Im ok...
I haven't been feeling great all week and when I went to bed i could feel a migraine coming on, so i tokk 5 ibuprofens and hit the sack,
Amanda is coming up this weekend which is soosososos cool. I need some amanda time all to myself, we have not done that in so long! She should be here no later than 330, which is cool and she gets to eat dinner and go to saras game with us. Then on saturday its Homecoming, so im gonna tailgate with Matt and Erik, Jenni and SuAnn are coming down for the game which is cool, cuz i missed them both last week due to a stupid fucking migraine. So i get most of my girls here with me, not all of them :/ but thats ok ill get to see Em next weekend and karen on Dec the 17th! cuz ima be sittin in her driveway the minute she pulls into her house!
I havent talked to a whole lot of ppl lately, and honestly i dont know why....Just havent felt like making the effort in calling them. I dont see a need when they arent concerned with me and my well being, or cant confront me about certain things. Which pisses me off more and more. If you just feel the need to blow me off, then apparently fuck you and leave my life...and by the way those were my friends first...thats how i feel and right now anyone who decides to tell me to knock it off or to tell me to cool down i just dont care, you are in the line of fire. Apparently i have to do some reevaluating of some things, and my friendships are one of them because of someone compromising them, or me and that person compromising them.....I have to do it tho, as much as i dont want to its time to clear myself and maybe even just disappear for a while. no one seems like they are gonna care too much.
Hell if i leave, i dont think anyone would notice. I just dont think they will, they dont fucking care they are so wrapped up in other ppl and their lives that although i dont put off like anything is wrong there is
'
i feel like shit, i miss home alot...there are times i wish i was there going to sc4 and living at home so i had a life.....i almost dont want to socialize here because i dont want anymore friends and i dont want to get caught up doing the "wrong" things.....but if i did WHO honestly would notice? maybe the girls, because its not like i talk to any of the boys anymore....they can all just about kiss my ass being so wrapped up in who said what, who is fucking who, and who is not talking to each other, and O did i mention everyone elses relationships although by doing it they are compromising their own?????
Its been so fucked up i wish i just had my girls, no one else......without the stupid boys we did just damn fine to find someone to date and have fun........it was fun all summer with them, and all winter for me but now its just different and id rather not be around it
I dont know
I miss talking to someone, but my pride wont let me call because i feel as if i deserve something said to me
I miss sean, all i want right now is someone holding me and taking my worries off of me
I miss theo cuz i just do and i can dammit
it was alot easier when I had someone, and i realize that it will come in due time, but dammit im sick of watching i want one, i want what i had with mike, and sean, and dave, and theo
i want to feel safe again, and i dont right now....
i cant explain it but i just want to feel safe, need that right now
Gary Allan
~Best I Ever Had~
Vers. 1
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
And nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
(Chorus)
But I'ts not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
Vers. 2
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
We'll send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
(Chorus)
But I'ts not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
Bridge
And it might take some time
To patch me up inside
But I cant take it so I
I run away and hide
I might find it in time
That you were always right
You were always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Was it what you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted?
(Chorus)
But It's not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You dont want me back
You're just the best I ever had
You're just the best I ever had...
Amanda is coming up this weekend which is soosososos cool. I need some amanda time all to myself, we have not done that in so long! She should be here no later than 330, which is cool and she gets to eat dinner and go to saras game with us. Then on saturday its Homecoming, so im gonna tailgate with Matt and Erik, Jenni and SuAnn are coming down for the game which is cool, cuz i missed them both last week due to a stupid fucking migraine. So i get most of my girls here with me, not all of them :/ but thats ok ill get to see Em next weekend and karen on Dec the 17th! cuz ima be sittin in her driveway the minute she pulls into her house!
I havent talked to a whole lot of ppl lately, and honestly i dont know why....Just havent felt like making the effort in calling them. I dont see a need when they arent concerned with me and my well being, or cant confront me about certain things. Which pisses me off more and more. If you just feel the need to blow me off, then apparently fuck you and leave my life...and by the way those were my friends first...thats how i feel and right now anyone who decides to tell me to knock it off or to tell me to cool down i just dont care, you are in the line of fire. Apparently i have to do some reevaluating of some things, and my friendships are one of them because of someone compromising them, or me and that person compromising them.....I have to do it tho, as much as i dont want to its time to clear myself and maybe even just disappear for a while. no one seems like they are gonna care too much.
Hell if i leave, i dont think anyone would notice. I just dont think they will, they dont fucking care they are so wrapped up in other ppl and their lives that although i dont put off like anything is wrong there is
'
i feel like shit, i miss home alot...there are times i wish i was there going to sc4 and living at home so i had a life.....i almost dont want to socialize here because i dont want anymore friends and i dont want to get caught up doing the "wrong" things.....but if i did WHO honestly would notice? maybe the girls, because its not like i talk to any of the boys anymore....they can all just about kiss my ass being so wrapped up in who said what, who is fucking who, and who is not talking to each other, and O did i mention everyone elses relationships although by doing it they are compromising their own?????
Its been so fucked up i wish i just had my girls, no one else......without the stupid boys we did just damn fine to find someone to date and have fun........it was fun all summer with them, and all winter for me but now its just different and id rather not be around it
I dont know
I miss talking to someone, but my pride wont let me call because i feel as if i deserve something said to me
I miss sean, all i want right now is someone holding me and taking my worries off of me
I miss theo cuz i just do and i can dammit
it was alot easier when I had someone, and i realize that it will come in due time, but dammit im sick of watching i want one, i want what i had with mike, and sean, and dave, and theo
i want to feel safe again, and i dont right now....
i cant explain it but i just want to feel safe, need that right now
Gary Allan
~Best I Ever Had~
Vers. 1
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
And nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
(Chorus)
But I'ts not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
Vers. 2
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
We'll send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
(Chorus)
But I'ts not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
Bridge
And it might take some time
To patch me up inside
But I cant take it so I
I run away and hide
I might find it in time
That you were always right
You were always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Was it what you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted?
(Chorus)
But It's not so bad..
You're only the best I ever had
You dont want me back
You're just the best I ever had
You're just the best I ever had...