the string around my waist
There is an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry is starting an exercise program and his extremely old trainer, with his extremely archaic fitness regimen, ties a string around Jerry's waist and then ties the other end to the bumper of a car so he can run along behind. Of course, in true Seinfeld fashion, the car ends up going much too fast because of something Kramer did and Jerry is unable to keep up. And this is my life. I am running my ass off, and every once in a while I go a little too slowly and get jerked forward. Not enough to fall, but just enough to remind me that my life is going to keep on pulling, whether I'm running of my own accord or just dragging behind. Today I met with Tom McRoberts about my crazy plan to apply to the London School of Economics--one of the most competitive schools in the WORLD--for a one-year masters program. And he actually thought it was a good idea. And that I would have no problem getting in--which I can't bring myself to be optimistic enough to believe, but is a cute, idyllic little thought. So here it is, almost December. Graduate admissions began in October, and are rolling, which means that there are x number of open spots and when they are filled, they are filled. So the clock is ticking. In 2006, in the program I am vaguely looking at applying to, 21 of 200+ applicants were admitted. Holy. Fuck. 21 people. From across the entire WORLD. Me being one of those people seems about as likely as me becoming a circus performer.
And I want to go on a May session trip. And I want to do ELTAP and go somewhere crazy. And about 50 bajillion other things. And time just keeps on going...I have panicky moments where I swear that I am just going to wake up one day and be 35 and living in Dickinson and working at the cabinet factory or something. I was recently talking to someone who just graduated from college and was just hired by SDFU. Which is great, and I am not saying there is anything wrong with his choice or with working for SDFU, but in college he had done internships in both the House and the Senate and for National Farmers Union and he really wanted to go to DC when he graduated but just didn't have the money. Well, good Lord, I don't have any money either! Am I ever really going to get there? Are all of these things ever going to happen? So far, things have just worked out for me--God knows how, or why. I ask myself that all the time. But when is it going to end? When is it just not going to work? When am I going to end up bouncing along behind the car?
And I want to go on a May session trip. And I want to do ELTAP and go somewhere crazy. And about 50 bajillion other things. And time just keeps on going...I have panicky moments where I swear that I am just going to wake up one day and be 35 and living in Dickinson and working at the cabinet factory or something. I was recently talking to someone who just graduated from college and was just hired by SDFU. Which is great, and I am not saying there is anything wrong with his choice or with working for SDFU, but in college he had done internships in both the House and the Senate and for National Farmers Union and he really wanted to go to DC when he graduated but just didn't have the money. Well, good Lord, I don't have any money either! Am I ever really going to get there? Are all of these things ever going to happen? So far, things have just worked out for me--God knows how, or why. I ask myself that all the time. But when is it going to end? When is it just not going to work? When am I going to end up bouncing along behind the car?