Star Wars and Harry Potter and Robert Pattinson and Haikus (aka ignore me)
Okay, so it's like, waywayway late, yo. Proof that one should never drink caffeine as a way of breaking a fast. I'm still wide awake but my mind is dead. Which is my excuse for this entry.
First things first:
Okay, like, lblikesbagels showed me this. I dunno where she saw it, so ask her, but it's amusing me greatly.
Cedric = omgsogay
Okay, so maybe his head isn't all the way on that boy's lap, but he's all sprawled out like a queen either way:
I mean, come on. They're giggling.
"Ceeeedric.. I need to talk to you... in priiivate..."
Okay, so moving on.
Disturbing phallus
it's poking me by the mouth
just like other nights
the phallus looks away
just for a second, I preen
check out my girl lips
yes, that is my tongue
its sexiness disturbs Ron
he always looks away
my perfect cheekbones
they're even nicer than Fleur's
I suck cock like mad
I'm in a hurry
Or having an orgasm
just can't tell these days
Okay, I'm done with that. For real.
So this is just an experiment. Here’s me trying to just jot something down without freaking out and obsessing over every little word. (Just so I actually finish it.) It’s totally not meant to be taken seriously.
Untitled Drabbliness
Word Count: 2,087
Pairing: Could be considered Anakin/Ferus preslash of the “OMG I hate you and I’m gonna jizz in your eye” sort.
Warnings: Shameless creation of training droids that probably shouldn’t exist, use of Jude Watson’s crazy Force Activated Wall Door Thing from Jedi Apprentice 2 (or maybe 3), an unhealthy amount of parentheses, and lazy (lack of) grammar in general.
***
It was insulting. At fifteen years old, Anakin Skywalker felt that he was far above the Temple’s training exercises. They were designed for younglings, after all. However, despite all the complaints that Master Obi-Wan had to endure, he’d been ordered to participate in the next scheduled 'game'. He was not happy. His sole source of satisfaction was the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had to endure it. Ferus Olin was also chosen to baby sit the dozen or so younglings who were playing.
The latest Council meeting had discussed the shifting of the Force; the cloudy darkness that was changing so many things in the galaxy. Missions were rarely simple these days, and even more than usual were resulting in violence and confusion.
The specifics of the discussion included the recent ‘Padawan losing’ trend. It seemed more and more often, Masters were being separated from their apprentices mid-mission. All too often, the young Jedi were overwhelmed by the loss of their Masters’ guidance and became more of a liability than an aid.
At Yoda’s suggestion, it was decided that a new component was to be added to the younglings’ training. They were going to be taught to think and make decisions on their own when necessary, as a precaution before they actually needed it.
What did this have to do with Ferus and Anakin? Despite the fact that they’d already outgrown their need for constant supervision, it was decided that having a Jedi Master lead the younglings would completely kill the point of the lesson, and just as much as the children needed to learn a sense of independence, some of the older Padawans needed to learn a sense of teamwork.
Particularly, Padawans Anakin Skywalker and Ferus Olin. It seemed as though they could hardly get through a simple lesson without making it into a competition. (And of course, both of them blamed the other.)
When the time came, they were lead to one of the Temple’s many training areas. The arena doors shut behind them, leaving Ferus, Anakin and the younglings alone in a large walled-in space that was apparently meant to mimic a tropical planet. Anakin muttered, “This is a waste of time,” ignoring the questioning glances from the children.
“You’re not acting like a Jedi, as usual,” Ferus pointed out, then continued, “All assignments from the Council are given to us with a reason. You should think about that, and use it to your advantage. You might learn something.”
“Don’t lecture me!” Anakin exploded suddenly (though not unexpectedly), “You’re not my Master, and--” he would have gone on, were he not interrupted by insistent tugging on his robes. “What?” he demanded irritably, his expression softening slightly as he looked at the small girl who was trying to get his attention.
“Where’s Master Yoda?” she asked, and she couldn’t have been older than six.
“He’s not here,” Anakin answered, not knowing what else to say. “You’re with us.” He was mildly alarmed at how her face clouded when she heard the news that the familiar Jedi Master wasn’t going to be taking care of them. Oh well, wasn’t that the point of this exercise?
Anakin looked up at Ferus, “Let’s split up,” he suggested, completely missing the other point of the exercise. However, fortunately for him, Ferus didn’t seem to have gotten it either, and agreed easily.
“I’ll take half the younglings, and you take the other half. We’ll look for the key, and you look for the door.” And for once, Anakin didn’t argue. He simply gestured for the six who were closest to him to follow as he stalked off into the trees.
Time passed, and it seemed as though they’d been searching for hours, when in reality it had only been thirty minutes or so. It was a youngling's mission, how could it possibly be so difficult? Anakin had expected to be in and out in no time. He sighed and extended his senses once more, trying to detect a clue, anything the Force might offer him… but he came up with nothing.
“The Force hates me,” he muttered.
“Master Yoda says--” a youngling started.
“I know,” Anakin interrupted, “Hate you, the Force does not… clear your senses, you must, yeah, yeah, yeah…”
“That’s not what he says!” Another youngling corrected, oblivious to the Padawan’s irritable sarcasm. But before she could enlighten the teen with her collection of sayings, another youngling caught up with them, waving his little hands around to catch their attention.
“Master Anakin!” he called, and Anakin didn’t bother to correct the title (because he secretly liked it).
Instead, he asked, “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be with Olin.” He rolled his eyes. So the perfect Padawan lost a youngling already? He probably just wanted to saddle Anakin down with all the kids so he could find the door faster! Anakin was about to yell at the kid to get back with Ferus and slow him down some while he was at it…
But he was snapped out of his thoughts by the boy explaining, “Something’s wrong with Master Ferus, you have to come see…”
“Is this some kind of trick?” Anakin asked suspiciously, ignoring the faint unease that rose within him. What could have happened to Ferus? They were in the Temple! It couldn’t be anything serious. It must be a trick.
Either way, he followed when the pushy child tugged on his robes and practically dragged him about half a kilometer away to where the other five were kneeling around a very unconscious Ferus Olin.
Anakin hated the brief panic that made his stomach flip when he realized that his rival wasn’t faking it. He knelt beside him and swatted at the tiny hands trying to help ‘Master Ferus’ with the curious prodding and pinching that was only going to make it so he eventually woke up sore. (Which Anakin wouldn’t have minded in the slightest… had they not been in his way.)
Anyway, by just staring, Skywalker couldn’t find anything wrong with the other boy. His Force signature was slightly faded, and Anakin was just about ready to give up and call for the Masters when he sensed something else… He gestured impatiently for the worried younglings to quiet, and they did, so he focused on the very faint disruption until it became clear to him.
That’s when he saw it. Something that resembled a tiny vulture droid had attached itself to his fellow Padawan’s neck. He had absolutely no clue what it was doing, or how it had managed to knock a Jedi out. He also didn’t know what would happen to Ferus if he destroyed it. It might be risky to try it, having no clue what it was.
But he did it anyway.
He focused a small but concentrated Force push directly at the little thing, causing it to implode on itself. Luckily for the unconscious one, none of the very undesirable outcomes came to pass. (You know, brain melting, an explosion on his neck, a coma, etc.) Instead, the boy’s eyes suddenly flew open and he stared up at Anakin with more than just a little shock on his face.
“What happened?” He asked, rubbing his neck (which kind of itched) as he shoved at the younger Padawan and sat up.
“You got yourself in trouble--somehow--on a youngling mission, and I saved you.”
Anakin jumped to his feet, only so he could smirk as he offered his had to the still-sitting Ferus, who of course refused it and stood on his own.
“Let’s stick together now…” a particularly bold little boy suggested, and Anakin nodded, sensing somehow that it was probably a better idea.
“Yes, good idea, because Olin obviously can’t handle himself.”
Ferus was too busy rubbing at his neck and trying to figure out what happened to come up with a response, so Anakin rallied the children and started off in a random direction. (Because he was too busy feeling ‘in control’ to actually… lead properly.)
“Where are we going?” the older Padawan asked suddenly, after a few minutes of just following and quietly interrogating younglings. (They didn’t give him much more than he already knew. He fell unconscious, and Anakin woke him up. Obvious.)
“To find the key,” Anakin answered, as if that should be obvious. The mission objective was simple. All they’d been told was to find a key, and then find a door. How complicated could it be?
“You’re not going anywhere, Skywalker.” Ferus protested, noticing the randomness of Anakin’s route.
Anakin, first embarrassed that Ferus had noticed, and then irritated that he’d loudly pointed it out in front of the younglings, shot back, “What would you know!? You should be unconscious.”
“But I’m not! So I’d suggest--”
“--Because of me!” Anakin interrupted, “Don’t even try to lecture me, Olin!”
In an effort to win back the respect of the younglings (which Anakin suspected had been lost at Ferus’ last criticism), he lunged at the other boy (only resulting in scaring the crap out of the kids) and slammed him into the outer wall of the enclosure. As he drew his fist back to teach his fellow Padawan a (much needed, in Anakin’s opinion) lesson, he was suddenly distracted by a loud, collective gasp from the younglings.
Anakin, who Ferus shoved away as soon as he looked back, stumbled and threw another glare in the older boy’s direction. The sudden wave of anger that had overtaken him was already gone, though, as fast at it had appeared. Typical of Anakin. He turned back to the younglings.
“Touch it again!” A small girl cried, pointing at the wall. Ferus, who was closest (and slightly more indulgent) reached out and touched the wall. Both he and Anakin (and everyone else) were surprised to see it flicker, revealing a hallway (suspiciously like those in the Temple) hidden behind it.
“I’ve seen one of these!” Anakin cried, but then added, “Actually, no I haven’t. But Master Obi-Wan has, and he told me about it… It’s Force activated… there’s got to be a door…” He pushed past Ferus and felt out the wall, studying it carefully until he ran into a nearly invisible seam. “There.”
He smirked at the younglings, and Ferus, who still looked a bit alarmed at the rather abrupt switch between having nothing to having completed the mission.
“So,” Anakin started, “The Force--”
“The Force is the key,” Ferus commented, “A lesson within a lesson, how--”
“Typical.” Anakin glared, “Yes, I was just about to say that.”
Ferus just smirked, and Anakin irritably grabbed the first reluctant youngling and shoved him through the ‘door’. The others followed once they saw their classmate safely appear on the other side, and Anakin stalked after them, dropping his hold on it and leaving his rival facing a solid wall.
He rolled his eyes and felt out the door himself, pushing through it almost as easily as Anakin had before him.
They walked down the hallway, and were greeted by Masters Mace Windu and Yoda as well as the Padawans’ own Masters.
“A good job, you all have done,” Yoda smiled at the younglings, “Complete, the mission is.” He gave Ferus and Anakin a look of approval as well.
“There’s one problem,” Mace pointed out, “Anakin,” he paused dramatically. Anakin just stood patiently, trying not to flush, he hated when Master Windu criticized him, and it was even worse in front of Ferus! “You broke one of our practice droids, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“What?” Anakin asked, “I don’t understand.”
“The Padawan, Ferus Olin, was supposed to remain unconscious. That was part of the exercise.” Mace glared at Anakin, as if he’d totally ruined the entire game.
“No one told me I was supposed to leave him!” Anakin raised his voice slightly, surprised. He’d expected to be lectured about the (almost) fight near the end, not what he’d thought was a good thing. Obi-Wan placed a hand on his shoulder and he relaxed, but still stared all wide eyed at Mace. That man would take any excuse to express his and the Council’s dissatisfaction when it came to Anakin…
“If you’d told me something like that was going to happen, I would have gladly left him--”
Yoda suddenly interrupted with a raised hand, “This problem before, we’ve never had. Been able to find the droid, no other Padawan has.”
Anakin felt all the anger go away at the old Master’s words, leaving only his cocky smirk and Master Windu’s disapproving glare.
***
Whoo.
First things first:
Okay, like, lblikesbagels showed me this. I dunno where she saw it, so ask her, but it's amusing me greatly.
Cedric = omgsogay
Okay, so maybe his head isn't all the way on that boy's lap, but he's all sprawled out like a queen either way:
I mean, come on. They're giggling.
"Ceeeedric.. I need to talk to you... in priiivate..."
Okay, so moving on.
Disturbing phallus
it's poking me by the mouth
just like other nights
the phallus looks away
just for a second, I preen
check out my girl lips
yes, that is my tongue
its sexiness disturbs Ron
he always looks away
my perfect cheekbones
they're even nicer than Fleur's
I suck cock like mad
I'm in a hurry
Or having an orgasm
just can't tell these days
Okay, I'm done with that. For real.
So this is just an experiment. Here’s me trying to just jot something down without freaking out and obsessing over every little word. (Just so I actually finish it.) It’s totally not meant to be taken seriously.
Untitled Drabbliness
Word Count: 2,087
Pairing: Could be considered Anakin/Ferus preslash of the “OMG I hate you and I’m gonna jizz in your eye” sort.
Warnings: Shameless creation of training droids that probably shouldn’t exist, use of Jude Watson’s crazy Force Activated Wall Door Thing from Jedi Apprentice 2 (or maybe 3), an unhealthy amount of parentheses, and lazy (lack of) grammar in general.
***
It was insulting. At fifteen years old, Anakin Skywalker felt that he was far above the Temple’s training exercises. They were designed for younglings, after all. However, despite all the complaints that Master Obi-Wan had to endure, he’d been ordered to participate in the next scheduled 'game'. He was not happy. His sole source of satisfaction was the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had to endure it. Ferus Olin was also chosen to baby sit the dozen or so younglings who were playing.
The latest Council meeting had discussed the shifting of the Force; the cloudy darkness that was changing so many things in the galaxy. Missions were rarely simple these days, and even more than usual were resulting in violence and confusion.
The specifics of the discussion included the recent ‘Padawan losing’ trend. It seemed more and more often, Masters were being separated from their apprentices mid-mission. All too often, the young Jedi were overwhelmed by the loss of their Masters’ guidance and became more of a liability than an aid.
At Yoda’s suggestion, it was decided that a new component was to be added to the younglings’ training. They were going to be taught to think and make decisions on their own when necessary, as a precaution before they actually needed it.
What did this have to do with Ferus and Anakin? Despite the fact that they’d already outgrown their need for constant supervision, it was decided that having a Jedi Master lead the younglings would completely kill the point of the lesson, and just as much as the children needed to learn a sense of independence, some of the older Padawans needed to learn a sense of teamwork.
Particularly, Padawans Anakin Skywalker and Ferus Olin. It seemed as though they could hardly get through a simple lesson without making it into a competition. (And of course, both of them blamed the other.)
When the time came, they were lead to one of the Temple’s many training areas. The arena doors shut behind them, leaving Ferus, Anakin and the younglings alone in a large walled-in space that was apparently meant to mimic a tropical planet. Anakin muttered, “This is a waste of time,” ignoring the questioning glances from the children.
“You’re not acting like a Jedi, as usual,” Ferus pointed out, then continued, “All assignments from the Council are given to us with a reason. You should think about that, and use it to your advantage. You might learn something.”
“Don’t lecture me!” Anakin exploded suddenly (though not unexpectedly), “You’re not my Master, and--” he would have gone on, were he not interrupted by insistent tugging on his robes. “What?” he demanded irritably, his expression softening slightly as he looked at the small girl who was trying to get his attention.
“Where’s Master Yoda?” she asked, and she couldn’t have been older than six.
“He’s not here,” Anakin answered, not knowing what else to say. “You’re with us.” He was mildly alarmed at how her face clouded when she heard the news that the familiar Jedi Master wasn’t going to be taking care of them. Oh well, wasn’t that the point of this exercise?
Anakin looked up at Ferus, “Let’s split up,” he suggested, completely missing the other point of the exercise. However, fortunately for him, Ferus didn’t seem to have gotten it either, and agreed easily.
“I’ll take half the younglings, and you take the other half. We’ll look for the key, and you look for the door.” And for once, Anakin didn’t argue. He simply gestured for the six who were closest to him to follow as he stalked off into the trees.
Time passed, and it seemed as though they’d been searching for hours, when in reality it had only been thirty minutes or so. It was a youngling's mission, how could it possibly be so difficult? Anakin had expected to be in and out in no time. He sighed and extended his senses once more, trying to detect a clue, anything the Force might offer him… but he came up with nothing.
“The Force hates me,” he muttered.
“Master Yoda says--” a youngling started.
“I know,” Anakin interrupted, “Hate you, the Force does not… clear your senses, you must, yeah, yeah, yeah…”
“That’s not what he says!” Another youngling corrected, oblivious to the Padawan’s irritable sarcasm. But before she could enlighten the teen with her collection of sayings, another youngling caught up with them, waving his little hands around to catch their attention.
“Master Anakin!” he called, and Anakin didn’t bother to correct the title (because he secretly liked it).
Instead, he asked, “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be with Olin.” He rolled his eyes. So the perfect Padawan lost a youngling already? He probably just wanted to saddle Anakin down with all the kids so he could find the door faster! Anakin was about to yell at the kid to get back with Ferus and slow him down some while he was at it…
But he was snapped out of his thoughts by the boy explaining, “Something’s wrong with Master Ferus, you have to come see…”
“Is this some kind of trick?” Anakin asked suspiciously, ignoring the faint unease that rose within him. What could have happened to Ferus? They were in the Temple! It couldn’t be anything serious. It must be a trick.
Either way, he followed when the pushy child tugged on his robes and practically dragged him about half a kilometer away to where the other five were kneeling around a very unconscious Ferus Olin.
Anakin hated the brief panic that made his stomach flip when he realized that his rival wasn’t faking it. He knelt beside him and swatted at the tiny hands trying to help ‘Master Ferus’ with the curious prodding and pinching that was only going to make it so he eventually woke up sore. (Which Anakin wouldn’t have minded in the slightest… had they not been in his way.)
Anyway, by just staring, Skywalker couldn’t find anything wrong with the other boy. His Force signature was slightly faded, and Anakin was just about ready to give up and call for the Masters when he sensed something else… He gestured impatiently for the worried younglings to quiet, and they did, so he focused on the very faint disruption until it became clear to him.
That’s when he saw it. Something that resembled a tiny vulture droid had attached itself to his fellow Padawan’s neck. He had absolutely no clue what it was doing, or how it had managed to knock a Jedi out. He also didn’t know what would happen to Ferus if he destroyed it. It might be risky to try it, having no clue what it was.
But he did it anyway.
He focused a small but concentrated Force push directly at the little thing, causing it to implode on itself. Luckily for the unconscious one, none of the very undesirable outcomes came to pass. (You know, brain melting, an explosion on his neck, a coma, etc.) Instead, the boy’s eyes suddenly flew open and he stared up at Anakin with more than just a little shock on his face.
“What happened?” He asked, rubbing his neck (which kind of itched) as he shoved at the younger Padawan and sat up.
“You got yourself in trouble--somehow--on a youngling mission, and I saved you.”
Anakin jumped to his feet, only so he could smirk as he offered his had to the still-sitting Ferus, who of course refused it and stood on his own.
“Let’s stick together now…” a particularly bold little boy suggested, and Anakin nodded, sensing somehow that it was probably a better idea.
“Yes, good idea, because Olin obviously can’t handle himself.”
Ferus was too busy rubbing at his neck and trying to figure out what happened to come up with a response, so Anakin rallied the children and started off in a random direction. (Because he was too busy feeling ‘in control’ to actually… lead properly.)
“Where are we going?” the older Padawan asked suddenly, after a few minutes of just following and quietly interrogating younglings. (They didn’t give him much more than he already knew. He fell unconscious, and Anakin woke him up. Obvious.)
“To find the key,” Anakin answered, as if that should be obvious. The mission objective was simple. All they’d been told was to find a key, and then find a door. How complicated could it be?
“You’re not going anywhere, Skywalker.” Ferus protested, noticing the randomness of Anakin’s route.
Anakin, first embarrassed that Ferus had noticed, and then irritated that he’d loudly pointed it out in front of the younglings, shot back, “What would you know!? You should be unconscious.”
“But I’m not! So I’d suggest--”
“--Because of me!” Anakin interrupted, “Don’t even try to lecture me, Olin!”
In an effort to win back the respect of the younglings (which Anakin suspected had been lost at Ferus’ last criticism), he lunged at the other boy (only resulting in scaring the crap out of the kids) and slammed him into the outer wall of the enclosure. As he drew his fist back to teach his fellow Padawan a (much needed, in Anakin’s opinion) lesson, he was suddenly distracted by a loud, collective gasp from the younglings.
Anakin, who Ferus shoved away as soon as he looked back, stumbled and threw another glare in the older boy’s direction. The sudden wave of anger that had overtaken him was already gone, though, as fast at it had appeared. Typical of Anakin. He turned back to the younglings.
“Touch it again!” A small girl cried, pointing at the wall. Ferus, who was closest (and slightly more indulgent) reached out and touched the wall. Both he and Anakin (and everyone else) were surprised to see it flicker, revealing a hallway (suspiciously like those in the Temple) hidden behind it.
“I’ve seen one of these!” Anakin cried, but then added, “Actually, no I haven’t. But Master Obi-Wan has, and he told me about it… It’s Force activated… there’s got to be a door…” He pushed past Ferus and felt out the wall, studying it carefully until he ran into a nearly invisible seam. “There.”
He smirked at the younglings, and Ferus, who still looked a bit alarmed at the rather abrupt switch between having nothing to having completed the mission.
“So,” Anakin started, “The Force--”
“The Force is the key,” Ferus commented, “A lesson within a lesson, how--”
“Typical.” Anakin glared, “Yes, I was just about to say that.”
Ferus just smirked, and Anakin irritably grabbed the first reluctant youngling and shoved him through the ‘door’. The others followed once they saw their classmate safely appear on the other side, and Anakin stalked after them, dropping his hold on it and leaving his rival facing a solid wall.
He rolled his eyes and felt out the door himself, pushing through it almost as easily as Anakin had before him.
They walked down the hallway, and were greeted by Masters Mace Windu and Yoda as well as the Padawans’ own Masters.
“A good job, you all have done,” Yoda smiled at the younglings, “Complete, the mission is.” He gave Ferus and Anakin a look of approval as well.
“There’s one problem,” Mace pointed out, “Anakin,” he paused dramatically. Anakin just stood patiently, trying not to flush, he hated when Master Windu criticized him, and it was even worse in front of Ferus! “You broke one of our practice droids, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“What?” Anakin asked, “I don’t understand.”
“The Padawan, Ferus Olin, was supposed to remain unconscious. That was part of the exercise.” Mace glared at Anakin, as if he’d totally ruined the entire game.
“No one told me I was supposed to leave him!” Anakin raised his voice slightly, surprised. He’d expected to be lectured about the (almost) fight near the end, not what he’d thought was a good thing. Obi-Wan placed a hand on his shoulder and he relaxed, but still stared all wide eyed at Mace. That man would take any excuse to express his and the Council’s dissatisfaction when it came to Anakin…
“If you’d told me something like that was going to happen, I would have gladly left him--”
Yoda suddenly interrupted with a raised hand, “This problem before, we’ve never had. Been able to find the droid, no other Padawan has.”
Anakin felt all the anger go away at the old Master’s words, leaving only his cocky smirk and Master Windu’s disapproving glare.
***
Whoo.