(no subject)
"X-Amount Of Words"
"X-Amount Of Words" by: Blue October
Relapse
Prevent trigger intent
Now drown
High strung
Say X amount of words
You're solar, bipolar
Panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it
You mold, you mold
Yeah you shape to mold
Oh you're bold you're bold
But your shape is bold
You're a symptom superficial
To what they call knowing you
Minus the speed,
Could you imagine the phobia?
Your brain is faulty wiring
the reason for tiring
Keep treating the curse,
Imagine the worst
Systematic, sympathetic
Quite pathetic, apologetic, paramedic
Your heart is prosthetic
A plate of quite peculiar
On a dish of my own
A tablespoon of feather
tickle me to the bone
Give me recipes for happy
with the chemicals gone
Drinking freedom from a bottle
to the tune of belong
I'm sick of shaking
never waking
from the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me
with the crying disease
Another curing, reassuring
way to buckle the knees
So mistreated, I repeated
Never blessing your sneeze
Now deleted and defeated
I will stand on my own
Yeah your memory that punches me
has broken the bone
Give me recipes for sorry
I'm admitting I'm wrong
Still your memory that punches me
has broken the bone
---------------------------------------
I have had these feelings. At the moment I'm pretty much in control of & over my insanity. Some days it feels like there is a great effort put into me staying of "normal" mind. That's because I'm not "normal" there is no normal. If you think there is you may have more problems than I do.
---Come on.----
People are all so different that how can there be a norm? We see advertisements that show skinny women & buff men plastered all over the media, city, store, magazines, etc. But that doesn't mirror who Americans are! We are overweight, unstable, real, breathing humans that don't fit the media's dreamland. Sure, we want to look pretty &/or handsome but who says that means looking like everybody else? If you believe the only right way to look is like those fake, plastic stars in Hollywood. Wake the fuck up! It's ok to be who you are & not what people think you should be. This goes for the media, friends, family, peers, everybody! We cause ourselves stress & pain that is not needed. Stop, please, I don't want to see any of my friends fucked up & stressed out over not being like Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt... Even though I do think those 2 are hot, I know I'm not them (not even close).
The realistic goals I hold for myself are to be healthy, around 150-175 lbs., have my diabetes under control, get my teeth reconstructed, get implants where I lack teeth, & to love what I can about myself! Currently I am having slight problems with my health again & it's discouraging, This last week & a half my legs have been extremely swollen. Wednesday I went to my doctors & they took me off Advania (diabetic pill) & put me on Gluophage (a different diabetic pil). Yesterday morning I woke up vomiting & felt sick & sleepy all day. This morning I have to get blood drawn & then I have another doctor's appointment this coming up Wednesday. I also asked my doctor about the Lap Band surgery which is where they surgically put a rubber band thingy on your stomach to make you eat less & loose weight. The doctor has referred me & hopefully my insurance covers the surgery! I so want to loose weight & it's not happening through diet. As far as exercise, I haven't been able to do much because of my legs swelling & being infected.
This has become quite the rant & up-date. I'm tired & ready to crash out for a few hours. Peace out all & thanks for being my friends!!!
"X-Amount Of Words" by: Blue October
Relapse
Prevent trigger intent
Now drown
High strung
Say X amount of words
You're solar, bipolar
Panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it
You mold, you mold
Yeah you shape to mold
Oh you're bold you're bold
But your shape is bold
You're a symptom superficial
To what they call knowing you
Minus the speed,
Could you imagine the phobia?
Your brain is faulty wiring
the reason for tiring
Keep treating the curse,
Imagine the worst
Systematic, sympathetic
Quite pathetic, apologetic, paramedic
Your heart is prosthetic
A plate of quite peculiar
On a dish of my own
A tablespoon of feather
tickle me to the bone
Give me recipes for happy
with the chemicals gone
Drinking freedom from a bottle
to the tune of belong
I'm sick of shaking
never waking
from the hell I achieve
I never knew you till you left me
with the crying disease
Another curing, reassuring
way to buckle the knees
So mistreated, I repeated
Never blessing your sneeze
Now deleted and defeated
I will stand on my own
Yeah your memory that punches me
has broken the bone
Give me recipes for sorry
I'm admitting I'm wrong
Still your memory that punches me
has broken the bone
---------------------------------------
I have had these feelings. At the moment I'm pretty much in control of & over my insanity. Some days it feels like there is a great effort put into me staying of "normal" mind. That's because I'm not "normal" there is no normal. If you think there is you may have more problems than I do.
---Come on.----
People are all so different that how can there be a norm? We see advertisements that show skinny women & buff men plastered all over the media, city, store, magazines, etc. But that doesn't mirror who Americans are! We are overweight, unstable, real, breathing humans that don't fit the media's dreamland. Sure, we want to look pretty &/or handsome but who says that means looking like everybody else? If you believe the only right way to look is like those fake, plastic stars in Hollywood. Wake the fuck up! It's ok to be who you are & not what people think you should be. This goes for the media, friends, family, peers, everybody! We cause ourselves stress & pain that is not needed. Stop, please, I don't want to see any of my friends fucked up & stressed out over not being like Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt... Even though I do think those 2 are hot, I know I'm not them (not even close).
The realistic goals I hold for myself are to be healthy, around 150-175 lbs., have my diabetes under control, get my teeth reconstructed, get implants where I lack teeth, & to love what I can about myself! Currently I am having slight problems with my health again & it's discouraging, This last week & a half my legs have been extremely swollen. Wednesday I went to my doctors & they took me off Advania (diabetic pill) & put me on Gluophage (a different diabetic pil). Yesterday morning I woke up vomiting & felt sick & sleepy all day. This morning I have to get blood drawn & then I have another doctor's appointment this coming up Wednesday. I also asked my doctor about the Lap Band surgery which is where they surgically put a rubber band thingy on your stomach to make you eat less & loose weight. The doctor has referred me & hopefully my insurance covers the surgery! I so want to loose weight & it's not happening through diet. As far as exercise, I haven't been able to do much because of my legs swelling & being infected.
This has become quite the rant & up-date. I'm tired & ready to crash out for a few hours. Peace out all & thanks for being my friends!!!