West Wing FF: Stars that clear (have been dead for years) [gen, R]

Aug 25, 2007 15:34

Title: Stars that clear (have been dead for years)
Fandom: West Wing
Characters: Toby, Josh (Sam, Will, CJ, background CJ/Danny and past canon pairings)
Rating: R
Genre: Angst
Length: 5,700 words
Disclaimer: All belongs to Sorkin and Wells.
Warnings/Spoilers: Potential spoilers to end of S4. Character deaths and violence
Summary: This was the only way to ( Read more... )

will bailey, west wing, west wing: fanfic, cj cregg, sorkinverses, fanfic, fanfic: to order, sam seaborn, toby ziegler, joshua lyman

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raedbard August 25 2007, 21:28:35 UTC
Okay. Ready?

Okay. *gathers breath* You know how I said that your AU was your best? Well, I'd like to change my answer. (I know you won't agree, but that's okay. And you know what my favourite favourite is anyway. ;)) But really: this is astonishing. There are precious few slips or sentences I had to read twice before I understood them. And I think you're coming into the first of your stages of brilliance. Which is not to say that you weren't brilliant before (I'm all with the back-handed compliments this week; ask Amanda) but this is a different, more mature kind. That yours came to you three years earlier (in terms of how old we are) than mine came to me is something I choose not be jealous of. ;) Basically, I'm probably going to end up saying that each new story is your best for a while. ;)

Anyway. I said this to melliyna, but in the hands of someone less talented, this could so easily have been 1984-lite and have been all the poorer for it. You've filled me full of questions of the 'why?' 'how?' 'when?" variety *and* managed to scare me ( ... )

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raedbard August 25 2007, 21:30:17 UTC

The descriptions of the ex-White House reminded me of Serenity, or of something someone (possibly wisdomeagle) said about it: that what got to them most wasn't Book or Wash or whatever, but the process of making Serenity into a Reaver ship - the desecration. This struck me the same way and if it was a film and not a story, you can bet I'd be in tears over it the same way that if we ever go to DC you'll be embarrassed by me trying not to cry at the sight of the Washington monument. ;)

The little room had been for him and Sam; it was his alone now.
*sigh* There is a very weird domestication vibe that runs through all this story for me. I don't know if it's just this line that set it off or what but it's there. I guess because they have become family and better than lovers. And I am choosing to believe that this line is proof of what I want to see between Toby and Sam. (Although I think there are echoes elsewhere too. You can't fool me. ;))

He stood in its centre with a balled fist over his eyes. He was a widower twice over. He had lost two ( ... )

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raedbard August 25 2007, 21:31:17 UTC
And that should have been all: that Sam had approved. But Sam was not here, and this man was, and the two facts tripped over themselves in Josh’s head, tied together.
This is the last three points all put together: amazingly good prose, the feeling that this is really how I *actually* feel about the last season and the sense of role reversal with:

Toby glared. “Me. Anything else?”
:D Aww, Toby. I do love you. It's also a gently painful reminder of how Sam isn't there but things carry on - coffee has to be bought (I love that they don't so much go out for food but they do go for coffee *g*), plans made etc. Just with that hole in the middle.

Will Bailey stood up. “Mr Lyman. My name is Will Bailey, my father was General Thomas Bailey. I met Sam after I was arrested. We coordinated a defence which, while ultimately unsuccessful, lead to a dialogue which continued after I was released and until his-”And now, Will Bailey son of General Thomas Bailey, I kinda adore you also. This is all the best bits about Will - standing up to prove ( ... )

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raedbard August 25 2007, 21:31:58 UTC
“Can we have a minute?” Toby asked, and the room cleared. CJ may have been leader, but Toby was boss.
*chest swells* My boy. (Seriously. I do that. *goes to hide again*)

Toby was arbiter of disputes, and it was his view of what Sam Seaborn had or hadn’t been that would become official history. He had the language to make it so.
Re-reading this now that I've read the end, this seems an even sadder line than it did the first time around. *sobs* True though.

Sam was the sacrifice and Josh was the saved, the last in a long line. Josh would make it the last.
Foreshadowing = ouch. :(

Sam hadn’t walked into the enemy’s midst and overthrown the tables. He hadn’t been angry at the destruction of their year-old kingdom, though he would rant and rage about the misspellings in their police files. He could direct emissaries across the country but needed hazard tape to stop him tripping down the steps into his office.I LOVE THIS. The denial of Sam as a Christ-figure without actually saying so. The references! The prose! The ranting about ( ... )

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raedbard August 25 2007, 21:32:17 UTC
Will and Josh and Toby in the penultimate section ... I don't have words for. It's slow and silent and perfect. And I really do feel for Will. I get the feeling he's quite a guilty person, on the quiet - that he feels the guilt hard, I mean. And I love and am made sad by the way the dynamics keep changing, faster than I can keep track of. *sigh*

He folded the paper into thirds and pressed it into Josh’s hand. “Sagittarius.”
That really seriously started me crying again. I don't know why. Because it has a prior significance which also makes me cry probably. Because it's one of the words which means The End, even though it doesn't really in canon. But it does here.

Josh was proud, and afraid, and dressed the two in virtue.
Another absolutely gorgeous line. And, I love that the beginning and the end mirror each other, sort of - Josh shoving Toby into the wall. Ring composition always wins my heart. ;)

“I need you and Will to get out.” The roles switched so quickly they blurred. Will is the disciple now - the one left to write the ( ... )

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black_eyedgirl September 4 2007, 22:52:54 UTC
You know how I said that your AU was your best? Well, I'd like to change my answer. (I know you won't agree, but that's okay.

Well, in fairness, I didn't like This Wartime Morality much just after I'd finished it either. Amazingly, I like all of my fic much more after you've reviewed it. *g*

I'm all with the back-handed compliments this week; ask Amanda) but this is a different, more mature kind. That yours came to you three years earlier (in terms of how old we are) than mine came to me is something I choose not be jealous of. ;)
We've probably been fic writing for about the same length of time though, haven't we? And I wasn't taking it badly - I know I've got better, mostly since I met you :)

You've filled me full of questions of the 'why?' 'how?' 'when?" variety *and* managed to scare me to death with the few specifics you did give
I think I know most of what went on, to the extent of when most of the off-screen deaths happened, and roughly who did what. But neither 1984 nor V for Vendetta would be a wrong direction to think in ( ... )

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black_eyedgirl September 4 2007, 22:54:21 UTC
(I love that they don't so much go out for food but they do go for coffee *g*)
*is shamefaced* I didn't even think about that. What does that say about my coffee addiction?

"Of the twenty-eighth amendment, the illegal actions of an illegal administration, and the false histories being taught in our schools.”
This is the bit that scared the hell out of me.
I quite like that bit too. I wasn't sure I had got it across as well as it worked in my head, but I'm glad it scared you! I know a little bit more about it in my head, but probably still not enough to just be throwing out details...

Which means you can write thriller. ;)
Seriously? *bounces*

Re-reading this now that I've read the end, this seems an even sadder line than it did the first time around. *sobs* True though.You know, for all my hammering foreshadowing/reference in where it didn't belong, I didn't notice that myself until just before I posted. Possibly because when I wrote it, I hadn't quite convinced myself of the ending yet. It was nearly a Lyman-Ziegler suicide pact, ( ... )

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black_eyedgirl September 4 2007, 22:54:53 UTC
And, I love that the beginning and the end mirror each other, sort of - Josh shoving Toby into the wall. Ring composition always wins my heart. ;)
*g* I thought you might like that one. I quite like that section, and the one before it, with Will and Josh, but I still think it might be revealing things about my interpretation of the characters that I don't know about. And I still don't know where my Will and Josh love comes from. Possibly this is actually the story about the loss of Sam, in which case it is entirely about me and S7. Hmm

Josh, though, must always be himself - he who stood in the middle of the carnage unscathed.
Oh, Josh. Your destiny in any universe.
Ah. That's why I love Josh, even when he does things I hate. That line made me sad to write, and I hated making the ending as it was, but it's kinda true, no?

“I’m sorry, but no. Sam says to tell you that we drank the Kool Aid ( ... )

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