Where is my mind?
I feel retarded after not writing for a while, having my last entry be about Lauren in October. It's quite ironic actually, because I'm going to see her in 2 weeks, and today is her birthday. But this is not why I am writing to you. I gave graduated, I am into college, I have won awards and honors, I have been promoted, I am a legal adult, I own my own tuba, I got my first 4.0 in my last semester of school, I have a new laptop that I am currently typing on, and there have been new girls. I have learned about serving people, talking to people, social do's and don't's, how to make money, perfected my own way to attract girls, how to beat the system, be a nice guy or better yet be a gentleman. I know where Madagascar is, who the 38th president was, what my parents expect me to be, who I want to be and what I want to do. I know my favorite kind of candy is and I even have created idea for my own kind of government.
But at 18 years old, the turning point of my life where things that don't matter meet the fate of the rest of my life, I am wondering what this is all for?
A hundred years ago, a woman never had to worry about what girls were commenting their husband's myspace. There was no threat of nuclear bombs, only dynamite. The stock market didn't exist, and there were hardly any cars. Barely anyone in the middle class made it to college and usually they just ended up working in the family business. Now, kids our age can have all of this and still be miserable with their lives. I just think that the simpler times brought about better people. It makes me wonder.
Do we really need any of these things we strive to get? To be happy? Or simply even to live?
I don't think we do. Okay, I don't think I do. I think constantly, about everything. I like to analyze every situation so I will know handle it better the next time. I live social darwinism everyday. But I'm tired of it. I'm sick of wondering why she isn't responding to my text messages, evaluating all the possibilities of why she couldn't get them. I hate deciding what gas station to go to on the off-chance that one might be 2 cents more expensive per gallon for 87 octane. I feel I would be much more successful in a world filled with men with simpler morals. Men who look to marry their wives instead of cheat on them. Men who valiantly fight in wars for their country and don't look back. Men who know what it is like to be truly hated, but truly loved at the same time. But I want many things. I would trade all I have for those times, it seems. I guess that's all for now.
But at 18 years old, the turning point of my life where things that don't matter meet the fate of the rest of my life, I am wondering what this is all for?
A hundred years ago, a woman never had to worry about what girls were commenting their husband's myspace. There was no threat of nuclear bombs, only dynamite. The stock market didn't exist, and there were hardly any cars. Barely anyone in the middle class made it to college and usually they just ended up working in the family business. Now, kids our age can have all of this and still be miserable with their lives. I just think that the simpler times brought about better people. It makes me wonder.
Do we really need any of these things we strive to get? To be happy? Or simply even to live?
I don't think we do. Okay, I don't think I do. I think constantly, about everything. I like to analyze every situation so I will know handle it better the next time. I live social darwinism everyday. But I'm tired of it. I'm sick of wondering why she isn't responding to my text messages, evaluating all the possibilities of why she couldn't get them. I hate deciding what gas station to go to on the off-chance that one might be 2 cents more expensive per gallon for 87 octane. I feel I would be much more successful in a world filled with men with simpler morals. Men who look to marry their wives instead of cheat on them. Men who valiantly fight in wars for their country and don't look back. Men who know what it is like to be truly hated, but truly loved at the same time. But I want many things. I would trade all I have for those times, it seems. I guess that's all for now.