Forever In My Heart
Today was the most powerful day of my life. As stated in my previous entry, my grandmother was sent home from the hospital for closure, as her health was rapidly declining. Today, as we have for the past several days, all 12 of my aunts and uncles and 14 cousins went up to Ma's Newton home and stayed with her.
Ma was unconscious all day, and she was on a steady dosage of morphine to alleviate the pain of the blood clotting in her lungs, complete renal failure and cancer eating away at her. The family came in and out of the room, telling Ma how much we loved her and sharing all of our favorite stories involving the wonderful woman. I think my favorite Ma story is when she ended up unwrapping a box full of condoms, which was one of the gag gifts during our annual family yankee swap during Christmas a few years back, and all she could say was, "oh dear!"
I also loved talking about the Red Sox with her, even though she became frustrated because she couldn't keep up with all of the changing players. My aunt Kathy found an obituary that Ma wrote for herself a year or two ago, and the very last line of it states, "An avid Red Sox fan." And you guys wonder where I get it from.
Around 6 PM, my mom (who was nursing her for the past few days) noticed that Ma's breathing pattern had changed, and she informed everyone that Ma's time was quickly fading, so to say our goodbyes. We all formed a circle around her bed, and one by one, each of her children and her grand children approached her and said our final farewell. My final words to Ma were, "I love you so much, Ma... and you know that David Ortiz home run yesterday was for you." Minutes later, at 6:32 PM on the 12th day of June in 2006, Ma passed away peacefully, with all of her family around her bedside. Tears streaming, we all joined hands in a circle and prayed for her:
Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
We then said goodbye to her once more and filed out to console each other. During this time, I sat down with my 1 year old second cousin Emma (most adorable little thing EVER) and looked through a scrap book full of pictures of Ma and my grandfather and all of their kids (my dad included) from when they were little. In the scrap book, I found a telegram dated from December 7th, 1944. It was a telegram that my grandfather sent to Ma while he was stationed in Africa during World War II. It read, "loving of you during this Christmas season. All is well on the front. May God be with you until we meet again." God willing, they did meet again, and had four more kids in addition to the two they already had, my father included.
There were several pictures of my grandfather included in the scrap book. Some of the pictures were from when he and Ma were in their 20s and were just a couple of young kids in love, and some of the pictures were of my grandfather when he was older and with some of my older cousins like Debbie, Michelle and Matt. This made me think about how much I wish I had met him. James Lawrence Burns Sr. died on May 3rd, 1983 of a massive heart failure. On May 3rd, 1986 - three years to the day of his death - my mother gave birth to me and my parents named me James Lawrence Burns III in his honor. I wish I could just once meet the man who was great enough to marry Ma. The man whose essence I was destined to carry on from the day I was born. I hope I'm doing a good job of it.
Ma's services are Thursday and Friday, and the amount of people present is sure to exceed a few hundred people. She has touched an incredible amount of hearts over her years, and myself and my 5 other male cousins will have the incredible honor of being the pallbearers at her funeral, where she will be buried next to my grandfather. It's going to be a very trying week, but I take great contentment in knowing that she went pleasantly with all of her immediate family emitting love around her, just as we have been every Sunday for the past 20 years.
Rest In Peace, Margaret "Ma" Regan Burns. Everytime I feel the wind blow, the sun kiss my face or see a star twinkle in the sky, I'll be thinking of you. I love you beyond anything I could ever express through the written word and I will never in my life let what you have meant to me falter. I only wish everyone was fortunate enough to meet you. The world would be a better place for it.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."
Ma was unconscious all day, and she was on a steady dosage of morphine to alleviate the pain of the blood clotting in her lungs, complete renal failure and cancer eating away at her. The family came in and out of the room, telling Ma how much we loved her and sharing all of our favorite stories involving the wonderful woman. I think my favorite Ma story is when she ended up unwrapping a box full of condoms, which was one of the gag gifts during our annual family yankee swap during Christmas a few years back, and all she could say was, "oh dear!"
I also loved talking about the Red Sox with her, even though she became frustrated because she couldn't keep up with all of the changing players. My aunt Kathy found an obituary that Ma wrote for herself a year or two ago, and the very last line of it states, "An avid Red Sox fan." And you guys wonder where I get it from.
Around 6 PM, my mom (who was nursing her for the past few days) noticed that Ma's breathing pattern had changed, and she informed everyone that Ma's time was quickly fading, so to say our goodbyes. We all formed a circle around her bed, and one by one, each of her children and her grand children approached her and said our final farewell. My final words to Ma were, "I love you so much, Ma... and you know that David Ortiz home run yesterday was for you." Minutes later, at 6:32 PM on the 12th day of June in 2006, Ma passed away peacefully, with all of her family around her bedside. Tears streaming, we all joined hands in a circle and prayed for her:
Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
We then said goodbye to her once more and filed out to console each other. During this time, I sat down with my 1 year old second cousin Emma (most adorable little thing EVER) and looked through a scrap book full of pictures of Ma and my grandfather and all of their kids (my dad included) from when they were little. In the scrap book, I found a telegram dated from December 7th, 1944. It was a telegram that my grandfather sent to Ma while he was stationed in Africa during World War II. It read, "loving of you during this Christmas season. All is well on the front. May God be with you until we meet again." God willing, they did meet again, and had four more kids in addition to the two they already had, my father included.
There were several pictures of my grandfather included in the scrap book. Some of the pictures were from when he and Ma were in their 20s and were just a couple of young kids in love, and some of the pictures were of my grandfather when he was older and with some of my older cousins like Debbie, Michelle and Matt. This made me think about how much I wish I had met him. James Lawrence Burns Sr. died on May 3rd, 1983 of a massive heart failure. On May 3rd, 1986 - three years to the day of his death - my mother gave birth to me and my parents named me James Lawrence Burns III in his honor. I wish I could just once meet the man who was great enough to marry Ma. The man whose essence I was destined to carry on from the day I was born. I hope I'm doing a good job of it.
Ma's services are Thursday and Friday, and the amount of people present is sure to exceed a few hundred people. She has touched an incredible amount of hearts over her years, and myself and my 5 other male cousins will have the incredible honor of being the pallbearers at her funeral, where she will be buried next to my grandfather. It's going to be a very trying week, but I take great contentment in knowing that she went pleasantly with all of her immediate family emitting love around her, just as we have been every Sunday for the past 20 years.
Rest In Peace, Margaret "Ma" Regan Burns. Everytime I feel the wind blow, the sun kiss my face or see a star twinkle in the sky, I'll be thinking of you. I love you beyond anything I could ever express through the written word and I will never in my life let what you have meant to me falter. I only wish everyone was fortunate enough to meet you. The world would be a better place for it.
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was
walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the
sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he
noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one
belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When
the last scene of his life flashed before him, he
looked back at the footprints in the sand. He
noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest
times in his life. This really bothered him and he
questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that
once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all
the way. But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life, there is only one set
of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed
you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it
was then that I Carried You."