...the amount of tears ive wasted on men...
why did he have to do that.
i liked him so much.
so im sitting in the crowded theatre, watching previews, while my friend goes to the bathroom.
a commercial for a french film comes on. bobby and i were supposed to see it together. it stars his favourite french actor and it looks amazing. ive seen the preview a few times before and the preview alone always moves me. this time it makes me sad. its a long preview, and for the entire time, there are tears rolling off my face. because i know ill never see it with him.
i hate him so much.
i really dont want to let him go but i know i have no choice.
he was supposed to call me today to 'talk' because yesterday, he was at a friend's house and all we got to (after making a bunch of excited plans to see each other) was:
'did you sleep with her?'
'yes, yes i did.'
but he didnt call. he sent me this instead:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hiya,
so, i havent called you today but ive been thinking of you. I am sort of chickening out about the phone... I do mean to call, and will, but not today. I will call tomorrow. Right now, i am just trying to focus on this writing... it is not fair, i know... but then, i am not sure what to say right now, not sure i have an appropriate explanation. So, just to let you know i am thinking about you. I will give you a call tomorrow. I hope you are all right.
bisous,
bobby...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i dont care what sort of explanation he has. he slept with her. its over between us. i just hope it was worth it.