Santa Baby
So this year what I want for Christmas is my sanity. What I want is to be happy, is that possible? I don't want those material things if everything in life will just smooth over and leave no traces of pain. I don't know what I got myself into this year. I played games, got hurt, and now I'm back where I started wondering why I did all this shit again. I thought I had learned from last year's mistakes but apparently not. So what do I do now? How do I go about telling him I'm sorry for hurting him. Unfortunately I am guilty of being egocentric and having no wish to think of others before myself. I'm conceited I know. How is it that I still have friends to this day? Its a miracle and I realize that I can't take them for granted in more. I have to realize that they have feelings, lives, thoughts, fears, and everything else that makes them human too. I have to see that I am not the only one is sad sometimes. I am not the only one who loves (loved) someone special. So what do you do when you want to apologize to him and hope that he will forgive you? I prey that I'm not too late this time. I have been given so many chances to be a there, why not take it? I guess I shouldn't, I guess I wouldn't only to maintain the peace and hope that we can stay friends. I don't want to turn out like Alyssa or Tiffany. I want friends, I want them to love me as much as I love them. I don't want to be a bitch. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
sorry.
sorry.