(no subject)
Well instead of going over to Kevin's for a couple of hours, I spent he night fighting with my parents about how they are destroying my life by putting to tight of a leash on me. They had issues with me leaving the house at 12 and not getting home till 2-2:30. Thing is they never told me what the issues were. The main on was me having to drive home 'after the bars let out', the obvious work around of me staying the night then getting up earlier for work wasn't even presented as a fucking option, because they never told me what was wrong. When I am home I feel unbearable alone, me and my sister don't speak, my dad just criticizes me for everything I do, my mom is the only one I talk to, ever, and rarely is it meaningful. Yet I am still happy; I’m meeting cool people who are a blast to spend time with, which is why not being able to go over hit me so hard. I feel tensed as hell trying to balance school, work, and friends, and their midnight curfew doesn't make it possible. How am I supposed to enjoy my life when I barely have time to watch a movie with the people I like? I try like hell to be perfect, I have never drank or smoked. I always followed their rules. Yet none of his changes these irrational rules; they are all based on factors 100% outside my control. I feel so hopeless and trapped at times- I need to spend time outside of my house- being home drives me insane; yet I can’t get away when the reasons for me not being allowed to do something are beyond my control. I missed spending time with everyone, I feel so isolated- so empty. But maybe they will change, maybe...