Everything at Once-Chapter 2-Distraction-NC-17-Brian's POV

[plumsuede]

Everything At Once

Chapter 2-Distraction-Brian’s POV

C'mon angel my hearts on fire
Don't deny your man's desire
You'd be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside

We walk to the bedroom. He’s pulling me, but I'm cooperating. I'm tired much earlier these days now. I stop at my nightstand to remove my watch

Comments

very very good

[kinneytay]

WTG chick. I love the changes. Excellent job.

Hooked

[theiax]

My God that was wonderful. Poor Brian is in a turmoil isn't he. Wanting to have as much of Justin while he can. Michael's words have completely thrown him haven't they.

The sex was slow, but very hot, the emotions between the two even hotter. Much, much sexier sometimes than the big, hard and fast fuck. This was lovemaking at its best.

Then coming down from that we, I include myself with J here, were feeling satisfied, all sleepy and mellow, just relaxing after a beautiful experience and BAM..... rudely shaken awake by a couple of well chosen words! LOL I'm stunned, I very much think Justin is too!

Fabulous stuff, love it and want more. Please.

Thank you.

Re: Hooked

[plumsuede]

That was, without a doubt, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. *blotting tears* I am so glad you rode the ride with me. Please, buckle your seat belt, and be sure your tray table is in the upright and locked position. Thank you so much for reading and responding. xoxo

[joesther]

“So, it’s really true then? That’s crazy, Brian. What about Gus? You’re telling me that Lindsay is leaving, make that left, the one person she loves more than anyone in the world without even really talking about it?”

“I guess so, Justin. When are you?”

*jaw drops*

Wow. Well, after as intense a chapter as that one, I really didn't expect that as the last sentence.

And I really didn't expect to find such a surprising new author as you. Your characterizations so far seem to be pretty good and the plot is really interesting (and I'm not a fan of post 414 angst, but you've sucked me in. Congrats!).

I'm impressed. And I'm really eager to read more. Very curious to see where you take this.

Thanks for this. How often will you be updating, and are you posting this elsewhere?

wow, thanks

[plumsuede]

I really appreciate the flattery. *blushing* Whoah. Right now, it's only posted in this community. A friend of mine is launching a website and soon it will be there as well. Other than that, I'm open. I will be updating fairly often. I've written through Chap 8, but I'm not done revising all of it yet. So, I'll probably update every other day or so. Chapter 3 will probably go up today. Again, thanks for reading and commenting.

[kitkatbyte]

OH wow. I loved this as much as the first part. It was a calm, easy read with interesting little details. The only crit I can give is that I felt like it was kinda stalled somewhere around here..

"In a few minutes, I’m going to be inside you and I want you to be ready for me. Can you do that for me? Can you be ready for me?" He opens his eyes and looks at me, almost searching my face. I kiss him before he can answer.

It was just too much dialog for me. And it felt OOC a bit.

It's just a tiny gripe within a whole chapter of very good writing. I love the metaphore about the king the most of all. Very cute and playful. I can't wait for the next chapter! Your cliffhanger has made me anxious!

thanks

[plumsuede]

Thank you for the specific feedback. It helps. But I need a little more--"OOC"--you lost me. I know...newbie...I guess. *shucks* I'm so glad you liked the metaphor. xoxo for feedback

Re: thanks

[kitkatbyte]

Oh! sorry. I got all net-speak-y.

OOC = Out Of Character. I couldn't picture Brian actually asking Justin that. I think he would assume Justin would be ready for him.. because jeez, they are well into the quadruple digits of fucking each other, you know? I think with that much practice Justin could do it in his sleep. And the way the dialog was makes it sound like Brian is asking Justin to do him a favor, or something... Brian isn't really the type to ask things of people.

Re: thanks

[plumsuede]

Okay, I'm w/ you now. I think your interpretation is intersting and valid. But for Brian, at that moment, for me, it wasn't asking for a favor, it was Brian getting off on the the play-by-play... etc....

But now, I know OOC--thanx!

[ozbrat]

Brilliant ending! This is a great fic. I look forward to chapter 3 :D

thanks

[plumsuede]

thanks for reading and commenting. I LOVE your icon. It's heavenly.