[Series]A Fragile Heart - The Sequel, Chapter 3
Author : freedomthisway
Rating : PG-13 for now.
Character/Pairing : Eunhyuk, Kangin, Leeteuk, Heechul, Junsu, Sungmin, minor appearance of Siwon, Jang Woo Hyuk, Lee Soo Man, and others/KangHyuk (main), a little bit of KangMin.
Word Count : words for this chapter
Genre : angst, maybe a bit of crack, and then angst again/Office AU
Prologue Summary : It’s the sequel of Betrayal. You need to read that prequel first in order to make sense of this whole series.
In this series, Hyukjae’s story continues. With Junsu behind his back, he’s back to square one as he’s trying to conquer new city, new challenge, and new people, while licking up his wounded heart. Haunted by his past, Hyukjae never wants to deal with anything love-related anymore, but then Kangin is there: a stubborn and pushy and handsome bastard. And he’s Hyukjae’s new boss.
Author’s Note : Okay, first of all, I've been missing for so long. I know. I'm in a hiatus now. A long one, I suppose, since two weeks ago I've been back in the town where I used to go to college. I'm here to apply myself in a university for my Master Degree. The preparations and the registration process and the entrance test are going to be total pain in the ass and I left my comp and my internet connection back home, but I'm hanging on. XD
So for all my f-lists, I'm sorry I can't see you through comments. I miss you all guys~! And therefore I'm sorry too for those of you who had left comments in previous chapter because I really can't reply to those lovely comments right now. I'll do it as soon as I can.
It was beta-ed by the awesome renichifreak.
This chapter is special for imsweet_11 because I love her. I hope you'll like this one too~!
Hyukjae looks up from his lunch to see Junsu grinning widely at him from across the table.
“What? And stop grinning. You look like an idiot.” Hyukjae mutters before taking a bite off his hamburger.
It only makes Junsu grin even wider. “You like him.” He says in a teasing tone, and steals a French fries off Hyukjae’s plate.
Hyukjae looks blankly at Junsu. “Like who?”
Junsu’s eyes gleam on amusement. “Oh, come on. I know that Kangin guy is totally your type, Hyuk.” And he watches in satisfaction as Hyukjae chokes and starts a series of coughing fit. Junsu pats Hyukjae’s back calmly, innocently ignoring Hyukjae’s death stare.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Hyukjae says; wiping his watery eyes after his coughing finally stopped.
“Am I?” Junsu lifts one of his eyebrows. “You’re an open book for me, Lee Hyukjae and I can swear I saw you drooling at the man. But don’t worry, it’s not just you. JungSu and Heechul were practically batting their eyelashes constantly. I mean, hey, if I am gay, I’d be drooling over him too. No need to be ashamed.”
Hyukjae rolls his eyes. “Okay, first of all, Junsu-sshi, I think you’re hallucinating. I didn’t drool and I don’t like him. Secondly, Heechul and my boss will surely skin you alive if they hear what you’ve just said. And third of all, even if I did drool, you moron, he’s a branch manager and has a look like a model. He’s way out of my league.”
“Really? I thought I saw him checking you out back there.” Junsu perseveres.
But Hyukjae decides to ignore him completely and continues his lunch instead.
“You’re so lame.” Junsu sighs and pouts when Hyukjae keeps ignoring him. “I mean, come on. He isn’t that bad.”
Hyukjae glares at Junsu. “And what are you suggesting me to do? Take first flight to Hongkong next morning and declare my endless love for him?”
Junsu admits that’s a point.
“Yeah, well.” Junsu fidgets. “It’s just that it’s been so long since I saw you showing some interest in other man. I think it’ll be good for you if you do.”
As what Junsu said is slowly sinking into his mind, Hyukjae forces himself to swallow whatever left in his mouth before putting down the rest of uneaten hamburgers onto the plate.
He suddenly loses his appetite.
Junsu nervously watches Hyukjae fumbling with his food wrapper in silent, knows exactly from experience that it’s his best friend’s way of giving him initial warning. But Junsu chooses to continue anyway, because he has to. “I mean, I know you’ve been through a lot, Hyuk. And I won’t blame you if you choose to hide inside your shell. But you can’t hide there forever.”
Hyukjae throws his ball of food wrapper into a trash can nearby, completely ignoring Junsu’s words.
Junsu then stares at Hyukjae stirring his ice tea in a circular motion and realizing that he won’t have a response he wants, Junsu sighs again and leans his back onto the chair, frustrated. “Look, it is Seoul, man. You can shout the word ‘gay’ here without having to have people’s eyes glaring at you. Hell, you can even wear a rainbow scarf on your neck and a ring around your left little finger as you take your walk on the street and the only one who might sneer at you will be me because I bet you’ll look stupid in all that get up. Just take JungSu and that witch Kim Heechul as an example. Everybody knows they spend their salary on things like hairdressers and clothing lines to make themselves prettier than a girl. But it’s not because they’re walking around with words ‘I’m gay’ etched on their forehead that makes everybody hates them, right?”
Junsu lets out an ouch! as he feels Hyukjae kicks his foot hard down the table. Rubbing his sore leg, he glares at his best friend. “Yah, what the hell?!”
Hyukjae shush him with one finger on his own lips and hisses. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud, you moron. You’ll be dead if one of those two can hear what you were saying. Besides, what’s your point with all those stupid metaphors you were just spouting?”
Junsu scowls but he decides to let Hyukjae go because kicking him back on his feet won’t make Hyukjae listen to what he’s going to say. “What I’m trying to say is just that you should start going somewhere in your weekend nights instead of locking yourself inside your room and watching awful soap opera. You’re good at dancing, Hyuk. Go to a club or something and show those people a nasty performance.” Leaning forward, he whispers to Hyukjae. “Listen, I know some places. Gay bars and that stuff. And they’re the classy ones, not the kind of place where hustlers can easily be found in its every corner. I can give you the address so here’s what you have to do: go check them out and dance and drink and flirt and do whatever you need to do, and I’m sure at the end of the night, you’ll find yourself hooked up with someone’s nice.”
Hyukjae stares at Junsu, hoping this stupid best friend of his is just joking around. But Junsu’s smug grin is still there and Hyukjae knows that he’s serious. Hyukjae sighs.
“Look, Junsu. I know you’re worrying about me. But I’m perfectly fine with how I am now, seriously.” Hyukjae puts his hand over Junsu’s and squeezes it to assure him, before making a curious face. “Whom did you get those addresses from anyway?”
“Woo Hyuk-hyung told me --at the meeting. Everyone knows he’s a bi.” Junsu answers automatically and then shakes his head. “Whatever, it’s not important. The point is, I don’t believe you buddy. Not one bit. How can someone’s be fine without a love in his life? It’s just not make sense. And don’t think I didn’t see your lonely gaze every time a pair of lovers passed you by.”
Hyukjae’s eyes widen. “Jang Woo Hyuk-sshi is bi? I never knew that.”
Junsu is going to say something about Hyukjae’s clearly ignoring his advice, before something seems to click in his mind and he grins. “You like him? Want me to hook you up? We’re pretty close, you know?”
Hyukjae smacks Junsu’s head in answer. Really, it can’t be helped that Junsu’s stupidity can always brings up his violence side. “Shut up and stop picking your old habit of matchmaking me. I’ve told you, I’m totally fine with the way things are right now. Love is nice and all. But it’s not for me and I’ve made peace with it.” Hyukjae ends his words and rises up to walks back to his cubicle, leaving Junsu grimacing and rubbing his head.
---00o00---
One Month Later
“Now if you please, I introduce to you your new Branch Manager for SM Seoul: Mr. Kim Youngwoon.”
As other members of the meeting is clapping their hands, welcoming Kangin as their new boss, Hyukjae can only sit there with his mouth gaping wide.
It’s all happened too fast. Really, it is. Only yesterday a fax came from SM Hongkong main office, expecting JungSu to make an interoffice memo for every department to announce Mr. Choi Siwon’s being transferred to another branch six towns away starting today. Nothing in the fax explaining about who’s going to be his replacement and for the whole day yesterday the office was buzzing with rumors and speculations.
Yet here they are, suddenly gathered this morning for a meeting with Lee Sung Min and Kangin who apparently just came unexpectedly from Hongkong by plane last night.
And all of a sudden Lee Sung Min announces Kangin as the new Branch Manager.
Hyukjae’s head starts to throb dully.
Kangin stands up, smiles at the applauses and lifts his hand. The applauses cease and the room is quiet.
Clearing his throat, Kangin bows once. “Thank you for the warm welcome. God knows that for the next months, I’ll need any cooperation I can get from all of the branch departments. So, it’ll be a pleasure to work together with you.” Kangin’s words and smile starts a whole new round of applauses.
“As we all know,” Kangin continues after the clapping stop. “SM Seoul is in its critical moment. From now on, it’s going to be up to all of us, to put all our hearts and efforts to bring it into its glory once again. As your new Branch Manager, I’ll say one thing: stop looking back.” Kangin gives each person a sharp stare to punctuate his statement. “Just leave the past be. Learn from it, but let’s set our focus on the future.”
The whole room, including Hyukjae, seems to be paralyzed by Kangin’s authoritative tone and his inspirational words. All of them stares and nods to whatever Kangin’s saying, realizing that maybe this time the man standing in front of them really has the capabilities to drag this company out of the slump.
“Lee Sung Min-sshi and I had discussed all of problems occurred in this branch. And we both agree that amongst them, the core problem of this branch’s downfall is the awfully managed human resources.” Kangin says and stares at the direction of where JungSu and Hyukjae sit side by side, others eyes are following him.
Hyukjae can his feel his face burns under all the staring from so many people and from the corner of his eyes, he sees that JungSu is not in a better state than he is.
“But,” Kangin continues again, and Hyukjae takes a relieved breath as everyone’s eyes is back to Kangin at that. “Like I said before, we won’t look back. Each mistake is nobody else’s but ours. Each of us needs to do self-introspection deep within and let’s ask ourselves, have we given 100% of our abilities to the company?”
Once again, Hyukjae feels as if Kangin’s words have awakened something inside him. Something he has kept inside for so long: his desire to work as best as he could for mere self-satisfaction. Ever since he moved to Seoul, his motivation for work has long been determined by situation and people around him. And Kangin’s words make him wants to change that, to once again take his job as his playground, where he can set his own rules and tries with all of him to reach his goals and enjoys the pleasant feeling he gets when it happens.
Though Hyukjae feels a bit annoyed at the fact that Kangin had blatantly blame him and JungSu earlier in front of this forum for mistakes that are completely JungSu’s faults, still he realizes that Kangin’s words are inspirational, and Hyukjae knows most of people here feel the same as him.
“That’s why,” Kangin speaks again and Hyukjae’s heart skips a beat because Kangin’s eyes are staring at him as he’s doing it. “My first official step as the new Branch Manager is to promote our HRD Staff, Mr. Lee Hyukjae, up to the new position of Assistant Manager.”
Hyukjae gapes on that; so does almost everyone else around and for a long minute the silence in the room is so thick that Hyukjae is sure he can hear the fast beating of his heart clearly.
But then it is broken by Junsu’s sudden cheers of joy and hands clapping, and Hyukjae is just too shocked to properly return Junsu’s grin thrown at his direction as the rest of the people in the meeting room awkwardly start to clap their hands as well.
Hyukjae realizes with nervousness the killing look in Park JungSu’s face. He can see that a few people can’t really hide the jealousy and displease from their own expression as well.
“Hyukjae-sshi?” Sung Min speaks. His tone is expecting and amused at the same time and Hyukjae rushes to stand up and bow towards his direction.
“T…Thank you for this chance that is given to me, Sir.” Hyukjae’s voice is shaking and unsure and he really doesn’t know how things have become like this.
Sung Min smiles. “Congratulations. I hope you and Kangin can lead this branch together into its glory once again. My father and I will count on both of you from now on.” Then he turns his head towards the rest of the people in the room. “I think that’s it for today. I know this company’s structure revision is new and sudden, but I assure you that it’s for the better and I expect everyone can cooperate positively with all these changes. Thank you very much for your hard work, people. This meeting ends here.”
Hyukjae is watching, flustered, as Sung Min gathers all of the files on his desk and leaves the room with Kangin walking beside him. Gulping down, he glances to his sides, realizing that most of people in here haven’t left their seat and is watching him instead.
“Um… “ Hyukjae bites his lips, and bows awkwardly once again to them. From the corner of his eyes, he can see some people finally rise up from their seat and leave the room, whispering amongst themselves as they’re taking their steps out.
Hyukjae straightens his body, and notice JungSu standing beside him.
“It’s so convenient isn’t it, Hyukjae-sshi?” JungSu said with a sneer. “Suddenly promoted to such high position, I’m wondering what kind of trick you must have pulled when people weren’t looking.”
Hyukjae’s cheeks feel hot at the cruel implication behind those words, but he says nothing, and JungSu walks away with a scowl on his face, Heechul by his side.
A pat on his shoulder turns Hyukjae’s eyes off the door. Junsu and Woo Hyuk are standing there next to him, grinning.
“Don’t worry about those witches. It’s probably just jealousy burning their skirts up.” Junsu says. “It seems your awesome presentation last meeting had left a deep impression on those people on top. I always know you can do this.”
Woo Hyuk nods along. “Yep. Right after you finished spouting your amazing ideas at that time, I kept thinking that you were wasting your potential working under JungSu. Hell, you’re a whole lot better than him. Now that you’ve gotten yourself this nice chance, Hyukjae-sshi, make the best out of it, will you?”
Hyukjae blushes and gives them a thankful smile. He is still not sure about all of this, but it is happening no matter what and he can really use all supports he can get.
Hyukjae stays behind though, telling Junsu and Woo Hyuk that he needs some time alone. He is watching as those two stare at him with understanding in their eyes and turn to leave the room, chatting along the way. When he’s finally alone in the meeting room, Hyukjae sighs. Sitting back on his chair, he ponders if this is another turning point that will change his life from now on.
If it is, then Hyukjae needs to buckle up. He needs to work hard to give his best starting tomorrow. He really wants to be someone that he used to be before he met Kim Jongwoon. He won’t mind the emptiness in his heart; he won’t mind using his hand all the time to get himself off; he won’t even mind spending the rest of his days alone.
As long as he can get rid this feeling of worthlessness that has been clawing all over his insides ever since that day Kim Jongwoon said his apology to him. As long as he can be somebody once again that’s worth at least some respect from other people.
He is still drowned in his thought when a knock on the meeting room’s door is heard. Hyukjae looks up and is startled when he sees Kangin’s face.
“Hyukjae-sshi.” Kangin says. “I will expect you to clear your cubicles off your things and move them to your new table in my office by tomorrow.”
“You mean…, we’ll share an office together?” Hyukjae asks in surprise.
One of Kangin’s eyebrows is raised. “Of course we will. You’re my assistant after all. You work close to me will make things much easier, don’t you think?”
Hyukjae nods slowly, still pretty much in awe at this yet another unexpected thing.
“Great, then I’ll see you in our office tomorrow. Right now I’m going to have a meeting with Lee Sung Min, so I’ll leave the company to you for today.” Kangin says and then disappears from the door.
Long after Kangin’s leaving, Hyukjae pinches his arm with blank look on his face. And as he cringes at the stinging pain on his skin, Hyukjae can’t help to stop a grin spreading on his face. What Kangin had said to him will mean that he won’t have to face Park Jung Su’s sarcasm remarks for most of his working time in the future. And it has been so long since he has an office for himself. Though it will officially be his and Kangin’s room, but Hyukjae knows that this is his God given chance to get his life back.
It won’t exactly be a normal life, but at least it’ll be one that he can bear to live.
---00o00---
Hyukjae stares at his new desk in the morning, feeling satisfied at the way his things look on it. There is even a beautifully carved wooden title board with his name written with golden ink on it.
Lee Hyukjae, Assistant Manager is what it says.
Pride seeps into his heart. Grinning, Hyukjae walks to the back of his desk and sits on what supposed-to-be his big comfortable chair, sighing as he leans his back on the soft leather surface.
Suddenly the door is opened and Kangin enters in strides. Hyukjae quickly stands up to bow and greet Kangin. Kangin says nothing but nods back and walks over to his own desk in front of the big glasses windows across the door.
Sitting, Kangin pulls out piles of paperwork from inside his black suitcase and spreads it all over the desk surface. Hyukjae, not knowing clearly on what to do or what to expect of him on their first day working together, is watching him as he scans some of the paper with a frown on his face.
Kangin looks up, staring at Hyukjae with a determined expression in his eyes. “Alright, Hyukjae-sshi. Let’s start making some positive changes in this company.”
There is no smiling or any of that in Kangin’s face as he’s saying that but Hyukjae can see trust and respect in Kangin’s eyes and somehow big chunk of burden that’s been hanging over Hyukjae’s shoulder since yesterday is lifted up all of a sudden and Hyukjae smiles.
---00o00---
Working together in the same room with Kangin for more than 48 hours a week for the past one and a half month, has been giving enough time for Hyukjae to understand Kangin’s personality better.
Kangin is a very straight forward person. Some people might even consider him as harsh. He says what’s on his mind without any sugar coated words and there has been enough time when Hyukjae witnessed some slacking-off employees’ ears turned red at his to-the-point scolding. Hyukjae even had had more than enough taste of it himself.
But Kangin can also be all friendly and sweet words when he needs to be. Every company’s business partner always leaves his office with a smile pasted on their face after their business visits.
Kangin turns out to be a perfectionist, though it suits Hyukjae just fine because it makes him want to try even more to do everything right. And Kangin does his work efficiently; his eyes never leave computer screen as he barks his order to Hyukjae every now and then. Hyukjae does his best to prepare each report, data, and calculation Kangin wants and often they are involved in a heated discussion on plans and programs that need to be done in their effort to improve company’s qualities. Hyukjae schedules and accompanies Kangin to every inspection and visitation to all departments, trying to get better understanding on each of their weak point.
However, despite all his strict attitudes and harsh personalities in work, Hyukjae can tell that Kangin actually cares a lot about every employee in the company. He turns out to be a big softie whenever Hyukjae informs him on a misfortune happening to an employee. He will instantly order Hyukjae to set up support in a form of money and he even will remind Hyukjae to send a greeting card on his behalf. He completely giving his approval on Hyukjae’s programs without hesitation, simply agreeing with Hyukjae’s opinion that making sure the company gives the best benefits and compensations it can afford for all employees will surely bring positive changes in the future. And along with company’s vast improvement, a pay raise and weekly bonuses are no longer a rare event in SM Seoul.
As Hyukjae predicted, those programs work wonders in increasing employees’ loyalty. Interesting bonuses given on every end of job’s challenges that are brought on the workers are also proved to be effective to raise their motivation, creativity and creates a healthy competition amongst them.
SM Seoul is slowly rising up from its slump, and once again Hyukjae finds himself being acknowledged and looked up on by people who used to not spare even a glance at him.
He is no longer just a regular employee that has no existence. People start to pay attention when he’s around and when he’s standing in the elevator, they nods respectfully at him. Even Park Jung Su and Kim Heechul nods their pretty heads at him when he passes by, though he can still pretty much feels their sharp glares on his back.
So it’s pretty much official now. Everything in Hyukjae’s life becomes just like the old days, and Hyukjae is able to go to work with a smile pasted on his face. He feels somewhat satisfied with this change and he really wants to believe that things will stay like the way it has been until many years to come.
But Hyukjae knows better.
He rarely gets what he really wants and each time he finally got it, it wouldn’t be long until he lost it. That’s why Hyukjae can’t help but fears that sooner or later the same thing will happen too. That something or someone will find way to disrupt this moment of happiness and take it away from him.
After all, Hyukjae has learned enough hard lessons to know that in his life, it’s just the way it is.
---00o00---
By the end of their 2nd month as Manger and Assistant, Hyukjae and Kangin have become a solid team, a pair that fits each other in a totally-professional-kind of way.
Hyukjae finds himself feeling comfortable to work with Kangin because their interactions are pretty much strictly behind platonic line. Despite the fact that they are working in the same room everyday, Kangin has never shown any special interest on him. Hyukjae is even certain now that Kangin’s deep gaze on him at that meeting long time ago must have been nothing but his own imagination.
They were cramped together inside a squared room for hours almost everyday, yet there’s no staring, no pick up line, no personal questions coming up here and there. There’s no sudden heart beat skipping, no secretive smiles, and obviously there’s no sexual tension hanging thickly in the air.
There’s absolutely nothing of the sort.
And it’s good because Hyukjae definitely doesn’t expect it otherwise. Like he always said for so many times to Junsu, Hyukjae has no intention whatsoever to involve himself again in things like love or anything else related to that. His past has proved that he is just not cut for romance. He already has too many wounds to patch all over his heart as it is and he doesn’t want to do anything that’ll risk inflicting yet another pain inside of him. Hyukjae simply believes that he won’t be able to take it.
Junsu might be a busy body, but that jerk knows Hyukjae too well. Kangin is indeed a spitting image of everything Hyukjae wants to see in a man inside out. Hyukjae even likes his harshness. The way he does things and says each word that is actually just a reflection of what he values and believes in life. He never even bothers to wear any mask to hide his true self. All of those prove that Kangin is an honest guy. And after all he’s been through, if there’s anything Hyukjae appreciates in a man so much, it will be honesty.
And for these past months, Hyukjae can’t help but think that Kangin is too dangerous for him. He has so much potential to be the cause of another episode of heart breaks in Hyukjae’s life since no matter how many times he denied it, Hyukjae knows that he is attracted to Kangin.
That’s why Hyukjae finds Kangin’s ignorance on him personally as a huge relief. He has even gotten himself used to the fact that Kangin isn’t even looking at him when they are talking and also to Kangin’s harsh ways in dealing with him for each mistake he made. Instead of being offended to Kangin’s sometimes rude scolding, Hyukjae accepted all of it with ease.
Because that way, Hyukjae can create a barrier for his growing feelings for Kangin; a bold line that marks a certain distance in their relationship. One that Hyukjae makes sure will be impossible to be crossed, especially by himself.
Being alone for the rest of your life might sound like a grim idea for most of people. But Hyukjae will definitely prefer it hands down rather than having to go through all the heartache and disappointment all over again.
There’s not much of him left after all the things happened. And he has to fight hard to keep what’s remained of his soul.
---00o00---
Tonight is supposed to be just like another normal night, except for the fact that Hyukjae finds an important document for company’s internal meeting tomorrow inside his suitcase and he realizes he had forgotten to give the copy to Kangin.
It’s bad, because for the meeting to go smoothly tomorrow, Kangin has to memorize what’s inside the document by tonight. It’s such a rare carelessness, really, for both of them. Usually Hyukjae always remembers things like this, and one or two times he didn’t, it was Kangin that reminded him. But apparently tonight is an exception.
Rushing, Hyukjae quickly puts on his coat and go out on his way to Kangin’s penthouse. He’s gotten Kangin’s address saved inside his memory for quite some time, but it’s the first time for him to actually pay a visit. He has no reason whatsoever to do so before.
Getting off the cab, Hyukjae is just standing there on the side of the road; blowing his breath into his gloved hands to get rid off the cold. The penthouse complex where Kangin lives is right there across the street and as Hyukjae is staring at it, somehow he becomes hesitant all of a sudden.
Kangin probably won’t care at all about the fact that Hyukjae is here, but Hyukjae finds that going to his boss’ apartment seems like it has a more private meaning attached to it, something much more personal. He’ll surely know more about Kangin after this. Another side of Kangin will be revealed upon his eyes and he’s afraid that it’ll be something good. Kangin has been perfect up till now. He’s so flawless that Hyukjae can’t even drop his awareness whenever he’s around Kangin for the fear that he’ll get sucked into Kangin’s charm. And if it keeps accumulate then Hyukjae will be pretty much in trouble because even now, he realizes that he is still a person who’s weak at heart.
Taking a deep breath, Hyukjae crosses the street and walks into the building. Passing the guard in front, Hyukjae enters the elevator and presses the button for 10th floor. One by Epik High is being played through out the speaker, and Hyukjae hums along in his effort to get rid of his restlessness.
The elevator goes ‘ping’ and the door slides open. Hyukjae steps out, instantly searching for the right number on each door he’s passing. Counting, he can tell that Kangin’s apartment should be the one at the end of the hallway. He’s probably just a few doors away when suddenly he hears a clattered sound of a door opened. Not too far in front of him, from inside of the supposed-to-be Kangin’s room, a guy walks out. It surprises Hyukjae because the guy is no other than Lee Sung Min.
Hyukjae’s steps are halted. His mind is wondering on why out of all people, SM’s CEO is here. Hyukjae has assumed before that Kangin and Sungmin are somewhat have pretty close relationship, judging from how they act around each other. But to look that casual as he’s visiting one of his employee, their relationship must have been closer than anyone ever thought.
Sungmin looks like he haven’t yet realized that Hyukjae is there so he just stand still, unconsciously trying to make himself invincible. To tell the truth, Lee Sung Min with a secretive grin pasted on his face whenever he sees Hyukjae is always making Hyukjae feel uncomfortable. Sungmin seems to find Hyukjae highly amusing and up until now Hyukjae still can’t understand why. It’s a little disturbing and that’s why instead of approaching, Hyukjae is intended to just wait until Sungmin get close enough before greeting him.
Sungmin is smiling to someone still inside (should be Kangin) and he’s saying something Hyukjae can’t hear before laughing a bit. And the next thing Hyukjae sees is Kangin’s figure finally showing up on the door step. Kangin is reaching for one of Sung Min’s hands to pull him closer. As Kangin leans his face forward to kiss Sungmin passionately, Hyukjae’s jaw is dropped in his surprise.
It makes Hyukjae gape to witness the way both men are looking too absorbed into each other while their tongues are tangled together, oblivious to their surroundings and to the fact that they‘re actually having an audience.
It’s Sungmin who pulls his lips off first. Smiling, he’s saying something again to Kangin. Something that seems like ruining the intimate mood both men have judging from the crease formed on Kangin’s forehead at hearing it.
Sungmin takes a step back and walks away from Kangin, straightly towards Hyukjae’s direction, and that’s when finally he notices Hyukjae. He stops, and it makes Kangin notice Hyukjae too.
Both men are looking at him, surprised. And Hyukjae tries his best to smile and not look so flustered. Awkwardly, he starts to approach them.
“Good evening, Sung Min-sshi.” Hyukjae bows once he’s standing in front of them. Then he looks at Kangin and greets him too in the same fashion.
Sungmin grins, looks totally okay with the fact that Hyukjae is catching him on the act, while Kangin looks like he’s worried; his frown has gotten even deeper.
“Lee Hyukjae-sshi!” Sungmin exclaims, sounding a little too excited for this situation they’re currently in. “It’s a surprise to meet you here.”
Hyukjae can only mutter a ‘yes’ as he keeps hanging his head down, feeling embarrassed.
Sungmin sees that and he glances at Kangin for a second. “Ah, you saw the two of us, didn’t you? Sorry for that.”
Hyukjae’s face instantly lifted up. “Ah, no. It’s me who should be apologizing. I wasn’t trying to peep on you or anything.” He says nervously.
Sungmin chuckles, glancing at the map of document Hyukjae is holding in his hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I’m about to leave anyway. So now you can have Kangin all for yourself. Good night, Hyukjae-sshi.”
As Hyukjae is watching Sungmin walk away Hyukjae wonders if he had heard right, because somehow Sungmin’s words to him just now --though being casually said-- is a bit weird and it sounds like it has some kind of hidden meaning to it.
“So, what is it?” Kangin’s grim tone pulls Hyukjae off his thought and quickly he turns to Kangin.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Kangin-sshi.” He says, fumbling inside his coat. Once he finds the document, he quickly hands it over to the frowning Kangin.
Kangin gazes distastefully at the pieces of papers shoved towards him. Flicking a glance at Hyukjae, he asks, “What the hell is this?”
Hyukjae gulps down. Apparently his sudden visit has somehow disturbed Kangin and now Hyukjae is pretty sure that the older man is pissed off at him. “This is a copy of meeting material for tomorrow, Kangin-sshi. I’m really sorry I had only realized that I forgot to give you this after I get home. I thought you might need it for your preparation so I decided to deliver it to you. I apologize for not letting you know about my visit beforehand.”
Kangin’s gaze is softened at Hyukjae’s explanation. “Thank you.” He said, taking the document from Hyukjae’s hand. “I’m sorry for being rude. It’s just… you being here all of a sudden gave me a surprise.” Kangin said sheepishly, scratching his head and gives Hyukjae a weak smile.
“Ah, if it’s about what I saw earlier, you don’t have to worry, Kangin-sshi. I mean, it’s your personal life and I have no intention whatsoever to talk about it to anyone.” Hyukjae says quickly, a little bit relieved at Kangin’s mood shifting into the better.
Kangin doesn’t say anything, just staring at Hyukjae for a long time. Hyukjae can’t stop himself from fidgeting under those sharp gaze, wondering if he had said something wrong.
But in the end, Kangin simply smiles. “Yeah,” He says with eyes still on Hyukjae. “Thank you, Hyukjae-sshi.”
Hyukjae smiles back. “I’ll take my leave then.” Bowing down slightly, Hyukjae turns back and starts to walk away.
It’s not like Hyukjae expects it. It’s just that an offer to get inside and to have a cup of tea would have been nice, really. But Kangin doesn’t say anything to stop Hyukjae from walking away. Instead, a moment later Hyukjae can hear the sound of the door closed behind him.
Hyukjae sighs. Suddenly the scene of Sungmin and Kangin kissing is flashing inside his head and Hyukjae can feel his face heating up.
It is a shock, that’s what this is.
Hyukjae unconsciously speeds up his steps because he is blushing furiously God dammit, and he really needs to get to his apartment quickly and washes the heat off his face.
He is just a few hundred meters and further away from Kangin’s penthouse now. And he’s too much in trance to pay attention to other people passing him by.
He didn’t expect to see that, after all. Even now, the image it has left on his brain makes his body shivering with lots of things he can’t name.
And it makes Hyukjae frown, because he knows that amongst them are this feeling called jealousy.
TBC
PS: Wish me luck on my test?? xDDD
Rating : PG-13 for now.
Character/Pairing : Eunhyuk, Kangin, Leeteuk, Heechul, Junsu, Sungmin, minor appearance of Siwon, Jang Woo Hyuk, Lee Soo Man, and others/KangHyuk (main), a little bit of KangMin.
Word Count : words for this chapter
Genre : angst, maybe a bit of crack, and then angst again/Office AU
Prologue Summary : It’s the sequel of Betrayal. You need to read that prequel first in order to make sense of this whole series.
In this series, Hyukjae’s story continues. With Junsu behind his back, he’s back to square one as he’s trying to conquer new city, new challenge, and new people, while licking up his wounded heart. Haunted by his past, Hyukjae never wants to deal with anything love-related anymore, but then Kangin is there: a stubborn and pushy and handsome bastard. And he’s Hyukjae’s new boss.
Author’s Note : Okay, first of all, I've been missing for so long. I know. I'm in a hiatus now. A long one, I suppose, since two weeks ago I've been back in the town where I used to go to college. I'm here to apply myself in a university for my Master Degree. The preparations and the registration process and the entrance test are going to be total pain in the ass and I left my comp and my internet connection back home, but I'm hanging on. XD
So for all my f-lists, I'm sorry I can't see you through comments. I miss you all guys~! And therefore I'm sorry too for those of you who had left comments in previous chapter because I really can't reply to those lovely comments right now. I'll do it as soon as I can.
It was beta-ed by the awesome renichifreak.
This chapter is special for imsweet_11 because I love her. I hope you'll like this one too~!
Hyukjae looks up from his lunch to see Junsu grinning widely at him from across the table.
“What? And stop grinning. You look like an idiot.” Hyukjae mutters before taking a bite off his hamburger.
It only makes Junsu grin even wider. “You like him.” He says in a teasing tone, and steals a French fries off Hyukjae’s plate.
Hyukjae looks blankly at Junsu. “Like who?”
Junsu’s eyes gleam on amusement. “Oh, come on. I know that Kangin guy is totally your type, Hyuk.” And he watches in satisfaction as Hyukjae chokes and starts a series of coughing fit. Junsu pats Hyukjae’s back calmly, innocently ignoring Hyukjae’s death stare.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Hyukjae says; wiping his watery eyes after his coughing finally stopped.
“Am I?” Junsu lifts one of his eyebrows. “You’re an open book for me, Lee Hyukjae and I can swear I saw you drooling at the man. But don’t worry, it’s not just you. JungSu and Heechul were practically batting their eyelashes constantly. I mean, hey, if I am gay, I’d be drooling over him too. No need to be ashamed.”
Hyukjae rolls his eyes. “Okay, first of all, Junsu-sshi, I think you’re hallucinating. I didn’t drool and I don’t like him. Secondly, Heechul and my boss will surely skin you alive if they hear what you’ve just said. And third of all, even if I did drool, you moron, he’s a branch manager and has a look like a model. He’s way out of my league.”
“Really? I thought I saw him checking you out back there.” Junsu perseveres.
But Hyukjae decides to ignore him completely and continues his lunch instead.
“You’re so lame.” Junsu sighs and pouts when Hyukjae keeps ignoring him. “I mean, come on. He isn’t that bad.”
Hyukjae glares at Junsu. “And what are you suggesting me to do? Take first flight to Hongkong next morning and declare my endless love for him?”
Junsu admits that’s a point.
“Yeah, well.” Junsu fidgets. “It’s just that it’s been so long since I saw you showing some interest in other man. I think it’ll be good for you if you do.”
As what Junsu said is slowly sinking into his mind, Hyukjae forces himself to swallow whatever left in his mouth before putting down the rest of uneaten hamburgers onto the plate.
He suddenly loses his appetite.
Junsu nervously watches Hyukjae fumbling with his food wrapper in silent, knows exactly from experience that it’s his best friend’s way of giving him initial warning. But Junsu chooses to continue anyway, because he has to. “I mean, I know you’ve been through a lot, Hyuk. And I won’t blame you if you choose to hide inside your shell. But you can’t hide there forever.”
Hyukjae throws his ball of food wrapper into a trash can nearby, completely ignoring Junsu’s words.
Junsu then stares at Hyukjae stirring his ice tea in a circular motion and realizing that he won’t have a response he wants, Junsu sighs again and leans his back onto the chair, frustrated. “Look, it is Seoul, man. You can shout the word ‘gay’ here without having to have people’s eyes glaring at you. Hell, you can even wear a rainbow scarf on your neck and a ring around your left little finger as you take your walk on the street and the only one who might sneer at you will be me because I bet you’ll look stupid in all that get up. Just take JungSu and that witch Kim Heechul as an example. Everybody knows they spend their salary on things like hairdressers and clothing lines to make themselves prettier than a girl. But it’s not because they’re walking around with words ‘I’m gay’ etched on their forehead that makes everybody hates them, right?”
Junsu lets out an ouch! as he feels Hyukjae kicks his foot hard down the table. Rubbing his sore leg, he glares at his best friend. “Yah, what the hell?!”
Hyukjae shush him with one finger on his own lips and hisses. “Don’t say stuff like that out loud, you moron. You’ll be dead if one of those two can hear what you were saying. Besides, what’s your point with all those stupid metaphors you were just spouting?”
Junsu scowls but he decides to let Hyukjae go because kicking him back on his feet won’t make Hyukjae listen to what he’s going to say. “What I’m trying to say is just that you should start going somewhere in your weekend nights instead of locking yourself inside your room and watching awful soap opera. You’re good at dancing, Hyuk. Go to a club or something and show those people a nasty performance.” Leaning forward, he whispers to Hyukjae. “Listen, I know some places. Gay bars and that stuff. And they’re the classy ones, not the kind of place where hustlers can easily be found in its every corner. I can give you the address so here’s what you have to do: go check them out and dance and drink and flirt and do whatever you need to do, and I’m sure at the end of the night, you’ll find yourself hooked up with someone’s nice.”
Hyukjae stares at Junsu, hoping this stupid best friend of his is just joking around. But Junsu’s smug grin is still there and Hyukjae knows that he’s serious. Hyukjae sighs.
“Look, Junsu. I know you’re worrying about me. But I’m perfectly fine with how I am now, seriously.” Hyukjae puts his hand over Junsu’s and squeezes it to assure him, before making a curious face. “Whom did you get those addresses from anyway?”
“Woo Hyuk-hyung told me --at the meeting. Everyone knows he’s a bi.” Junsu answers automatically and then shakes his head. “Whatever, it’s not important. The point is, I don’t believe you buddy. Not one bit. How can someone’s be fine without a love in his life? It’s just not make sense. And don’t think I didn’t see your lonely gaze every time a pair of lovers passed you by.”
Hyukjae’s eyes widen. “Jang Woo Hyuk-sshi is bi? I never knew that.”
Junsu is going to say something about Hyukjae’s clearly ignoring his advice, before something seems to click in his mind and he grins. “You like him? Want me to hook you up? We’re pretty close, you know?”
Hyukjae smacks Junsu’s head in answer. Really, it can’t be helped that Junsu’s stupidity can always brings up his violence side. “Shut up and stop picking your old habit of matchmaking me. I’ve told you, I’m totally fine with the way things are right now. Love is nice and all. But it’s not for me and I’ve made peace with it.” Hyukjae ends his words and rises up to walks back to his cubicle, leaving Junsu grimacing and rubbing his head.
---00o00---
One Month Later
“Now if you please, I introduce to you your new Branch Manager for SM Seoul: Mr. Kim Youngwoon.”
As other members of the meeting is clapping their hands, welcoming Kangin as their new boss, Hyukjae can only sit there with his mouth gaping wide.
It’s all happened too fast. Really, it is. Only yesterday a fax came from SM Hongkong main office, expecting JungSu to make an interoffice memo for every department to announce Mr. Choi Siwon’s being transferred to another branch six towns away starting today. Nothing in the fax explaining about who’s going to be his replacement and for the whole day yesterday the office was buzzing with rumors and speculations.
Yet here they are, suddenly gathered this morning for a meeting with Lee Sung Min and Kangin who apparently just came unexpectedly from Hongkong by plane last night.
And all of a sudden Lee Sung Min announces Kangin as the new Branch Manager.
Hyukjae’s head starts to throb dully.
Kangin stands up, smiles at the applauses and lifts his hand. The applauses cease and the room is quiet.
Clearing his throat, Kangin bows once. “Thank you for the warm welcome. God knows that for the next months, I’ll need any cooperation I can get from all of the branch departments. So, it’ll be a pleasure to work together with you.” Kangin’s words and smile starts a whole new round of applauses.
“As we all know,” Kangin continues after the clapping stop. “SM Seoul is in its critical moment. From now on, it’s going to be up to all of us, to put all our hearts and efforts to bring it into its glory once again. As your new Branch Manager, I’ll say one thing: stop looking back.” Kangin gives each person a sharp stare to punctuate his statement. “Just leave the past be. Learn from it, but let’s set our focus on the future.”
The whole room, including Hyukjae, seems to be paralyzed by Kangin’s authoritative tone and his inspirational words. All of them stares and nods to whatever Kangin’s saying, realizing that maybe this time the man standing in front of them really has the capabilities to drag this company out of the slump.
“Lee Sung Min-sshi and I had discussed all of problems occurred in this branch. And we both agree that amongst them, the core problem of this branch’s downfall is the awfully managed human resources.” Kangin says and stares at the direction of where JungSu and Hyukjae sit side by side, others eyes are following him.
Hyukjae can his feel his face burns under all the staring from so many people and from the corner of his eyes, he sees that JungSu is not in a better state than he is.
“But,” Kangin continues again, and Hyukjae takes a relieved breath as everyone’s eyes is back to Kangin at that. “Like I said before, we won’t look back. Each mistake is nobody else’s but ours. Each of us needs to do self-introspection deep within and let’s ask ourselves, have we given 100% of our abilities to the company?”
Once again, Hyukjae feels as if Kangin’s words have awakened something inside him. Something he has kept inside for so long: his desire to work as best as he could for mere self-satisfaction. Ever since he moved to Seoul, his motivation for work has long been determined by situation and people around him. And Kangin’s words make him wants to change that, to once again take his job as his playground, where he can set his own rules and tries with all of him to reach his goals and enjoys the pleasant feeling he gets when it happens.
Though Hyukjae feels a bit annoyed at the fact that Kangin had blatantly blame him and JungSu earlier in front of this forum for mistakes that are completely JungSu’s faults, still he realizes that Kangin’s words are inspirational, and Hyukjae knows most of people here feel the same as him.
“That’s why,” Kangin speaks again and Hyukjae’s heart skips a beat because Kangin’s eyes are staring at him as he’s doing it. “My first official step as the new Branch Manager is to promote our HRD Staff, Mr. Lee Hyukjae, up to the new position of Assistant Manager.”
Hyukjae gapes on that; so does almost everyone else around and for a long minute the silence in the room is so thick that Hyukjae is sure he can hear the fast beating of his heart clearly.
But then it is broken by Junsu’s sudden cheers of joy and hands clapping, and Hyukjae is just too shocked to properly return Junsu’s grin thrown at his direction as the rest of the people in the meeting room awkwardly start to clap their hands as well.
Hyukjae realizes with nervousness the killing look in Park JungSu’s face. He can see that a few people can’t really hide the jealousy and displease from their own expression as well.
“Hyukjae-sshi?” Sung Min speaks. His tone is expecting and amused at the same time and Hyukjae rushes to stand up and bow towards his direction.
“T…Thank you for this chance that is given to me, Sir.” Hyukjae’s voice is shaking and unsure and he really doesn’t know how things have become like this.
Sung Min smiles. “Congratulations. I hope you and Kangin can lead this branch together into its glory once again. My father and I will count on both of you from now on.” Then he turns his head towards the rest of the people in the room. “I think that’s it for today. I know this company’s structure revision is new and sudden, but I assure you that it’s for the better and I expect everyone can cooperate positively with all these changes. Thank you very much for your hard work, people. This meeting ends here.”
Hyukjae is watching, flustered, as Sung Min gathers all of the files on his desk and leaves the room with Kangin walking beside him. Gulping down, he glances to his sides, realizing that most of people in here haven’t left their seat and is watching him instead.
“Um… “ Hyukjae bites his lips, and bows awkwardly once again to them. From the corner of his eyes, he can see some people finally rise up from their seat and leave the room, whispering amongst themselves as they’re taking their steps out.
Hyukjae straightens his body, and notice JungSu standing beside him.
“It’s so convenient isn’t it, Hyukjae-sshi?” JungSu said with a sneer. “Suddenly promoted to such high position, I’m wondering what kind of trick you must have pulled when people weren’t looking.”
Hyukjae’s cheeks feel hot at the cruel implication behind those words, but he says nothing, and JungSu walks away with a scowl on his face, Heechul by his side.
A pat on his shoulder turns Hyukjae’s eyes off the door. Junsu and Woo Hyuk are standing there next to him, grinning.
“Don’t worry about those witches. It’s probably just jealousy burning their skirts up.” Junsu says. “It seems your awesome presentation last meeting had left a deep impression on those people on top. I always know you can do this.”
Woo Hyuk nods along. “Yep. Right after you finished spouting your amazing ideas at that time, I kept thinking that you were wasting your potential working under JungSu. Hell, you’re a whole lot better than him. Now that you’ve gotten yourself this nice chance, Hyukjae-sshi, make the best out of it, will you?”
Hyukjae blushes and gives them a thankful smile. He is still not sure about all of this, but it is happening no matter what and he can really use all supports he can get.
Hyukjae stays behind though, telling Junsu and Woo Hyuk that he needs some time alone. He is watching as those two stare at him with understanding in their eyes and turn to leave the room, chatting along the way. When he’s finally alone in the meeting room, Hyukjae sighs. Sitting back on his chair, he ponders if this is another turning point that will change his life from now on.
If it is, then Hyukjae needs to buckle up. He needs to work hard to give his best starting tomorrow. He really wants to be someone that he used to be before he met Kim Jongwoon. He won’t mind the emptiness in his heart; he won’t mind using his hand all the time to get himself off; he won’t even mind spending the rest of his days alone.
As long as he can get rid this feeling of worthlessness that has been clawing all over his insides ever since that day Kim Jongwoon said his apology to him. As long as he can be somebody once again that’s worth at least some respect from other people.
He is still drowned in his thought when a knock on the meeting room’s door is heard. Hyukjae looks up and is startled when he sees Kangin’s face.
“Hyukjae-sshi.” Kangin says. “I will expect you to clear your cubicles off your things and move them to your new table in my office by tomorrow.”
“You mean…, we’ll share an office together?” Hyukjae asks in surprise.
One of Kangin’s eyebrows is raised. “Of course we will. You’re my assistant after all. You work close to me will make things much easier, don’t you think?”
Hyukjae nods slowly, still pretty much in awe at this yet another unexpected thing.
“Great, then I’ll see you in our office tomorrow. Right now I’m going to have a meeting with Lee Sung Min, so I’ll leave the company to you for today.” Kangin says and then disappears from the door.
Long after Kangin’s leaving, Hyukjae pinches his arm with blank look on his face. And as he cringes at the stinging pain on his skin, Hyukjae can’t help to stop a grin spreading on his face. What Kangin had said to him will mean that he won’t have to face Park Jung Su’s sarcasm remarks for most of his working time in the future. And it has been so long since he has an office for himself. Though it will officially be his and Kangin’s room, but Hyukjae knows that this is his God given chance to get his life back.
It won’t exactly be a normal life, but at least it’ll be one that he can bear to live.
---00o00---
Hyukjae stares at his new desk in the morning, feeling satisfied at the way his things look on it. There is even a beautifully carved wooden title board with his name written with golden ink on it.
Lee Hyukjae, Assistant Manager is what it says.
Pride seeps into his heart. Grinning, Hyukjae walks to the back of his desk and sits on what supposed-to-be his big comfortable chair, sighing as he leans his back on the soft leather surface.
Suddenly the door is opened and Kangin enters in strides. Hyukjae quickly stands up to bow and greet Kangin. Kangin says nothing but nods back and walks over to his own desk in front of the big glasses windows across the door.
Sitting, Kangin pulls out piles of paperwork from inside his black suitcase and spreads it all over the desk surface. Hyukjae, not knowing clearly on what to do or what to expect of him on their first day working together, is watching him as he scans some of the paper with a frown on his face.
Kangin looks up, staring at Hyukjae with a determined expression in his eyes. “Alright, Hyukjae-sshi. Let’s start making some positive changes in this company.”
There is no smiling or any of that in Kangin’s face as he’s saying that but Hyukjae can see trust and respect in Kangin’s eyes and somehow big chunk of burden that’s been hanging over Hyukjae’s shoulder since yesterday is lifted up all of a sudden and Hyukjae smiles.
---00o00---
Working together in the same room with Kangin for more than 48 hours a week for the past one and a half month, has been giving enough time for Hyukjae to understand Kangin’s personality better.
Kangin is a very straight forward person. Some people might even consider him as harsh. He says what’s on his mind without any sugar coated words and there has been enough time when Hyukjae witnessed some slacking-off employees’ ears turned red at his to-the-point scolding. Hyukjae even had had more than enough taste of it himself.
But Kangin can also be all friendly and sweet words when he needs to be. Every company’s business partner always leaves his office with a smile pasted on their face after their business visits.
Kangin turns out to be a perfectionist, though it suits Hyukjae just fine because it makes him want to try even more to do everything right. And Kangin does his work efficiently; his eyes never leave computer screen as he barks his order to Hyukjae every now and then. Hyukjae does his best to prepare each report, data, and calculation Kangin wants and often they are involved in a heated discussion on plans and programs that need to be done in their effort to improve company’s qualities. Hyukjae schedules and accompanies Kangin to every inspection and visitation to all departments, trying to get better understanding on each of their weak point.
However, despite all his strict attitudes and harsh personalities in work, Hyukjae can tell that Kangin actually cares a lot about every employee in the company. He turns out to be a big softie whenever Hyukjae informs him on a misfortune happening to an employee. He will instantly order Hyukjae to set up support in a form of money and he even will remind Hyukjae to send a greeting card on his behalf. He completely giving his approval on Hyukjae’s programs without hesitation, simply agreeing with Hyukjae’s opinion that making sure the company gives the best benefits and compensations it can afford for all employees will surely bring positive changes in the future. And along with company’s vast improvement, a pay raise and weekly bonuses are no longer a rare event in SM Seoul.
As Hyukjae predicted, those programs work wonders in increasing employees’ loyalty. Interesting bonuses given on every end of job’s challenges that are brought on the workers are also proved to be effective to raise their motivation, creativity and creates a healthy competition amongst them.
SM Seoul is slowly rising up from its slump, and once again Hyukjae finds himself being acknowledged and looked up on by people who used to not spare even a glance at him.
He is no longer just a regular employee that has no existence. People start to pay attention when he’s around and when he’s standing in the elevator, they nods respectfully at him. Even Park Jung Su and Kim Heechul nods their pretty heads at him when he passes by, though he can still pretty much feels their sharp glares on his back.
So it’s pretty much official now. Everything in Hyukjae’s life becomes just like the old days, and Hyukjae is able to go to work with a smile pasted on his face. He feels somewhat satisfied with this change and he really wants to believe that things will stay like the way it has been until many years to come.
But Hyukjae knows better.
He rarely gets what he really wants and each time he finally got it, it wouldn’t be long until he lost it. That’s why Hyukjae can’t help but fears that sooner or later the same thing will happen too. That something or someone will find way to disrupt this moment of happiness and take it away from him.
After all, Hyukjae has learned enough hard lessons to know that in his life, it’s just the way it is.
---00o00---
By the end of their 2nd month as Manger and Assistant, Hyukjae and Kangin have become a solid team, a pair that fits each other in a totally-professional-kind of way.
Hyukjae finds himself feeling comfortable to work with Kangin because their interactions are pretty much strictly behind platonic line. Despite the fact that they are working in the same room everyday, Kangin has never shown any special interest on him. Hyukjae is even certain now that Kangin’s deep gaze on him at that meeting long time ago must have been nothing but his own imagination.
They were cramped together inside a squared room for hours almost everyday, yet there’s no staring, no pick up line, no personal questions coming up here and there. There’s no sudden heart beat skipping, no secretive smiles, and obviously there’s no sexual tension hanging thickly in the air.
There’s absolutely nothing of the sort.
And it’s good because Hyukjae definitely doesn’t expect it otherwise. Like he always said for so many times to Junsu, Hyukjae has no intention whatsoever to involve himself again in things like love or anything else related to that. His past has proved that he is just not cut for romance. He already has too many wounds to patch all over his heart as it is and he doesn’t want to do anything that’ll risk inflicting yet another pain inside of him. Hyukjae simply believes that he won’t be able to take it.
Junsu might be a busy body, but that jerk knows Hyukjae too well. Kangin is indeed a spitting image of everything Hyukjae wants to see in a man inside out. Hyukjae even likes his harshness. The way he does things and says each word that is actually just a reflection of what he values and believes in life. He never even bothers to wear any mask to hide his true self. All of those prove that Kangin is an honest guy. And after all he’s been through, if there’s anything Hyukjae appreciates in a man so much, it will be honesty.
And for these past months, Hyukjae can’t help but think that Kangin is too dangerous for him. He has so much potential to be the cause of another episode of heart breaks in Hyukjae’s life since no matter how many times he denied it, Hyukjae knows that he is attracted to Kangin.
That’s why Hyukjae finds Kangin’s ignorance on him personally as a huge relief. He has even gotten himself used to the fact that Kangin isn’t even looking at him when they are talking and also to Kangin’s harsh ways in dealing with him for each mistake he made. Instead of being offended to Kangin’s sometimes rude scolding, Hyukjae accepted all of it with ease.
Because that way, Hyukjae can create a barrier for his growing feelings for Kangin; a bold line that marks a certain distance in their relationship. One that Hyukjae makes sure will be impossible to be crossed, especially by himself.
Being alone for the rest of your life might sound like a grim idea for most of people. But Hyukjae will definitely prefer it hands down rather than having to go through all the heartache and disappointment all over again.
There’s not much of him left after all the things happened. And he has to fight hard to keep what’s remained of his soul.
---00o00---
Tonight is supposed to be just like another normal night, except for the fact that Hyukjae finds an important document for company’s internal meeting tomorrow inside his suitcase and he realizes he had forgotten to give the copy to Kangin.
It’s bad, because for the meeting to go smoothly tomorrow, Kangin has to memorize what’s inside the document by tonight. It’s such a rare carelessness, really, for both of them. Usually Hyukjae always remembers things like this, and one or two times he didn’t, it was Kangin that reminded him. But apparently tonight is an exception.
Rushing, Hyukjae quickly puts on his coat and go out on his way to Kangin’s penthouse. He’s gotten Kangin’s address saved inside his memory for quite some time, but it’s the first time for him to actually pay a visit. He has no reason whatsoever to do so before.
Getting off the cab, Hyukjae is just standing there on the side of the road; blowing his breath into his gloved hands to get rid off the cold. The penthouse complex where Kangin lives is right there across the street and as Hyukjae is staring at it, somehow he becomes hesitant all of a sudden.
Kangin probably won’t care at all about the fact that Hyukjae is here, but Hyukjae finds that going to his boss’ apartment seems like it has a more private meaning attached to it, something much more personal. He’ll surely know more about Kangin after this. Another side of Kangin will be revealed upon his eyes and he’s afraid that it’ll be something good. Kangin has been perfect up till now. He’s so flawless that Hyukjae can’t even drop his awareness whenever he’s around Kangin for the fear that he’ll get sucked into Kangin’s charm. And if it keeps accumulate then Hyukjae will be pretty much in trouble because even now, he realizes that he is still a person who’s weak at heart.
Taking a deep breath, Hyukjae crosses the street and walks into the building. Passing the guard in front, Hyukjae enters the elevator and presses the button for 10th floor. One by Epik High is being played through out the speaker, and Hyukjae hums along in his effort to get rid of his restlessness.
The elevator goes ‘ping’ and the door slides open. Hyukjae steps out, instantly searching for the right number on each door he’s passing. Counting, he can tell that Kangin’s apartment should be the one at the end of the hallway. He’s probably just a few doors away when suddenly he hears a clattered sound of a door opened. Not too far in front of him, from inside of the supposed-to-be Kangin’s room, a guy walks out. It surprises Hyukjae because the guy is no other than Lee Sung Min.
Hyukjae’s steps are halted. His mind is wondering on why out of all people, SM’s CEO is here. Hyukjae has assumed before that Kangin and Sungmin are somewhat have pretty close relationship, judging from how they act around each other. But to look that casual as he’s visiting one of his employee, their relationship must have been closer than anyone ever thought.
Sungmin looks like he haven’t yet realized that Hyukjae is there so he just stand still, unconsciously trying to make himself invincible. To tell the truth, Lee Sung Min with a secretive grin pasted on his face whenever he sees Hyukjae is always making Hyukjae feel uncomfortable. Sungmin seems to find Hyukjae highly amusing and up until now Hyukjae still can’t understand why. It’s a little disturbing and that’s why instead of approaching, Hyukjae is intended to just wait until Sungmin get close enough before greeting him.
Sungmin is smiling to someone still inside (should be Kangin) and he’s saying something Hyukjae can’t hear before laughing a bit. And the next thing Hyukjae sees is Kangin’s figure finally showing up on the door step. Kangin is reaching for one of Sung Min’s hands to pull him closer. As Kangin leans his face forward to kiss Sungmin passionately, Hyukjae’s jaw is dropped in his surprise.
It makes Hyukjae gape to witness the way both men are looking too absorbed into each other while their tongues are tangled together, oblivious to their surroundings and to the fact that they‘re actually having an audience.
It’s Sungmin who pulls his lips off first. Smiling, he’s saying something again to Kangin. Something that seems like ruining the intimate mood both men have judging from the crease formed on Kangin’s forehead at hearing it.
Sungmin takes a step back and walks away from Kangin, straightly towards Hyukjae’s direction, and that’s when finally he notices Hyukjae. He stops, and it makes Kangin notice Hyukjae too.
Both men are looking at him, surprised. And Hyukjae tries his best to smile and not look so flustered. Awkwardly, he starts to approach them.
“Good evening, Sung Min-sshi.” Hyukjae bows once he’s standing in front of them. Then he looks at Kangin and greets him too in the same fashion.
Sungmin grins, looks totally okay with the fact that Hyukjae is catching him on the act, while Kangin looks like he’s worried; his frown has gotten even deeper.
“Lee Hyukjae-sshi!” Sungmin exclaims, sounding a little too excited for this situation they’re currently in. “It’s a surprise to meet you here.”
Hyukjae can only mutter a ‘yes’ as he keeps hanging his head down, feeling embarrassed.
Sungmin sees that and he glances at Kangin for a second. “Ah, you saw the two of us, didn’t you? Sorry for that.”
Hyukjae’s face instantly lifted up. “Ah, no. It’s me who should be apologizing. I wasn’t trying to peep on you or anything.” He says nervously.
Sungmin chuckles, glancing at the map of document Hyukjae is holding in his hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I’m about to leave anyway. So now you can have Kangin all for yourself. Good night, Hyukjae-sshi.”
As Hyukjae is watching Sungmin walk away Hyukjae wonders if he had heard right, because somehow Sungmin’s words to him just now --though being casually said-- is a bit weird and it sounds like it has some kind of hidden meaning to it.
“So, what is it?” Kangin’s grim tone pulls Hyukjae off his thought and quickly he turns to Kangin.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Kangin-sshi.” He says, fumbling inside his coat. Once he finds the document, he quickly hands it over to the frowning Kangin.
Kangin gazes distastefully at the pieces of papers shoved towards him. Flicking a glance at Hyukjae, he asks, “What the hell is this?”
Hyukjae gulps down. Apparently his sudden visit has somehow disturbed Kangin and now Hyukjae is pretty sure that the older man is pissed off at him. “This is a copy of meeting material for tomorrow, Kangin-sshi. I’m really sorry I had only realized that I forgot to give you this after I get home. I thought you might need it for your preparation so I decided to deliver it to you. I apologize for not letting you know about my visit beforehand.”
Kangin’s gaze is softened at Hyukjae’s explanation. “Thank you.” He said, taking the document from Hyukjae’s hand. “I’m sorry for being rude. It’s just… you being here all of a sudden gave me a surprise.” Kangin said sheepishly, scratching his head and gives Hyukjae a weak smile.
“Ah, if it’s about what I saw earlier, you don’t have to worry, Kangin-sshi. I mean, it’s your personal life and I have no intention whatsoever to talk about it to anyone.” Hyukjae says quickly, a little bit relieved at Kangin’s mood shifting into the better.
Kangin doesn’t say anything, just staring at Hyukjae for a long time. Hyukjae can’t stop himself from fidgeting under those sharp gaze, wondering if he had said something wrong.
But in the end, Kangin simply smiles. “Yeah,” He says with eyes still on Hyukjae. “Thank you, Hyukjae-sshi.”
Hyukjae smiles back. “I’ll take my leave then.” Bowing down slightly, Hyukjae turns back and starts to walk away.
It’s not like Hyukjae expects it. It’s just that an offer to get inside and to have a cup of tea would have been nice, really. But Kangin doesn’t say anything to stop Hyukjae from walking away. Instead, a moment later Hyukjae can hear the sound of the door closed behind him.
Hyukjae sighs. Suddenly the scene of Sungmin and Kangin kissing is flashing inside his head and Hyukjae can feel his face heating up.
It is a shock, that’s what this is.
Hyukjae unconsciously speeds up his steps because he is blushing furiously God dammit, and he really needs to get to his apartment quickly and washes the heat off his face.
He is just a few hundred meters and further away from Kangin’s penthouse now. And he’s too much in trance to pay attention to other people passing him by.
He didn’t expect to see that, after all. Even now, the image it has left on his brain makes his body shivering with lots of things he can’t name.
And it makes Hyukjae frown, because he knows that amongst them are this feeling called jealousy.
TBC
PS: Wish me luck on my test?? xDDD