I'm really pathetic sometimes, I really am.
I just finished a really great book. I'm not even kidding you, it was really great. I can't even begin to tell you just how much I loved it. Well, I could try, but I'm not going to do that because it would take too long and you probably won't read it anyway. So now I'm just sitting around here feeling all nostalgic and thinking about spring break. I've never been to Texas before, and I'm not really excited about it or anything. I don't care much for hot weather and I just want to go somewhere with an eternal autumn and mountains. I'm not going to be home for someone's birthday.. and this is probably going to make me hate Texas forever. I really don't want to go. I don't want to pack clothes, I don't want to get up early on Monday, I don't want to get on the plane, I don't want to go swimming in pools, and I don't want to even have to think about stupid Texas. If you read this far.. then you deserve to know that I got into Wind Ensemble, although I don't really feel like I deserve it. I didn't even prepare an audition. I just sight-read the music and got a pep talk from V and Dee about how I need to be more confident and think about what I want to do and not worry about not making it. They should have discussed this with me before I didn't write the essay for drum major. I might have done it. I might have made it.. but maybe not. It really doesn't matter now. So, now I'm going to have to get really great at tuba and practice a lot and just be awesome so V won't feel like he made the wrong choice. I've already let enough people down and I guess that trend is over now. More like I've let myself down. I do that a lot. Anyway. I really really really wish it were fall right now, oh dear god I would give anything.. I just want to look out the window and see a warm blue sky and not imagine the frigid lifeless air that waits outside the front door. Just to see the colours and for everything to be nice again. Just so I can pack my car with my close friends, whoever they happen to be at the time, or just drive around with one person who means something, who means anything.. and just drive with the windows down in the country.. and maybe go to the barn. The country is beautiful in autumn, and if you've never seen that then you're really missing out. It's not just how breath-taking everything looks, but, the smell of fall and the smell of great memories that I miss so much. I also miss star gazing. We really need to go star gazing. Watching meteor showers is even better. Especially in the fall.. goddamn.