I just kept thinking, "Even in death, this never stops." It never ends.
I just scalded all the tastebuds off my tounge with hot chocolate. Tastes like life.
I had to close at work last night only to have to be at a meeting again this morning at 7 a.m,. Thinking I could cram in about 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up, I tried in vain to sleep. I not only suceeded in thinking through horrible subjects (that I keep telling myself I won't think about) for hours on end, but also in mutilating my nails as I tend to do when I actually lay down. See, the problem is, usually this only takes about 1 - 1 1/2 hours out of my expected sleep. This time it took all night. No sleepy for meeeeeee!!! Fuck my brain. Every night I go to sleep (when I do actually accomplish sleep) thinking of an image of myself with blood and brains spattered about my pillow in a weak attempt to prevent myself from thought and over-analysis. It seems to have stopped working.
Meeting being over with, I have to be at work again at noon. That being said, no one should attempt to contact me until after 7 p.m. tomorrow night. I am awake... not as a beginning of today, but as a continuation of yesterday -- therefore I hate life and pretty much everyone else in it as well.
I had to close at work last night only to have to be at a meeting again this morning at 7 a.m,. Thinking I could cram in about 4 hours of sleep before I had to get up, I tried in vain to sleep. I not only suceeded in thinking through horrible subjects (that I keep telling myself I won't think about) for hours on end, but also in mutilating my nails as I tend to do when I actually lay down. See, the problem is, usually this only takes about 1 - 1 1/2 hours out of my expected sleep. This time it took all night. No sleepy for meeeeeee!!! Fuck my brain. Every night I go to sleep (when I do actually accomplish sleep) thinking of an image of myself with blood and brains spattered about my pillow in a weak attempt to prevent myself from thought and over-analysis. It seems to have stopped working.
Meeting being over with, I have to be at work again at noon. That being said, no one should attempt to contact me until after 7 p.m. tomorrow night. I am awake... not as a beginning of today, but as a continuation of yesterday -- therefore I hate life and pretty much everyone else in it as well.