does he sing to you incessantly...from the space between your bed and wall
this morning was actually really good besides the whole waking-up-at-the-ass-crack of dawn thing. i really dont get why i do that... i mean yea great its really peaceful but its also beginning to get cold so its not like i can just sit on the deck anymore. well so i got up and ma n dad were downstairs reading the paper and listening to NPR and doing their morning schtick. ma left a warm muffin and cashews on a plate for me. <333 i love my ma. shes so sweet. and shes really fun to do political sattire with...and we joke about everything, its really cool. i wish she werent so sad all the time though. she has this friend who had a daughter who was killed when she was 14 in a car accident. thats why ma always has to hug me for at least 30 seconds before she lets me go out to my bus. i love her too but i wouldnt get in the car with a lush and i really needed to catch the bus.. i dont think i would let my firstborn ride around town in the car of a boy id never met either--but at the same time it would be cool if i didnt feel that way. i mean even when pink was driving me n jess n ebbs to the civic center for the gala i felt bad cause i didnt tell ma how i was getting there. anyway--my morning: i got up, pissed, washed my hands [very important], got some coffee, trudged upstairs, ma n dad left, i tried on wigs from the costume box, then i talked to trev, he gave me a recipe for these cookies. i dont even like cookies. but i felt like baking. so i did. and i think they taste like that atkins no-carb, all-cardboard shit we used to eat. i mean they were that nasty. gah... i wonder if im psychotic, as in for real not just because it would be interesting. anyway: the cookies. so theyre gross. and bea n ma liked them, but i think they taste like turd. gah. i but the rest of the dough in the freezer. i didnt have the heart to bake another batch. well trev made some with the same recipe--and he says his are superb. I HOPE U CHOKE ON THEM! well ok so i dont really but i cant cook either. i used to be ok. but i dont like following directions... maybe i left someting out. maybe not. whos gonna kno, right? haha so anyway drake called while i was on the phone with trev makin these nasty cookies. and then trev had to go so i called drake back. and it rang like twice, and he answered the phone the way he always used to. first time i was happy in awhile. it felt so much like old times to just hear him say 'hey' so casually and kno it was me calling. and i kno his family really well cause our dads work together and our mas kno eachother from euchre. and our families both went to that euchre getaway thing at camp st.christopher a few years back. so its all good. and i miss him being my best friend. i miss it alot. i mean we could talk about anything and it always stayed in the just friends rhelm. which was perfect i swear. so we talked this morning for awhile and he may call after he gets back from the whole band competition thingy. ill make him go see 'garden state' with me. that movie seems really cool, i just dont kno why yet. even the title screams tear-jerker for me, im from the garden state after all. ::sob:: i need to go back, asap i swear. and i need to stay. its so beautiful, so close to the city. they dont say coke and mean soda, they say pop and carry milk. arg, memories!! well i need to finish up this book so i can say im square enough with hw to go tonight. lub youse guys...whoevers is reading...whoever cared enough to read it all the way through...thanx. <333