(no subject)
Kinda upset...Todays been very bleak.
I woke up at 7, took my shower, had drivers ed from 8-1pm, so that took up a little chunk of my day. It sort of sucks, I mean yes, atleast I'll be getting a car and my license, but growing up steals your youth, and I wasted all my youth years and avoided having fun, now the only fun I'll ever have will only be a big dissapointment in the end because I know that every day I'll only have one thing to look forward to and thats going to be work, forget about carefree, Its time for a schedualed life... I better make it worth it.
Sooo, I dont know why I'm so worried, I'm young, ive got a whole shitload of time ahead of me... for christ sakes I have plans for the summer, plans that many other kids dont even have the chance of, I could have it worse, I could have nothing at all.
I don't know how to think, and when I need to know that most I'm so exhuasted... I get grumpy, I get pissed off so easily, you ask me a question, a simple question, and you'd swear I were the grinch... "I hate christmas! rar!"
I dunno, I'm kinda sad though, my voice actually has been like soar for the past couple days, I don't think I used it overly, maybe its growing or w.e, or just like tired from stayign up late then getting home and crashing, maybe allergies, i dunno, but it just sounds so weak, I'm not use to it, it like affects my entire mood.
So when I got home from drivers ed, I ate, and I realized, i ate liek nothing today basically, and I havn't been hungry once.. it reminds me though... sometimes I don't even know when I'm hungry or not... I mean sometimes Its very obviosus that I'm hungry, but sometimes, Its alittle frightening, like living off 1 meal a day, when I should be having actually about 6 to keep up with my metabolism... I do need to set myself some life guidlines, just my own personal ones, for my own healthy benifit.
Its almost like I'm starring at the spotless ceiling of my room, where theres is clutter all around, but the ceiling it just one big blank and clean sheet, no clutter, no emotion, no time for emotions... they can either make or break a person... I dont want to be made or broken right now.. I want to figure things out, I dont knwo what, but somewhere they will come to me, and hey will bring with them an answer I hope. I really hope.