"It's the little Canadian boy! :3""oh, my favorite!"
It's gorgeous songs like this that make me think about things...
I watched Miracle again today with Hannah. And I bet I'm going to watch it again tomorrow or the next day with my mum. That movie really is amazing.I'm glad I've finally been able to see it.
It kind of made me think of the Pens again. And I really can't help t. I miss them too much. And it didn't help that the Russians in the movie wore red, so I thought of the SCF and...yea. (but you must admit, that goalie looks a hell of a lot like Osgood with that mask! >_<)
But, I've watched it, and I gotta say, one of my favorite scenes is the one after the Norway game, where Herb Brooks makes them skate back and forth a bagillion times. It just...hit me. Because, that's what we do in marching band. They say 'again' more than anything. And we all end up out of breath and such. And we're all playing for something the directors believe in. Sure, us as the students kind of believe in it too, but they instill us to do better and be better and all of that.
I don't know, I guess I just wish I had that kind of drive in any thing I do in life.
Thinkgs with friends still aren't good. Hai finally returned my message and it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. Well, I expected it, sure, but I was hoping she'd learn from the experience on why I was upset. I guess not.
Matt - the one who's had a crush on me for three years - is still being awkward. And you know what? It's really pissing me off. He doesn't talk to me in person, but he tells all of our mutual friends that he can't talk to me, and they tell me. So, I figure, I don't see him, I'll talk to him on AIM or something. So I get him to come on, and all he does is watch television shows and tell me how this guy is killing this guy and blah blah blah.
It's just...exhausting. All of these situations. I just can't take it anymore. Damn it, I need hockey.
Like, you have no idea. Hockey is my drug. All year, it took my mind off the bad things. If something bad was going on, I'd think of the most recent hockey game. I'd be like a coach - how could we do better? How can I help (insert player here) do this better?
Or, I'd think of goals, or saves, or awesome moves, or funny instances.
It seriously made me forget everything bad. But now that there isn't any, I'm going crazy. I don't like the real world. And it doesn't like me back.
But, the hockey world likes me. It loves me, and accepts me with open arms. And, I want that love back.
Because I'm tired of being lonely.
And the thing with Dana - I'm tired of being talked down to. Like I'm a child or stupid. Like I don't mean anything to anyone. That's where all this started. My so-called 'best friend' threw me out of her life like yesterday's bad bread and preceded to mock my very existance. As strong as I pretended to be, it just cut at me with every word.
And she's moved on, sure, but I haven't. And I don't know what to do with myself. I was doing so well before she emailed me about the Hai thing, like she had any idea what was really going on.
And she says I'm the bully...
But, I wrote that letter to the Pens. I haven't sent it yet, even though I think I found the address. My printer isn't working, so I have to use the one downstairs, but I don't want my parents to know, so I have to do it when they aren't home. Besides, I still need to edit the letter...
I really, really hope they give the two messages I wrote for Sidney and Marc-Andre to them. I mean, I really want them to know how much their accomplishments mean to me...
But, despite what Dana said (sorry, I'm skipping around here...) I still believe I can make my dreams come true. That I can work with animals, that I can be a photographer, that I can move to Canada and find the boy of my dreams.
I just hope I can. I'm so tired of disappointment.
There are so many things just flying around my head right now, I don't even know what all of them are. So, this is good for right now, I guess.
Man, score soundtracks rule my life. I just wish there was a legit soundtrack for Miracle. The two songs I got from it, though, are amazing...
I watched Miracle again today with Hannah. And I bet I'm going to watch it again tomorrow or the next day with my mum. That movie really is amazing.I'm glad I've finally been able to see it.
It kind of made me think of the Pens again. And I really can't help t. I miss them too much. And it didn't help that the Russians in the movie wore red, so I thought of the SCF and...yea. (but you must admit, that goalie looks a hell of a lot like Osgood with that mask! >_<)
But, I've watched it, and I gotta say, one of my favorite scenes is the one after the Norway game, where Herb Brooks makes them skate back and forth a bagillion times. It just...hit me. Because, that's what we do in marching band. They say 'again' more than anything. And we all end up out of breath and such. And we're all playing for something the directors believe in. Sure, us as the students kind of believe in it too, but they instill us to do better and be better and all of that.
I don't know, I guess I just wish I had that kind of drive in any thing I do in life.
Thinkgs with friends still aren't good. Hai finally returned my message and it wasn't the answer I wanted to hear. Well, I expected it, sure, but I was hoping she'd learn from the experience on why I was upset. I guess not.
Matt - the one who's had a crush on me for three years - is still being awkward. And you know what? It's really pissing me off. He doesn't talk to me in person, but he tells all of our mutual friends that he can't talk to me, and they tell me. So, I figure, I don't see him, I'll talk to him on AIM or something. So I get him to come on, and all he does is watch television shows and tell me how this guy is killing this guy and blah blah blah.
It's just...exhausting. All of these situations. I just can't take it anymore. Damn it, I need hockey.
Like, you have no idea. Hockey is my drug. All year, it took my mind off the bad things. If something bad was going on, I'd think of the most recent hockey game. I'd be like a coach - how could we do better? How can I help (insert player here) do this better?
Or, I'd think of goals, or saves, or awesome moves, or funny instances.
It seriously made me forget everything bad. But now that there isn't any, I'm going crazy. I don't like the real world. And it doesn't like me back.
But, the hockey world likes me. It loves me, and accepts me with open arms. And, I want that love back.
Because I'm tired of being lonely.
And the thing with Dana - I'm tired of being talked down to. Like I'm a child or stupid. Like I don't mean anything to anyone. That's where all this started. My so-called 'best friend' threw me out of her life like yesterday's bad bread and preceded to mock my very existance. As strong as I pretended to be, it just cut at me with every word.
And she's moved on, sure, but I haven't. And I don't know what to do with myself. I was doing so well before she emailed me about the Hai thing, like she had any idea what was really going on.
And she says I'm the bully...
But, I wrote that letter to the Pens. I haven't sent it yet, even though I think I found the address. My printer isn't working, so I have to use the one downstairs, but I don't want my parents to know, so I have to do it when they aren't home. Besides, I still need to edit the letter...
I really, really hope they give the two messages I wrote for Sidney and Marc-Andre to them. I mean, I really want them to know how much their accomplishments mean to me...
But, despite what Dana said (sorry, I'm skipping around here...) I still believe I can make my dreams come true. That I can work with animals, that I can be a photographer, that I can move to Canada and find the boy of my dreams.
I just hope I can. I'm so tired of disappointment.
There are so many things just flying around my head right now, I don't even know what all of them are. So, this is good for right now, I guess.
Man, score soundtracks rule my life. I just wish there was a legit soundtrack for Miracle. The two songs I got from it, though, are amazing...