FIC! Rock Me Gently (2/?)
Title: Rock Me Gently
Rating: PG-13
Author: sunshine_kin
Summary: People cope in different ways. This is Justin's.
Warnings: major character death, ghosts, AU
Comments: The title is from The Pixies's song from the Fight Club soundtrack, "Where is My Mind?" MANY THANKS to my excellent beta, darksylvia.
Read part one, here!
---Rock Me Gently---
Part 2/?: Where is My Mind?
I've seen the rain fall in Africa.
I've touched the snow of Alaska.
I've felt the mist of Niagara
I believe, in you.
Boyzone - A Different Beat
Shocked. His crestfallen face is clearly outlined from the view atop the rainbow. Justin somehow knows that Brian's resting on the rainbow, legs crossed at the ankles, hands folded in his lap and eyebrows tightly creased in thought.
Sighing deeply, Justin sits on the grass until he sees the rainbow begin to fade, wondering how rainbows form without rain.
Justin blinks. Hard. Suddenly feeling fidgety, he speaks aloud, "This is crazy. This," he gestures sharply to the sky similarly to how Brian held his arm up moments before, "is ridiculous. This can't be. I must be dreaming."
He chuckles to himself and begins the trek back to the crowd of mourners. Just before he's noticed, he casually brushes his tear-streaked face with his sleeve and puts on a brave smile.
"Oh, honey. I'm glad to see you smile. Brian's in another place," his mom gives him a tight hug and holds him close.
"I know it," Justin states defiantly. "I just wish...I just..."
"What, honey?" Concern is in her tone. Justin is silent. "Sweetheart, if this is about you and Brian being gay and not getting into heaven, that's absolute---"
"--ly untrue. Don't even think about it, mom. Don't jinx this. He might visit me again if he has a chance." Justin runs his hand through his golden hair in frustration. "God, how could I have been so stupid? All I had to do was..." Justin gasps suddenly, "How long would I have had him?"
His mother is clearly confused. But Justin continues mumbling as she tells him quietly that it's time to go and walks him to her car, helps him into it and pulls away from the cemetery. She'll have him at her house for the night, he won't want to go back to...
"Mom, you missed a left. You have to drop me off first!"
The incredulous expression on his mother's face quickly wrinkles into a frown. But she doesn't argue and takes Justin to the loft.
// * \\
Once a comforting sound of security, the resonating thud of shutting the door brings Justin back to the present.
This drained and empty feeling won't leave Justin's body and he wonders if he'll ever be able to smile again. He thinks briefly about Brian's visit from the beyond and his stupidity for not obeying. He begins chastising himself aloud again. Finally he stands in front of the counter, eyes and face red from held-back tears, repeatedly mumbling, "If only, if only..." dozens of times over and over again to himself.
"You didn't think I'd abandon you forever, did you, Sunshine?" a familiar voice begins. Eyes wide and mind reeling, Justin resists turning around. "I had to bargain my remaining ball away to be given a second chance," Brian chuckles.
The laughter sounds like an angelic melody to Justin.
As if it were a safety precaution, Justin feels a silk sash slide around his head and over his eyes. Brian's strong fingers thread through his hair, tugging gently at stray wisps of hair before smoothing out.
Justin doesn't think about how irrational he is, how impossible the situation could possibly be, or how he may just be going crazy. He feels Brian and that's all that matters.
Breathing in the scent of Brian, he decides that if he can't see him, he'll touch him. He slowly brings his hand to Brian's face, gently pressing his fingers against his cheeks, relishing the soft skin of a clean shaven face. Justin no longer cares and clasps his hands around Brian's neck and kisses him fiercely, savoring his familiar taste.
Justin feels lost when Brian pulls away, and bravely asks, "How long will you stay?"
"As long as it takes," is the whispered reply.
* * *
Feedback makes me happy.
Rating: PG-13
Author: sunshine_kin
Summary: People cope in different ways. This is Justin's.
Warnings: major character death, ghosts, AU
Comments: The title is from The Pixies's song from the Fight Club soundtrack, "Where is My Mind?" MANY THANKS to my excellent beta, darksylvia.
Read part one, here!
---Rock Me Gently---
Part 2/?: Where is My Mind?
I've seen the rain fall in Africa.
I've touched the snow of Alaska.
I've felt the mist of Niagara
I believe, in you.
Boyzone - A Different Beat
Shocked. His crestfallen face is clearly outlined from the view atop the rainbow. Justin somehow knows that Brian's resting on the rainbow, legs crossed at the ankles, hands folded in his lap and eyebrows tightly creased in thought.
Sighing deeply, Justin sits on the grass until he sees the rainbow begin to fade, wondering how rainbows form without rain.
Justin blinks. Hard. Suddenly feeling fidgety, he speaks aloud, "This is crazy. This," he gestures sharply to the sky similarly to how Brian held his arm up moments before, "is ridiculous. This can't be. I must be dreaming."
He chuckles to himself and begins the trek back to the crowd of mourners. Just before he's noticed, he casually brushes his tear-streaked face with his sleeve and puts on a brave smile.
"Oh, honey. I'm glad to see you smile. Brian's in another place," his mom gives him a tight hug and holds him close.
"I know it," Justin states defiantly. "I just wish...I just..."
"What, honey?" Concern is in her tone. Justin is silent. "Sweetheart, if this is about you and Brian being gay and not getting into heaven, that's absolute---"
"--ly untrue. Don't even think about it, mom. Don't jinx this. He might visit me again if he has a chance." Justin runs his hand through his golden hair in frustration. "God, how could I have been so stupid? All I had to do was..." Justin gasps suddenly, "How long would I have had him?"
His mother is clearly confused. But Justin continues mumbling as she tells him quietly that it's time to go and walks him to her car, helps him into it and pulls away from the cemetery. She'll have him at her house for the night, he won't want to go back to...
"Mom, you missed a left. You have to drop me off first!"
The incredulous expression on his mother's face quickly wrinkles into a frown. But she doesn't argue and takes Justin to the loft.
// * \\
Once a comforting sound of security, the resonating thud of shutting the door brings Justin back to the present.
This drained and empty feeling won't leave Justin's body and he wonders if he'll ever be able to smile again. He thinks briefly about Brian's visit from the beyond and his stupidity for not obeying. He begins chastising himself aloud again. Finally he stands in front of the counter, eyes and face red from held-back tears, repeatedly mumbling, "If only, if only..." dozens of times over and over again to himself.
"You didn't think I'd abandon you forever, did you, Sunshine?" a familiar voice begins. Eyes wide and mind reeling, Justin resists turning around. "I had to bargain my remaining ball away to be given a second chance," Brian chuckles.
The laughter sounds like an angelic melody to Justin.
As if it were a safety precaution, Justin feels a silk sash slide around his head and over his eyes. Brian's strong fingers thread through his hair, tugging gently at stray wisps of hair before smoothing out.
Justin doesn't think about how irrational he is, how impossible the situation could possibly be, or how he may just be going crazy. He feels Brian and that's all that matters.
Breathing in the scent of Brian, he decides that if he can't see him, he'll touch him. He slowly brings his hand to Brian's face, gently pressing his fingers against his cheeks, relishing the soft skin of a clean shaven face. Justin no longer cares and clasps his hands around Brian's neck and kisses him fiercely, savoring his familiar taste.
Justin feels lost when Brian pulls away, and bravely asks, "How long will you stay?"
"As long as it takes," is the whispered reply.
* * *
Feedback makes me happy.