Comments | bjfic: Everything at Once-Chapter 4-Solitaire- Brian's POV

plumsuede in bjfic

Everything at Once-Chapter 4-Solitaire- Brian's POV

Sep 21, 2004 12:25

It isn’t like I haven’t been alone in my bed before. Or been alone in my bed or my head right after I’ve fucked him. Or waited for him to get back. Or get home.

I light a cigarette. Stay on my back. Stare at the ceiling. Try to keep my mind on something other than what just happened.

“Yes. That’s all you can say. Just ‘yes.’” He was ( Read more... )

plumsuede - everything at once, plumsuede

Comments 26

twistinside82 September 21 2004, 10:13:14 UTC

The following lines have killed me dead.

There is more irony in this bed sometimes than there is fucking.

Dead from the perfection.

My hips would not stop following his face. They were embarrassing me.

No words as to how much this killed me.

“I felt like that orgasm was trying to kill me. Like it was trying to hunt me down and kill me. I think it did.”

I feel like that line was trying to kill me. Like it was trying to hunt me down and kill me. I think it did.

plumsuede September 21 2004, 13:30:49 UTC

I am trying to call you an ambulance. Please respond..... Thank you for that feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time. It means a lot. Please keep reading.

twistinside82 September 21 2004, 14:06:46 UTC

I think I'm good, you can call off the EMT's. Thanks though, that was very nice of you! =P

And if you keep writing, I'll keep reading! =D

kinneytay September 21 2004, 11:35:13 UTC

Man I need a cigarette!......good as always!

qafhappy September 21 2004, 13:27:34 UTC

Man, that is so good.

When is Justin going to tell him about LA? Or did I miss it somewhere? The tension is killing me (and maybe Brian).

plumsuede September 21 2004, 13:34:11 UTC

You haven't missed anything. Thanks for reading and commenting!! Stay tuned.
xoxo

(The comment has been removed)

plumsuede September 21 2004, 22:40:21 UTC

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I don't like to break hearts, but sometimes there is some pain before some gain. Ugh. I feel it too. Like that helps.

kitkatbyte September 21 2004, 20:31:20 UTC

ldksfjlsdjgsdl;gkjaselkrje

WOAH. Wow that was very hot. The writing, also, was fabulous. I was so entirely entranced. The idea of the fic was so interesting! I was sure that Justin would say "do you love me?". But then again, that might be slightly OOC.

Just to be constructive... I got slightly distracted by all of the sentence fragments. Maybe they would flow better if you used commas to separate them, instead of splitting them up? It's just an idea. :)

plumsuede September 21 2004, 22:38:22 UTC

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate you staying with the story.
I was sure that Justin would say "do you love me?". But then again, that might be slightly OOC.
IMHO--I think that Justin (most of the time) subscribes to Brian's "willing suspension of disbelief." He is usually not afraid to identify what Brian needs in a particular moment and give it to him. I think this is one of the main reasons that their relationship works on a very basic level.