uuuggghhhh

[black_factor]

so. i got my chest pierced today. i like it and i really dont care if people think im crazy
fuck em all

i guess ive been doin alot of thinking today and, i donno. im not sure if im ready to let my guard down for anyone yet. like TRULY let it down. because i dont know if can deal with another disaster. or it could end up great OR im WAYYYY offf.. and all guys are they same. just out to get some.
but i donno. im starting to think thatsot the case with everyone. i dont know if i even stand a chance.
what do i have to offer?
-i bake good cookies
-im an allegedly good kisser
-im good at being a bitch

ugh. i know other people would die to have my life.not to be boastful but seriously, i live in a great place, good car, job, parents, friends..
i just dont understand why i cant see it that way. i hate everyday a little more than the last.
ha. im the most emo person i know! and im serious.
i got alot of good shit goin on right now, so it makes it better, but if i let myself be vulnerable..to anything..then it just might make each day even a little harder. and i dont think i can deal w/ that

uh. i donno

anyways the new emery cd ame out today, im excited to get it.
goodnight