It Pains Me To See What I Have Become
(sigh) So, while I was at work today, some of my co-workers came to me and asked me about about Eddy's murder.
I told them what I knew and what had happened at my neighborhood. The paper came today and everyone crowded around it. Even the people that didn't know the guy.
The other black guy at work came to me and we had a bit of a discussion. It was over the murder of course. I later became annoyed and told him "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."
Eddson became enraged and said "Don't you care about all yo niggas?" I turned around and said "I'm not like you, or will ever be like you, I'm not ghetto and never will be. Eddy was a friend but, I don't care about him being shot, I care about why, and by whom."
Eddson and I continued into the argument until my boss could tell it was getting outta hand. It ended with:
me: If people were alittle more intellegent and not volitile, deaths in this world would begin to decrease.
Eddson: No, If niggas like you were more into their own culture cheese would be easier to obtain for our people.
me: Its "niggas" like me who stay smart and alive. Its niggas like you who kill us and yourselves. If Cord and "Bam Bam" or whatever his real name is. would have thought their plan out more, they might be out job hunting and making a honest dollar and Eddy would still be alive.
Eddson: Fuck you man. They need to get outta jail and plug your ass. Maybe that'll teach you to wake up and stop trying to act white.
me: I'm acting white. I'm acting like I should. Like me. Brian. And maybe if they tried to act like someone with commom sence, Eddy would still be alive and Cord and "Bam Bam" wouldn't be facing life in prison/ the death penalty.
Eddson: Fuck you!! Fuckin' oreo chocolate covered white boy. Yous a white washed bitch!!!
And thats when Crystal broke us up. She saw what was happening and sent him home. Meanwhile I stayed and just sat there wondering. I paraphrased the confrontation, but washing those dishes, I almost cried.
Listening to Eddson yell and curse at me, I realized one thing. Things will probably never change.
I told them what I knew and what had happened at my neighborhood. The paper came today and everyone crowded around it. Even the people that didn't know the guy.
The other black guy at work came to me and we had a bit of a discussion. It was over the murder of course. I later became annoyed and told him "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."
Eddson became enraged and said "Don't you care about all yo niggas?" I turned around and said "I'm not like you, or will ever be like you, I'm not ghetto and never will be. Eddy was a friend but, I don't care about him being shot, I care about why, and by whom."
Eddson and I continued into the argument until my boss could tell it was getting outta hand. It ended with:
me: If people were alittle more intellegent and not volitile, deaths in this world would begin to decrease.
Eddson: No, If niggas like you were more into their own culture cheese would be easier to obtain for our people.
me: Its "niggas" like me who stay smart and alive. Its niggas like you who kill us and yourselves. If Cord and "Bam Bam" or whatever his real name is. would have thought their plan out more, they might be out job hunting and making a honest dollar and Eddy would still be alive.
Eddson: Fuck you man. They need to get outta jail and plug your ass. Maybe that'll teach you to wake up and stop trying to act white.
me: I'm acting white. I'm acting like I should. Like me. Brian. And maybe if they tried to act like someone with commom sence, Eddy would still be alive and Cord and "Bam Bam" wouldn't be facing life in prison/ the death penalty.
Eddson: Fuck you!! Fuckin' oreo chocolate covered white boy. Yous a white washed bitch!!!
And thats when Crystal broke us up. She saw what was happening and sent him home. Meanwhile I stayed and just sat there wondering. I paraphrased the confrontation, but washing those dishes, I almost cried.
Listening to Eddson yell and curse at me, I realized one thing. Things will probably never change.