(no subject)
life sucks to the fullest.My parents didnt let me go out tonight at all on my saturday fucking night ,i could have gone to the movies with my freinds or the beach lol.Im not really that sick i just sound worse than i feel.All my freinds are at prom,and how is it that a junior and a FUCKING SOPEHMORE get to go to prom ,i was inivited to go to the after party which would be at like 1:30am and i wouldnt have any wayt of getting there,which really sucks.I bet everyone is having a great time while im home sitting on my ass on my computer and ready to cry and so furious that i want to hit something.I want to run away i am so angry,fly away even.I wish i had more freinds ,and wish i was excpeted more.God i feel like i need to get drunk,drinking makes me feel better im so depressed.And thats what everyone is going to be doing tonight anywayz drinking and smoking grrrrrrrrrr,im so angry. Ive already broke the mirror off my fucking door cause i got so angry,and im so depressed .Spending my fucking weekend at home,its already over tomorow .Life right now means nothing to me ,no freindsmno fun,no dancing.Why do i always have to be the one that gets fucked over or blamed for something or put down for something or getr yelled at for doing something wrong.I have nothing ,no one,NOTTTTTHHIIIIIINNNNGGGGG i want to go to a party or get invcited somewhere sometime but no im always the one left out.People go out to miveis or go shoppping with a big group of people and im always the one left out.Then we get back to school and on monday there talking about how much fun they had,and i go WELL THANKS FOR INIVTING ME and i have the fucking right to say that.Oh fuck all this prom shit,this is what really is making me depressed,i got invited to go to a prom after party and im not going cause my parents are assholes.I wish i would live a life of a kid who feels accepted or even gets to do something on the weekend.But no im the one who has to feel like shit.Just writing this out isint making me feel better,i need to go out do something tonight and i dont care how late it is .I HATE THEM RIGHT NOW I REALLY FUCKING DO i could bew having such a great time and be happy with my life and right now im not IM NNEVER HAPPY NEVER FUCKING HAPPY and when i tell people they dont give a shit and they dont care THE PEOPLE WHO I THINK ARE MY FREINDS ARENT FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i wish it was so much easier than this ,why does it always have to be me .I WANT TOIRUN FAR FAR AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK (I NEED A FUCKING DRINK) whhhhhhyy yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy