Pain Management Chapter 5
Title: Pain Management
Written By: sfscarlet
Timeline: Post Series
Rating: R
Warnings: none
Summary: Brian uses his time honored pain management techniques, but do they still work?
Author's Notes: Thank you to Jilla for the beta. Her feedback and commas are greatly appreciated. Any mistakes are mine. In my universe, Melanie and Lindsay did not go to Canada. All medical mistakes are mine.
Justin retrieved his cell and called Daphne, hoping she was home.
“Justin,” she answered. “I’m almost to the hospital. I thought you’d be about ready to go home.”
“I love you, Daphne. I was so not looking forward to riding the bus tonight. Brian may be awake, but he’s being an asshole,” Justin said as he pushed the elevator button to go to the lobby.
“I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Wait in the lobby and I’ll drive up,” Daphne said as she maneuvered her way through the light traffic.
“Good. I’ll be waiting,” Justin said as he walked out of the elevator and shut his phone. He took a seat by the door so he could watch for Daphne’s car. A few minutes later, her car drove up to the patient loading area and he got in it.
“Thanks, I’m exhausted,” Justin said as he placed his bag on the back seat. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, dozing off as Daphne drove them home.
When they arrived home, Justin woke up. “Sorry. I guess I’m exhausted. I never appreciated what my mother went through after the bashing. Not only did she spend a lot of her day at the hospital, but she also took care of Molly.” Justin gathered his messenger bag from the back seat and brought it into the house. “I’m going to bed. They’re supposed to get him out of bed tomorrow. Let him sit in a chair and maybe stand for a few minutes. I want to be there when he gets up.”
“Good night, Justin. It’s Saturday, so I don’t have to work. I can stay with you at the hospital if you want.” Daphne hung her keys up on the hook by the door, took off her coat, draped it on the chair, and yawned. “I guess I’ll go to bed, too. It’s been a long week.”
The next morning, they ate a quick breakfast, getting an early start on the drive. Daphne made her way onto the highway and matched her car’s speed with the other cars. “So how is Brian? Have you told him what happened?”
Justin fiddled with the radio, turning the volume down before answering. “He’s in a really bad mood. He doesn’t like the food, keeps telling me to leave and having a conversation with someone who can only stay awake for fifteen minutes at a time is difficult.”
Daphne didn’t like the song on the radio and she pushed a different button for another station. Pulling down her visor, she handed Justin a CD. “Put that in. I don’t know why you insist on listening to the radio. There’s nothing but crap on.”
Justin put the CD on and The Fray played loudly.
“Still think you want to stay here? If he’s like that again today, it will be even harder than normal.”
Justin laughed. “Normal. What the hell is normal for Brian Kinney? Brian never wants anyone to do anything for him, and he always wants to tell me what I should do. He thinks he knows best. Well this time, he doesn’t get to tell me what to do.” Justin watched the snow fall on the road as they drove.
“Your show’s in two weeks. Don’t you have to go back?”
“Yeah, I do, but only for the night. I talked to my mom, and she said she’d buy me the ticket. I could leave right after lunch, and be back the next morning.”
“Are you sure? Do you really want to put your life on hold like that?’
Justin turned toward Daphne and said, “I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few weeks and I’ve made a decision. I can paint anywhere, but Brian is here, and I need to be with him. I can go to New York a few times a month to talk to galleries, but I don’t want to live there anymore.”
“Okay, but what if Brian doesn’t want you here?” Daphne asked as she played devil’s advocate. “He told you to go away,” she reminded him.
Justin frowned at her logic. “True, but he left me as his Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy. I’ve been gone almost a year and half. I’ve got an agent, and my work is selling. I’ve done the New York thing, now I need to return to my life and Brian.”
Daphne sighed. “You’re still the romantic, but Brian’s a hard sell.”
“I know, but I wrote the Brian Kinney operating manual, and this is just a new chapter in the book.”
Daphne signaled to get off the highway. She followed the signs to the hospital and parked the car in the parking garage. She unbuckled her seatbelt and watched Justin do the same.
“Justin, I don’t want to see you hurt. Can’t we talk a little longer before you go up?”
Justin looked at his watch and shook his head. “Not now, Daph. The nurses told me they would be getting him up after breakfast and that should be any time now. We’ll talk later. Are you staying or will you be back?”
Daphne sighed. “I’ll be back in a few hours - I have some errands to run. Will you promise that we’ll talk then?” she asked as she grabbed his hands and placed them in her own.
“Okay. We’ll talk later, but I’m not promising it will be here. It depends on how Brian is doing.”
Justin pushed the button for the 5th floor and walked to room 514. He knocked and went in. Brian was just finishing his breakfast.
“Hey,” Justin said as he sat down.
Brian pushed the cart away. “At least this morning, I got eggs. I can’t wait to have some real food.”
“How are you feeling?” Justin asked, trying to judge Brian’s mood.
“How do think I feel? I’ve got this tube sticking out of my neck and a tube in my dick. I haven’t had a shower in …what day is it again? And I can’t stay awake more than two hours at a time,” Brian grumbled.
Justin didn’t know how to answer him, so he didn’t.
The nurse came in, smiling at Justin and Brian. “Good morning, Mr. Kinney. Ready to get up? I’m going to help you sit in this chair.”
“When do I lose the tubes? This one in my dick is not conducive to great sex.”
“Your kidneys appear to be working well. Your doctor will be in to see you shortly and you can ask him.” The nurse went over to Brian and helped him to swing his legs over the side of the bed. She placed his arms around her neck and pivoted him to the chair. “I’ll be back in about half an hour to help you back into bed.”
Justin looked carefully at Brian. Even sick, Brian still looked beautiful to him. His eyes traveled down his body toward his cock, and to his legs. His mouth dropped open when he saw the black sutures that lined Brian’s entire left leg.
“What?’ Brian asked. “What the fuck are you staring at?” Brian asked, and then looked down at his own body. “Shit! What the hell happened to my leg?” Brian said as he moved his hand to touch the stitches. “They go all the way up to my cock. Did you know anything about this, Justin?”
“No. The nurse mentioned stitches yesterday, but she said I had to talk to the doctor. Holy shit, Brian. They go all the way down your leg,” Justin said as he stood up to examine Brian.
“Get the fuck away from me. I’m not on display,” Brian said as he attempted to push Justin away.
Justin hurried back to his chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry’s bullshit. Wait till I talk to that doctor. I’ll have his balls for doing this to me!”
Justin just sat there and didn’t say a word. A few minutes later the doctor came in to check on Brian.
“Good to see you awake, Mr. Kinney. I see your urine output has returned to normal. As long as you continue to do well today, we’ll take the shunt out tomorrow,” Dr. Mora said as he examined the notes in the chart. “Looks like your stitches are healing well too. They should come out in a few days as well,” the doctor said as he pulled off the gloves he had put on to examine the sutures.
“What about the tube in my dick?”
Looking at the chart notes again, he said, “When we take out the shunt in your neck, we’ll take the catheter out of your penis.”
The doctor started to leave, but Justin asked, “Dr. Mora, why does Brian have stitches? He was in a coma, and I didn’t think that it had anything to do with his leg.”
“Mr. Kinney was apparently unconscious for several days before he was found. He was on his side, his leg awkwardly positioned, which combined with blood pooling and impaired circulation to create some serious blood clots. When he came in, the leg was in peril, and we needed to open the vessels to increase the blood flow. Once the flow had been restored, we stitched his leg back up. This all occurred before your arrival, Mr. Taylor.”
“Thank you, Doctor. When do you think Brian can be released?”
“I can’t really answer that question. Every day he will get stronger, but we won’t send him home until he can care for himself. So before he can go home, he’ll need to go to rehab in order to build up his strength. Two weeks of being in bed can really make you weak.”
“I see. Can the rehab be done at home?
“The initial treatment planning needs to be completed in the hospital, but when he is more independent, he can go home.”
The doctor left the room. Justin didn’t say anything. For once, he was going to take Brian’s advice and shut up. The nurse came in a few minutes later and assisted Brian back in bed.
“We’ll get you up again in two to three hours. You have to build up your strength. Do you need anything?”
“To get out of this shit hole.”
“I’m sorry. He’s not usually this rude,” Justin apologized to the nurse.
“I’m used to it. Most of my patients are in pain and don’t want to be here.”
Brian fell asleep after returning to bed. Justin watched him sleep as he thought about the doctor’s speech. Brian would need therapy, just like he did when he was bashed. He hoped that Brian wouldn’t have the problems that he’d had when he got out of the hospital. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to help Brian. He’d be leaving in two weeks to go to his show, but he really needed to go back to New York before then to talk to his agent, and take care of his studio and his apartment. Then he’d have to find studio space and an apartment here. He hadn’t really thought through all the ramifications of moving back to Pittsburgh. What if he was wrong and Brian really didn’t want him here? No, he told himself, Brian hadn’t changed his Medical Proxy; Brian still wanted him here.
^^^^^
“So you woke up? Good for you?” Vic said as he stood in front of Brian’s bed, wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
“You said I wasn’t dead. So why are you still here?” Brian asked as he glanced down at his body in the hospital room.
“No, you’re not dead, but you sure screwed up. You drugged yourself into a coma and messed up your leg, your kidneys … even your neck’s going to be scarred,” Vic said as he walked around the bed, examining Brian’s body. “What were you thinking, Brian? That little twink over there loves you. Were you missing him that badly?”
“No,” Brian answered too quickly.
“I know better. Can’t lie to me, Brian. Did too many drugs to ease the pain and now you got more pain coming your way than you ever bargained for. Ironic, isn’t it. You couldn’t tell him you missed him, so you almost killed yourself to get him to come home. You need to grow up and accept your feelings.”
Brian squirmed. “Vic,” he said, but Vic had disappeared again. Brian slept a little longer and woke up feeling more confused and unsettled than before.
^^^^^
Justin watched Brian sleep for awhile, and then he got his sketch book; once again drawing Brian, something he never got tired of doing.
“Twat,” Brian croaked as he woke up again. “Come here.”
Justin put down his sketch pad and walked over to Brian. He motioned to take Brian’s hand and Brian obliged. “What the fuck happened?”
“You were in a coma,” Justin said.
“I know that. Tell me how I got in this lovely coma,” Brian said, the snark coming back.
Justin didn’t respond right away. How do I tell him he OD’d on drugs and alcohol and I don’t believe for one minute that it was purely accidental? How do I tell him I hear his call for help and I’m here? How do I tell him I love him and I’m coming home? How do I tell him I won’t let him fail? How do I tell him…? I don’t. He’s Brian Kinney and he knows without my speaking the words. I have to show him.
“Well, I wasn’t there. The hospital called me when you arrived in the ER.”
“Jesus, Justin. Stop walking on damn eggshells and just tell me. I’m not going anywhere, and I need to know,” Brian sighed, exasperated with the conversation despite its short length.
He swallowed hard and looked away from Brian’s eyes. “You overdosed on drugs and alcohol.” A tear ran down his face, and he wiped it away. He hoped Brian didn’t see it.
“Your allergies acting up again?” Brian asked.
“Yeah, allergies,” Justin said.
“So, I O.D. ‘d. No wonder Vic’s been kicking my ass.”
Justin gave Brian a curious look. “Vic?” Justin asked as he looked into Brian’s eyes, trying to make sure he was really awake and still not sleeping.
“I guess I’ve been dreaming about the old queen. He’s ripped me a new one, too.”
“Oh,” Justin said, encouraging Brian to talk.
“Never mind. Why are you here?”
Justin let go of Brian’s hand and walked to the window. He had hoped the inquisition wouldn’t start so soon. He really wasn’t up to fighting with Brian today.
“You listed me as your emergency contact and Medical Proxy. They called me when you were brought in.”
“So I have you to thank for the Frankenstein design on my leg?” Brian said angrily as he pulled the covers off his legs. “Now they might let me be the Freak of Liberty Avenue rather than the Stud of Liberty Avenue!”
“Don’t, Brian. Just don’t. The scars will fade in time. Besides, most of your conquests are in the back room, and if I remember correctly it’s rather dark in there. No one will notice,” Justin joked, trying to lighten the mood. Justin pulled up the sheet and looked at the stitches. He gently kissed Brian’s knee, staying away from any of the angry red and black lines. “I think you are still beautiful.”
Brian rolls his eyes. “So if I’m no longer critical, you can go home.”
Justin sat down in the chair. “I don’t want to go home. You need my help, if for no other reason than to keep the family at bay. Debbie and Michael and Lindsay come here every day. Lindsay just cries and Michael tells me to leave and, well, Debbie yells at the nurses,” Justin said as he tried to paint a picture of his daily interactions.
“Okay. You can stay and keep the family away. But, once I get out of here, you leave.”
“I’m not talking about it now, Brian. You tried to get rid of me when you had cancer, and it didn’t work. It’s not going to work this time, but you need your rest. I’m getting some lunch.” Justin walked over to the bed and leaned over touching his forehead to Brian’s and said, “Later.”
Just like he had every time he left Brian’s room the last several weeks.
When Justin returned from lunch, he heard voices in Brian’s room. He hesitated a few moments before entering, since he still didn’t like to interact with the family. As Justin pushed open the door, Brian looked over to him with relief in his face. “You’re back, Sunshine. Now, do your job and tell Mikey to leave,” Brian demanded half serious, and half in jest.
Michael looked at Brian and then back at Justin. “Briannnnn,” Mikey whined. “What does he need to be here for? I’m your best friend and you two aren’t together anymore. He just came since the doctors say he has something called a Medical Proxy.”
Justin walked in the room and closed the door, hoping to keep the noise down and not disturb other patients. “Michael, as I have been telling you for the last two and half weeks, I’m here because I want to be here. Brian kept me as his Medical Proxy for a reason and that reason does not involve you.” Justin walked over to Brian and kissed him on the lips. “If you’re going to complain every time you visit, then I will have to insist you be taken off the visitor’s list.”
“Brian, I…”
“Shut up, Michael. I don’t need to hear you two go at it. I need my rest.” Brian lay back on his pillows and closed his eyes, effectively shutting out Michael.
“Justin, can you tell the nurse I’m ready to get up again. By the time he comes back, I want you gone, Michael,” Brian said as he waved Justin out the door.
Michael crossed his arms and said, “Fine, I’ll leave. But this isn’t over.” Michael stomped out the door.
Justin returned with the nurse, who assisted Brian out of the bed. After the nurse helped him into the chair, she left to see other patients.
Brian looked at Justin, grinning at his cleverness. “I think you make an excellent gate keeper. Maybe I should hire you to guard the front desk at Kinnetik.” Suddenly Brian’s face went white.
“Brian, Brian, Are you okay? Do I need to call the nurse?” Justin frantically was touching him for a response.
“I’m fine, Justin. Mentioning Kinnetik did it. I assume you have kept Cynthia and Theodore apprised of my condition. Kinnetik is still standing, isn’t it? I need to talk to Cynthia. Do you have your cell phone? I’ll call now,” Brian urgently demanded.
Justin took a few short breaths, calming his racing heart. He returned to his chair. “Of course, I’ve informed Ted and Cynthia. Ted’s been up a few times, and so has Cynthia. She’s your friend, not just an employee.” Justin dug in his messenger bag for some papers. “I’ve been making notes from her daily calls. She said I didn’t need to, but I insisted on keeping up with the business for you.” He showed Brian the notebook, but didn’t give it to him. “You can see it tomorrow when you’re not tired and can think clearly. It’s Saturday and nothing earth shattering will happen before Monday. We can call her tomorrow.” He placed the book back in his bag, placing it out of reach of Brian.
“Okay. So, how’s the hospital cafeteria. The food in my room is for shit, but you don’t seem any worse for wear,” Brian looked at Justin, eyeing him from head to toe.
“The food is tolerable. What’s really a bitch is that I can’t smoke in the building, and they don’t even sell cigarettes here! I have to walk two blocks to buy smokes and it’s freezing out there,” Justin used his mini drama queen voice.
Brian laughed for the first time, and Justin smiled when he heard the sound. ‘It’s good to hear you laugh and see you smile. I’ve missed that.”
A few minutes later, the nurse returned and assisted Brian back into bed. Brian was exhausted and closed his eyes, sleeping for several hours. While Brian slept, Daphne returned to the hospital, and Justin went out to the waiting area so they wouldn’t disturb Brian.
“Get your errands done?”
“Yeah. How is he today?”
Justin reached out to hold Daphne’s hands in his. “We talked and I told him he O.D. ‘ed. We also found out he had hundreds of stitches all the way up and around his leg. Seems he fell on it, and laying on it for 48 hours caused some blood clots. He sort of looks like Frankenstein, but I didn’t tell him that,” Justin laughed at his statement. “Michael came by and Brian kicked him out. That was pretty cool. Overall, it’s been a good day.”
“Justin, I know you love him, but is it enough?” Daphne asked as she squeezed his hands.
“Yes. I think this time it is. I’ve grown up a lot in New York. I know what I want, and I want Brian Kinney.”
“But what if he doesn’t want Justin Taylor?”
“I think he does, Daph, but if he doesn’t really want me here, then I’ll leave. I owe it to myself to try. He did ask me to marry him once- that should count for something.” Justin stood up and walked to the soda machine. Daphne followed him.
He put money into the machine and pushed the button for a Pepsi. “Want anything?” he asked Daphne.
“No, thanks.”
Justin returned to the waiting area, and motioned for Daphne to sit. “He always pushed me away because he thought he knew best. This time, it’s my turn. I’m painting and I’m doing what I want to do. I can do it here with him as my inspiration or I can do it in New York with my heart in pieces. I’d rather do it here.” Justin opened the soda and drank half the can. He passed it to Daphne, who took a few sips, and then passed it back to him.
“I hope you’re right,” Daphne said as she stood up to leave. “Gotta go. I promised my mom that I would help her paint my old room. I’ll be back about 8:00.”
“Thanks, Daphne. See you later.”
Justin returned to Brian’s room just as Brian was waking up.
“I hate that. Falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. I don’t want to talk anymore, Justin. Anything on the TV?”
Brian flipped through the channels, and they found an old Black and White James Dean movie on AMC. Brian quoted some of the lines, but mostly just watched the movie. Dinner was brought in and Brian ate about half the soup, all the toast and some Jell-O.
“The nurses say you’ve been improving every day. Tomorrow you can have whatever you want. Want me to bring you some Lemon Bars and a turkey sandwich from the diner?”
“Sounds good. I’m not sharing, so be sure to bring enough for yourself. I haven’t had a decent meal in a long time,” Brian said as he pushed himself up on the pillows. Justin moved the dinner tray away from the bed, and then watched the end of the movie with Brian.
“Daphne’s going to pick me up soon, so I’ve got to go down and wait for her. Anything else you want me to bring tomorrow?”
“Bring me my mail. I may have to have you take care of a few things.”
“But Brian, I’m not you. I don’t have access to your accounts,” Justin said as he packed his bag.
“Wrong, twat. You do. When we were going to get married, I made you my Medical Proxy and Power of Attorney, and I put your name on all my accounts. You have access to whatever you need.”
“But, I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me?” Justin asked as he looked at Brian.
“I was going to tell you, but then things changed, and then you left town, and well I’m telling you now,” Brian said in one fast sentence. “It’s not a big deal. I know you’re not going to steal from me or anything. It’s just for something like now.”
“Does anyone else know this?” Justin asked, as he envisioned the questions and accusations that would fly when the family found out this little tidbit.
“Ted knows, and Melanie. They needed to know. No one else, and they’re sworn to secrecy.”
“Okay.” Justin walked over to the bed, leaned over and touched his forehead to Brian’s saying, “Later.”
“Later,” Brian repeated.
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
Written By: sfscarlet
Timeline: Post Series
Rating: R
Warnings: none
Summary: Brian uses his time honored pain management techniques, but do they still work?
Author's Notes: Thank you to Jilla for the beta. Her feedback and commas are greatly appreciated. Any mistakes are mine. In my universe, Melanie and Lindsay did not go to Canada. All medical mistakes are mine.
Justin retrieved his cell and called Daphne, hoping she was home.
“Justin,” she answered. “I’m almost to the hospital. I thought you’d be about ready to go home.”
“I love you, Daphne. I was so not looking forward to riding the bus tonight. Brian may be awake, but he’s being an asshole,” Justin said as he pushed the elevator button to go to the lobby.
“I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Wait in the lobby and I’ll drive up,” Daphne said as she maneuvered her way through the light traffic.
“Good. I’ll be waiting,” Justin said as he walked out of the elevator and shut his phone. He took a seat by the door so he could watch for Daphne’s car. A few minutes later, her car drove up to the patient loading area and he got in it.
“Thanks, I’m exhausted,” Justin said as he placed his bag on the back seat. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, dozing off as Daphne drove them home.
When they arrived home, Justin woke up. “Sorry. I guess I’m exhausted. I never appreciated what my mother went through after the bashing. Not only did she spend a lot of her day at the hospital, but she also took care of Molly.” Justin gathered his messenger bag from the back seat and brought it into the house. “I’m going to bed. They’re supposed to get him out of bed tomorrow. Let him sit in a chair and maybe stand for a few minutes. I want to be there when he gets up.”
“Good night, Justin. It’s Saturday, so I don’t have to work. I can stay with you at the hospital if you want.” Daphne hung her keys up on the hook by the door, took off her coat, draped it on the chair, and yawned. “I guess I’ll go to bed, too. It’s been a long week.”
The next morning, they ate a quick breakfast, getting an early start on the drive. Daphne made her way onto the highway and matched her car’s speed with the other cars. “So how is Brian? Have you told him what happened?”
Justin fiddled with the radio, turning the volume down before answering. “He’s in a really bad mood. He doesn’t like the food, keeps telling me to leave and having a conversation with someone who can only stay awake for fifteen minutes at a time is difficult.”
Daphne didn’t like the song on the radio and she pushed a different button for another station. Pulling down her visor, she handed Justin a CD. “Put that in. I don’t know why you insist on listening to the radio. There’s nothing but crap on.”
Justin put the CD on and The Fray played loudly.
“Still think you want to stay here? If he’s like that again today, it will be even harder than normal.”
Justin laughed. “Normal. What the hell is normal for Brian Kinney? Brian never wants anyone to do anything for him, and he always wants to tell me what I should do. He thinks he knows best. Well this time, he doesn’t get to tell me what to do.” Justin watched the snow fall on the road as they drove.
“Your show’s in two weeks. Don’t you have to go back?”
“Yeah, I do, but only for the night. I talked to my mom, and she said she’d buy me the ticket. I could leave right after lunch, and be back the next morning.”
“Are you sure? Do you really want to put your life on hold like that?’
Justin turned toward Daphne and said, “I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few weeks and I’ve made a decision. I can paint anywhere, but Brian is here, and I need to be with him. I can go to New York a few times a month to talk to galleries, but I don’t want to live there anymore.”
“Okay, but what if Brian doesn’t want you here?” Daphne asked as she played devil’s advocate. “He told you to go away,” she reminded him.
Justin frowned at her logic. “True, but he left me as his Power of Attorney and Medical Proxy. I’ve been gone almost a year and half. I’ve got an agent, and my work is selling. I’ve done the New York thing, now I need to return to my life and Brian.”
Daphne sighed. “You’re still the romantic, but Brian’s a hard sell.”
“I know, but I wrote the Brian Kinney operating manual, and this is just a new chapter in the book.”
Daphne signaled to get off the highway. She followed the signs to the hospital and parked the car in the parking garage. She unbuckled her seatbelt and watched Justin do the same.
“Justin, I don’t want to see you hurt. Can’t we talk a little longer before you go up?”
Justin looked at his watch and shook his head. “Not now, Daph. The nurses told me they would be getting him up after breakfast and that should be any time now. We’ll talk later. Are you staying or will you be back?”
Daphne sighed. “I’ll be back in a few hours - I have some errands to run. Will you promise that we’ll talk then?” she asked as she grabbed his hands and placed them in her own.
“Okay. We’ll talk later, but I’m not promising it will be here. It depends on how Brian is doing.”
Justin pushed the button for the 5th floor and walked to room 514. He knocked and went in. Brian was just finishing his breakfast.
“Hey,” Justin said as he sat down.
Brian pushed the cart away. “At least this morning, I got eggs. I can’t wait to have some real food.”
“How are you feeling?” Justin asked, trying to judge Brian’s mood.
“How do think I feel? I’ve got this tube sticking out of my neck and a tube in my dick. I haven’t had a shower in …what day is it again? And I can’t stay awake more than two hours at a time,” Brian grumbled.
Justin didn’t know how to answer him, so he didn’t.
The nurse came in, smiling at Justin and Brian. “Good morning, Mr. Kinney. Ready to get up? I’m going to help you sit in this chair.”
“When do I lose the tubes? This one in my dick is not conducive to great sex.”
“Your kidneys appear to be working well. Your doctor will be in to see you shortly and you can ask him.” The nurse went over to Brian and helped him to swing his legs over the side of the bed. She placed his arms around her neck and pivoted him to the chair. “I’ll be back in about half an hour to help you back into bed.”
Justin looked carefully at Brian. Even sick, Brian still looked beautiful to him. His eyes traveled down his body toward his cock, and to his legs. His mouth dropped open when he saw the black sutures that lined Brian’s entire left leg.
“What?’ Brian asked. “What the fuck are you staring at?” Brian asked, and then looked down at his own body. “Shit! What the hell happened to my leg?” Brian said as he moved his hand to touch the stitches. “They go all the way up to my cock. Did you know anything about this, Justin?”
“No. The nurse mentioned stitches yesterday, but she said I had to talk to the doctor. Holy shit, Brian. They go all the way down your leg,” Justin said as he stood up to examine Brian.
“Get the fuck away from me. I’m not on display,” Brian said as he attempted to push Justin away.
Justin hurried back to his chair. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry’s bullshit. Wait till I talk to that doctor. I’ll have his balls for doing this to me!”
Justin just sat there and didn’t say a word. A few minutes later the doctor came in to check on Brian.
“Good to see you awake, Mr. Kinney. I see your urine output has returned to normal. As long as you continue to do well today, we’ll take the shunt out tomorrow,” Dr. Mora said as he examined the notes in the chart. “Looks like your stitches are healing well too. They should come out in a few days as well,” the doctor said as he pulled off the gloves he had put on to examine the sutures.
“What about the tube in my dick?”
Looking at the chart notes again, he said, “When we take out the shunt in your neck, we’ll take the catheter out of your penis.”
The doctor started to leave, but Justin asked, “Dr. Mora, why does Brian have stitches? He was in a coma, and I didn’t think that it had anything to do with his leg.”
“Mr. Kinney was apparently unconscious for several days before he was found. He was on his side, his leg awkwardly positioned, which combined with blood pooling and impaired circulation to create some serious blood clots. When he came in, the leg was in peril, and we needed to open the vessels to increase the blood flow. Once the flow had been restored, we stitched his leg back up. This all occurred before your arrival, Mr. Taylor.”
“Thank you, Doctor. When do you think Brian can be released?”
“I can’t really answer that question. Every day he will get stronger, but we won’t send him home until he can care for himself. So before he can go home, he’ll need to go to rehab in order to build up his strength. Two weeks of being in bed can really make you weak.”
“I see. Can the rehab be done at home?
“The initial treatment planning needs to be completed in the hospital, but when he is more independent, he can go home.”
The doctor left the room. Justin didn’t say anything. For once, he was going to take Brian’s advice and shut up. The nurse came in a few minutes later and assisted Brian back in bed.
“We’ll get you up again in two to three hours. You have to build up your strength. Do you need anything?”
“To get out of this shit hole.”
“I’m sorry. He’s not usually this rude,” Justin apologized to the nurse.
“I’m used to it. Most of my patients are in pain and don’t want to be here.”
Brian fell asleep after returning to bed. Justin watched him sleep as he thought about the doctor’s speech. Brian would need therapy, just like he did when he was bashed. He hoped that Brian wouldn’t have the problems that he’d had when he got out of the hospital. He didn’t know if he was strong enough to help Brian. He’d be leaving in two weeks to go to his show, but he really needed to go back to New York before then to talk to his agent, and take care of his studio and his apartment. Then he’d have to find studio space and an apartment here. He hadn’t really thought through all the ramifications of moving back to Pittsburgh. What if he was wrong and Brian really didn’t want him here? No, he told himself, Brian hadn’t changed his Medical Proxy; Brian still wanted him here.
^^^^^
“So you woke up? Good for you?” Vic said as he stood in front of Brian’s bed, wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
“You said I wasn’t dead. So why are you still here?” Brian asked as he glanced down at his body in the hospital room.
“No, you’re not dead, but you sure screwed up. You drugged yourself into a coma and messed up your leg, your kidneys … even your neck’s going to be scarred,” Vic said as he walked around the bed, examining Brian’s body. “What were you thinking, Brian? That little twink over there loves you. Were you missing him that badly?”
“No,” Brian answered too quickly.
“I know better. Can’t lie to me, Brian. Did too many drugs to ease the pain and now you got more pain coming your way than you ever bargained for. Ironic, isn’t it. You couldn’t tell him you missed him, so you almost killed yourself to get him to come home. You need to grow up and accept your feelings.”
Brian squirmed. “Vic,” he said, but Vic had disappeared again. Brian slept a little longer and woke up feeling more confused and unsettled than before.
^^^^^
Justin watched Brian sleep for awhile, and then he got his sketch book; once again drawing Brian, something he never got tired of doing.
“Twat,” Brian croaked as he woke up again. “Come here.”
Justin put down his sketch pad and walked over to Brian. He motioned to take Brian’s hand and Brian obliged. “What the fuck happened?”
“You were in a coma,” Justin said.
“I know that. Tell me how I got in this lovely coma,” Brian said, the snark coming back.
Justin didn’t respond right away. How do I tell him he OD’d on drugs and alcohol and I don’t believe for one minute that it was purely accidental? How do I tell him I hear his call for help and I’m here? How do I tell him I love him and I’m coming home? How do I tell him I won’t let him fail? How do I tell him…? I don’t. He’s Brian Kinney and he knows without my speaking the words. I have to show him.
“Well, I wasn’t there. The hospital called me when you arrived in the ER.”
“Jesus, Justin. Stop walking on damn eggshells and just tell me. I’m not going anywhere, and I need to know,” Brian sighed, exasperated with the conversation despite its short length.
He swallowed hard and looked away from Brian’s eyes. “You overdosed on drugs and alcohol.” A tear ran down his face, and he wiped it away. He hoped Brian didn’t see it.
“Your allergies acting up again?” Brian asked.
“Yeah, allergies,” Justin said.
“So, I O.D. ‘d. No wonder Vic’s been kicking my ass.”
Justin gave Brian a curious look. “Vic?” Justin asked as he looked into Brian’s eyes, trying to make sure he was really awake and still not sleeping.
“I guess I’ve been dreaming about the old queen. He’s ripped me a new one, too.”
“Oh,” Justin said, encouraging Brian to talk.
“Never mind. Why are you here?”
Justin let go of Brian’s hand and walked to the window. He had hoped the inquisition wouldn’t start so soon. He really wasn’t up to fighting with Brian today.
“You listed me as your emergency contact and Medical Proxy. They called me when you were brought in.”
“So I have you to thank for the Frankenstein design on my leg?” Brian said angrily as he pulled the covers off his legs. “Now they might let me be the Freak of Liberty Avenue rather than the Stud of Liberty Avenue!”
“Don’t, Brian. Just don’t. The scars will fade in time. Besides, most of your conquests are in the back room, and if I remember correctly it’s rather dark in there. No one will notice,” Justin joked, trying to lighten the mood. Justin pulled up the sheet and looked at the stitches. He gently kissed Brian’s knee, staying away from any of the angry red and black lines. “I think you are still beautiful.”
Brian rolls his eyes. “So if I’m no longer critical, you can go home.”
Justin sat down in the chair. “I don’t want to go home. You need my help, if for no other reason than to keep the family at bay. Debbie and Michael and Lindsay come here every day. Lindsay just cries and Michael tells me to leave and, well, Debbie yells at the nurses,” Justin said as he tried to paint a picture of his daily interactions.
“Okay. You can stay and keep the family away. But, once I get out of here, you leave.”
“I’m not talking about it now, Brian. You tried to get rid of me when you had cancer, and it didn’t work. It’s not going to work this time, but you need your rest. I’m getting some lunch.” Justin walked over to the bed and leaned over touching his forehead to Brian’s and said, “Later.”
Just like he had every time he left Brian’s room the last several weeks.
When Justin returned from lunch, he heard voices in Brian’s room. He hesitated a few moments before entering, since he still didn’t like to interact with the family. As Justin pushed open the door, Brian looked over to him with relief in his face. “You’re back, Sunshine. Now, do your job and tell Mikey to leave,” Brian demanded half serious, and half in jest.
Michael looked at Brian and then back at Justin. “Briannnnn,” Mikey whined. “What does he need to be here for? I’m your best friend and you two aren’t together anymore. He just came since the doctors say he has something called a Medical Proxy.”
Justin walked in the room and closed the door, hoping to keep the noise down and not disturb other patients. “Michael, as I have been telling you for the last two and half weeks, I’m here because I want to be here. Brian kept me as his Medical Proxy for a reason and that reason does not involve you.” Justin walked over to Brian and kissed him on the lips. “If you’re going to complain every time you visit, then I will have to insist you be taken off the visitor’s list.”
“Brian, I…”
“Shut up, Michael. I don’t need to hear you two go at it. I need my rest.” Brian lay back on his pillows and closed his eyes, effectively shutting out Michael.
“Justin, can you tell the nurse I’m ready to get up again. By the time he comes back, I want you gone, Michael,” Brian said as he waved Justin out the door.
Michael crossed his arms and said, “Fine, I’ll leave. But this isn’t over.” Michael stomped out the door.
Justin returned with the nurse, who assisted Brian out of the bed. After the nurse helped him into the chair, she left to see other patients.
Brian looked at Justin, grinning at his cleverness. “I think you make an excellent gate keeper. Maybe I should hire you to guard the front desk at Kinnetik.” Suddenly Brian’s face went white.
“Brian, Brian, Are you okay? Do I need to call the nurse?” Justin frantically was touching him for a response.
“I’m fine, Justin. Mentioning Kinnetik did it. I assume you have kept Cynthia and Theodore apprised of my condition. Kinnetik is still standing, isn’t it? I need to talk to Cynthia. Do you have your cell phone? I’ll call now,” Brian urgently demanded.
Justin took a few short breaths, calming his racing heart. He returned to his chair. “Of course, I’ve informed Ted and Cynthia. Ted’s been up a few times, and so has Cynthia. She’s your friend, not just an employee.” Justin dug in his messenger bag for some papers. “I’ve been making notes from her daily calls. She said I didn’t need to, but I insisted on keeping up with the business for you.” He showed Brian the notebook, but didn’t give it to him. “You can see it tomorrow when you’re not tired and can think clearly. It’s Saturday and nothing earth shattering will happen before Monday. We can call her tomorrow.” He placed the book back in his bag, placing it out of reach of Brian.
“Okay. So, how’s the hospital cafeteria. The food in my room is for shit, but you don’t seem any worse for wear,” Brian looked at Justin, eyeing him from head to toe.
“The food is tolerable. What’s really a bitch is that I can’t smoke in the building, and they don’t even sell cigarettes here! I have to walk two blocks to buy smokes and it’s freezing out there,” Justin used his mini drama queen voice.
Brian laughed for the first time, and Justin smiled when he heard the sound. ‘It’s good to hear you laugh and see you smile. I’ve missed that.”
A few minutes later, the nurse returned and assisted Brian back into bed. Brian was exhausted and closed his eyes, sleeping for several hours. While Brian slept, Daphne returned to the hospital, and Justin went out to the waiting area so they wouldn’t disturb Brian.
“Get your errands done?”
“Yeah. How is he today?”
Justin reached out to hold Daphne’s hands in his. “We talked and I told him he O.D. ‘ed. We also found out he had hundreds of stitches all the way up and around his leg. Seems he fell on it, and laying on it for 48 hours caused some blood clots. He sort of looks like Frankenstein, but I didn’t tell him that,” Justin laughed at his statement. “Michael came by and Brian kicked him out. That was pretty cool. Overall, it’s been a good day.”
“Justin, I know you love him, but is it enough?” Daphne asked as she squeezed his hands.
“Yes. I think this time it is. I’ve grown up a lot in New York. I know what I want, and I want Brian Kinney.”
“But what if he doesn’t want Justin Taylor?”
“I think he does, Daph, but if he doesn’t really want me here, then I’ll leave. I owe it to myself to try. He did ask me to marry him once- that should count for something.” Justin stood up and walked to the soda machine. Daphne followed him.
He put money into the machine and pushed the button for a Pepsi. “Want anything?” he asked Daphne.
“No, thanks.”
Justin returned to the waiting area, and motioned for Daphne to sit. “He always pushed me away because he thought he knew best. This time, it’s my turn. I’m painting and I’m doing what I want to do. I can do it here with him as my inspiration or I can do it in New York with my heart in pieces. I’d rather do it here.” Justin opened the soda and drank half the can. He passed it to Daphne, who took a few sips, and then passed it back to him.
“I hope you’re right,” Daphne said as she stood up to leave. “Gotta go. I promised my mom that I would help her paint my old room. I’ll be back about 8:00.”
“Thanks, Daphne. See you later.”
Justin returned to Brian’s room just as Brian was waking up.
“I hate that. Falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. I don’t want to talk anymore, Justin. Anything on the TV?”
Brian flipped through the channels, and they found an old Black and White James Dean movie on AMC. Brian quoted some of the lines, but mostly just watched the movie. Dinner was brought in and Brian ate about half the soup, all the toast and some Jell-O.
“The nurses say you’ve been improving every day. Tomorrow you can have whatever you want. Want me to bring you some Lemon Bars and a turkey sandwich from the diner?”
“Sounds good. I’m not sharing, so be sure to bring enough for yourself. I haven’t had a decent meal in a long time,” Brian said as he pushed himself up on the pillows. Justin moved the dinner tray away from the bed, and then watched the end of the movie with Brian.
“Daphne’s going to pick me up soon, so I’ve got to go down and wait for her. Anything else you want me to bring tomorrow?”
“Bring me my mail. I may have to have you take care of a few things.”
“But Brian, I’m not you. I don’t have access to your accounts,” Justin said as he packed his bag.
“Wrong, twat. You do. When we were going to get married, I made you my Medical Proxy and Power of Attorney, and I put your name on all my accounts. You have access to whatever you need.”
“But, I never knew. Why didn’t you tell me?” Justin asked as he looked at Brian.
“I was going to tell you, but then things changed, and then you left town, and well I’m telling you now,” Brian said in one fast sentence. “It’s not a big deal. I know you’re not going to steal from me or anything. It’s just for something like now.”
“Does anyone else know this?” Justin asked, as he envisioned the questions and accusations that would fly when the family found out this little tidbit.
“Ted knows, and Melanie. They needed to know. No one else, and they’re sworn to secrecy.”
“Okay.” Justin walked over to the bed, leaned over and touched his forehead to Brian’s saying, “Later.”
“Later,” Brian repeated.
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4