy of being curled up in a ball on the floor with a clipboard and just rocking out to my DBSK playlist. It has now become the charming little flash fic you see before you. Yes there is angst but fluff & faith are the main ingredients! I hope it brings you smiles! And me comments. SARANGHAE! ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH