sm_monthly January Theme 14: Forgiven by Within Temptation

[bjfactory]

If you have time, please let me know: Was this too melodramatic? Too angsty? Too different? Too out-of-character? (Why the hell did you pick those corny/awkward names?! - that type of thing) Thanks!

Khariton - Lord Jadeite
Beset - Lady Mars

the feel of her name

Couldn't save you from the start

Comments

[sea_thoughts]

Urgh, this makes me feel really sick. The writing is so intense and unrelenting. Poor Mars, poor Jadeite. :(

[bjfactory]

Thanks so much! I hope I can continue to make this as intense for the rest of the chapters!

[bjfactory]

Well... uh... without the part that makes you feel really sick.

[sea_thoughts]

Oh, I just meant that because it was so intense, I felt sick at what happened to him, and her physical reaction.

[bjfactory]

Relief! I wanted and tried to make the two more light-hearted, but they are just the couple that screams angst to me! Even Venus had a personality that could inject some humor into situations, but these two are just so serious! Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it then!

[sea_thoughts]

Nah... Jadeite has a sarcastic sense of humour but they do not lend themselves easily to fluff.